No easy answer, then. If you are going to help your friend, and to do this you must revisit old pain for your loved one, then you will be hurting someone either way. Between two bad choices, you might have to pick the lesser evil. Is your friend in danger?
If it can't be painless, you can still take steps to limit the pain. Do either of them know about this problem? I would make sure that both of them know what you're going to do and why, so they understand.
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If it can't be painless, you can still take steps to limit the pain. Do either of them know about this problem? I would make sure that both of them know what you're going to do and why, so they understand.