She could destroy him utterly with a word. And he would not blame her; she has every right. She reached out to him when no one else in the universe would have, not even Thor, and he repaid her with harsh words and treachery. That the treachery was unintentional makes no difference now. And the dead, surely, know all things. She must know.
You might want to take the stairs to the left.
He didn't know what the invaders were after. Had heard a whisper about Thor's mortal guest but no rumors about what her presence here might mean. He did not know Kurse would find his target in Frigga's own chambers. It was pure spite, that little word of advice, a moment of 'oh, let's see Thor and Odin handle this one', but he never truly thought it would result in the death of any save the intruder.
Thor was supposed to be there to handle it.
But it's not Thor's fault, and even Loki can't lie to himself convincingly enough to let him believe that.
He waits for her response, waits for the axe to fall, and the stroke goes wide, landing to one side of him. She has nearly always seen through him. Perhaps she saw even deeper than he realized. He looks up at her like he's facing a firing squad, but there's something else in his eyes, frightened and hungry.
"I should not have said that," he tells her. "I should have taken your compassion with...with the humility I have long been unable to muster. Everyone denied me but you. I should have..."
He takes a ragged breath, and releases it, eyes closing. "I'm sorry. But I have to, have to know, Mother, why--"
He swallows throat dry. "You could not have told me the truth of my heritage growing up. I understand that. Your reasons were not unsound, and it is bad for a people to have a King and Queen at odds. I understand. But you heard the tales told around the hearth, surely? The glorious battles against the Jotun, the celebration of Odin's prowess, Thor's joy in the telling. His promise to rid the Nine of the monsters for good and all when he became king."
"It was a child's aggression, nothing more, back then, but it grew. How could it not? I saw it before you or Fa--or Odin ever did. Or did I? Why did you not stop it?"
"A-a-all the love in the Nine realms cannot make me what I am not. Being of Asgard does not make me not of Jotunheim. Did you and Odin truly never think of what I might feel on learning the truth? That I spent my sweet childhood listening to tales of my monstrous, murderous forebears and the glory of their slaughter?"
When he opens his eyes again, they're red, down to the sclera, and the pink of his skin is fading into blue. He holds out his hands helplessly. "That is what I should have said. Is this your son, or merely the illusion I wore? I don't understand. Please, just make me understand."
no subject
You might want to take the stairs to the left.
He didn't know what the invaders were after. Had heard a whisper about Thor's mortal guest but no rumors about what her presence here might mean. He did not know Kurse would find his target in Frigga's own chambers. It was pure spite, that little word of advice, a moment of 'oh, let's see Thor and Odin handle this one', but he never truly thought it would result in the death of any save the intruder.
Thor was supposed to be there to handle it.
But it's not Thor's fault, and even Loki can't lie to himself convincingly enough to let him believe that.
He waits for her response, waits for the axe to fall, and the stroke goes wide, landing to one side of him. She has nearly always seen through him. Perhaps she saw even deeper than he realized. He looks up at her like he's facing a firing squad, but there's something else in his eyes, frightened and hungry.
"I should not have said that," he tells her. "I should have taken your compassion with...with the humility I have long been unable to muster. Everyone denied me but you. I should have..."
He takes a ragged breath, and releases it, eyes closing. "I'm sorry. But I have to, have to know, Mother, why--"
He swallows throat dry. "You could not have told me the truth of my heritage growing up. I understand that. Your reasons were not unsound, and it is bad for a people to have a King and Queen at odds. I understand. But you heard the tales told around the hearth, surely? The glorious battles against the Jotun, the celebration of Odin's prowess, Thor's joy in the telling. His promise to rid the Nine of the monsters for good and all when he became king."
"It was a child's aggression, nothing more, back then, but it grew. How could it not? I saw it before you or Fa--or Odin ever did. Or did I? Why did you not stop it?"
"A-a-all the love in the Nine realms cannot make me what I am not. Being of Asgard does not make me not of Jotunheim. Did you and Odin truly never think of what I might feel on learning the truth? That I spent my sweet childhood listening to tales of my monstrous, murderous forebears and the glory of their slaughter?"
When he opens his eyes again, they're red, down to the sclera, and the pink of his skin is fading into blue. He holds out his hands helplessly. "That is what I should have said. Is this your son, or merely the illusion I wore? I don't understand. Please, just make me understand."