Well, this guy kinda looks like the one in the PSA (spoiler: he's not that guy, actually, but a very close and usually-acceptable substitute), so he's probably not a bad choice to approach. His brow creases in concern when the kid comes up to him looking like he's in pain, and he crouches a little to be closer to his eye-level.

"Uh...I mean, we can definitely find you something, but how old are you? I think Reye's syndrome is a concern up into the teenage years, so I'm not sure aspirin is the greatest idea. Tylenol and a cup of cocoa?"

Captain Dad-merica has made his counteroffer, young man. Your move.