nexus_crossings | https://tinyurl.com/ufdk43p

A trail of strange, unidentifiable red petals winds through the plaza this cold day in the Nexus. Not a heap of them, but enough small bits of brilliant red to pop out amid the snow and dreary ground to leave a distinct marking of something or someone passing through.

The trail leads anyone following it to Nike, currently brushing more of those petals out of her impossibly long golden tresses, her brow furrowed in concentration. It's more of an emotion than her countenance normally belies. She startles to see anyone approaching her and drops her hands from her hair quickly. Scrambles for a long piece of red and white cloth she's got folded into her pack.

"Apologies. I did have queries for the populace today." Her fingers grip and cinch the fabric between them, slowly working their ways down the length of the cloth. She fidgets with it while she addresses anyone who will listen.

"Why do people choose partners based on mere attraction? Out of dozens of qualifying attributes, why should something so unimportant have a disproportionate weight to the equation? The choice could be made based on compatibility of skills, or a mutually sought after goal or..." Nike trails off and with a sudden forceful flick of her wrist bunches up the fabric in her hands to flop against her thighs in clear frustration. The demon clearly does not understand and it's eating at her.

"Why do you do this?"

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Nike's expression does not lighten in the slightest to be laughed at. The gesture doesn't offend her exactly, but she doesn't see what's so funny about the entire situation. Emotions in general are still such a minefield for her and her keeper. If someone is laughing it could be for any number of reasons, only a few of which make any sense to her.

She stays quiet and listens. Her fingers dig into the cloth clutched against her thighs.

"Humans are hardly the only offenders but they are the most prolific of them. It seems like such a waste of energy and time. Even when worlds hang in the balance they waste what little they have on such frivolous things." Duty and honor Nike understands. Respects, even. Hope, joy...love...that's still a bit out of her reach yet.

How utterly precious. It's obvious she isn't human or used to being around them. Toby chuckles again, shaking his head as he stuffs his hands in his coat pockets to keep them occupied.

"It's cliche, but love is the whole reason anyone mortal does anything. They want to be connected to others and love allows for the deepest connections." He shrugs. "It might be a waste of time and energy, but loneliness is a hell of a buzzkill and driving force. No one wants to be by themselves all the time. Having a constant companion, even if it's only a friend you love rather than a lover or a mate, soothes the ache in a way nothing else can."

Hundreds of years roaming his version of Earth have taught him that he can't always be alone and still function, but he can understand where Nike's coming from. If one has an infinite lifespan, it isn't always obvious why reaching out to others would be useful. The need to interact with others is a powerful drug that everyone has to deal with, though.

"Loneliness? But they live together in communities. So few of them are ever alone."

Nike wants to understand humans better, especially as it seems to be her fate to live among them. If she can learn to fit in better she'll be even more of an asset to her host. More useful to her cause.

"They ache over perceived isolation while never truly being isolated?"

"You can be surrounded by a literal sea of people and still be lonely. If you can't or don't connect with someone, you can be lonely as hell even when talking to other people. You're not physically alone in those moments, but mentally? You can be on another planet even when you're trying to sit beside someone."

Toby frowns sympathetically at Nike. This isn't something that's easily explained, but he's trying. It's something he knows so intimately that it shouldn't be difficult to explain, but her understanding is so different from his own. It's almost like trying to explain the concept of air to someone who's never had to breathe before.

"People can ache about a lot of things. If you get in your own head about something, convince yourself that it's true when it's not, you can distance yourself from others without trying." His lips twitch into a dark imitation of a smirk briefly. "That's not even accounting for others ostracizing you over a perceived slight, and that happens far more often than it should these days."

Toby's got the right idea of why this is so difficult a concept for the demon to grasp. Nike sits and listens patiently but with an emptiness that belies her distance from the problem they're discussing. Emotions are a complex and often distasteful subject for her to delve into and it's obvious she doesn't quite have them as pervasively as humans do. She's far from free of them (no matter what she says) but they don't plague her nearly as pervasively as they do humanity.

"So a perception of isolation becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, or other community members shun or remove individuals from their collective group. For a species that depends on social communes to thrive, that must be an exceptional punishment." Worth lying to try and avoid. Worth extra effort to prove an individual cares about the import of social interaction. Tiresome, to Nike. But logical in a fashion.

"I could not be alone if I tried among them. I'm contracted to one of their protectors in such a manner that even when I am physically left behind I can be summoned with a simple incantation." Which is. Well. It's better than it was. Nike is not often left alone to wander the Nexus by herself these days.

Well, she seems to be getting it. Kind of. Maybe. ...okay maybe not so much after that last part about being contracted, but he can tell she's trying? That's worth something and helps him figure out where to go in his explanations.

"Humans are creatures of habit. Change frightens them, and they react poorly out of fear, even if that fear isn't real in the sense of immediate danger." Toby pauses for a moment and gives himself a moment to think by pulling a cigarette from a carton in his pocket. He doesn't light it, but fiddling with it gives him something to focus on as he tries to come up with a way to phrase his next thought. "Sometimes their fear of being rejected is greater than their fear of being alone, and they'll push others away as a result. People on either end of the situation - the one trying to get in or required to let someone in - can fuck it up for everyone involved."

But... man. That contract thing. That's a real head scratcher for the vampire. "So you're with this person in spirit all the time?" he asks awkwardly. "I don't think that's quite the same thing as not being able to feel lonely. When you're not with this protector of yours... do you miss them?"

"Yes. That I understand. Demons are also habitual creatures though most of my kind react to change with aggression rather than fear." Not all, though. There are as many kinds of demons with many varying degrees of power as there are creatures in the multiverse it feels like. Within the Collective Unconscious anything can be created if only enough minds hold belief.

Still. Maybe she is beginning to understand at least a little.

"Not consciously but yes. My soul is bound to hers until such time as she terminates our contract." It's safety for Nike. Convenient. "I am sustained by her this way. I need not consume to survive, nor can I die a true death so long as she is alive. Even if this vessel perishes she can re-summon me." Has many times, by now. But the last bit...that last little question. It lodges itself deep into her chest and brings an ache she has no words for.

For the first time since Toby got her to calm down from her frustrations a new emotion begins to creep into the angel's expression. She won't meet his gaze although she doesn't seem to notice. Her brow furrows and the corners of her mouth turn down ever so slightly. Her posture sags and even her hair seems to nearly give in to gravity's will as it falls still behind her.

Yes.

"I am kept appraised of her situation and if I am not needed there is no reason to cease in my own obligations."

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