Personal Dilemmas

[conjuredskies]

Hey, did you know there’s a way to broadcast messages to the Nexus at large? Anyone might be forgiven for forgetting that, since it doesn’t happen too often these days. And yet, on PINpoints and phones and convenient computer screens alike, people might find an unexpected question incoming:

Given a choice between leaving a friend badly in the lurch, or forcing someone you love to revisit a very painful place, which do you pick?

It’s entirely anonymous and quite untraceable, though it seems certain that the culprit will be able to answer any reply sent. He’s actually hanging out in the bright, luxuriously upholstered environs of a particularly upscale café that offers free computer access, waiting for his IT consultant to come back with the drinks. It doesn’t feel very clandestine to him, but maybe Felix just isn’t used to the ways of the Space Age yet. That’s why he has a consultant.

Comments

[conjuredskies]

No talking is going to get me out of this one, I'm afraid. My friend needs something from me which I can't obtain without making my loved one revisit a terrible wound. Either physical consequences for one, or emotional suffering for the other.

[chiaro_oscuro]

No easy answer, then. If you are going to help your friend, and to do this you must revisit old pain for your loved one, then you will be hurting someone either way. Between two bad choices, you might have to pick the lesser evil. Is your friend in danger?

If it can't be painless, you can still take steps to limit the pain. Do either of them know about this problem? I would make sure that both of them know what you're going to do and why, so they understand.

[conjuredskies]

I doubt his colleagues would kill him, but he might prefer that to being thrown out to scrape by on his own. Assuming they don't get inventive with his punishment.

Explaining to them beforehand is out of the question. My friend knows all he needs to about the situation. And if I tell my loved one he'll only volunteer himself to suffer without regard for the consequences.

[chiaro_oscuro]

Your friend's colleagues sound harsh. If he was in physical danger, I would have suggested helping your friend first, but social consequences are bad, too.

[This is coming from somebody who doesn't do well with rules or discipline in general, so Ben can't really be neutral here. He doesn't know anything about this person's culture or universe, so he tries not to sound too judgmental.]

Ah, so if you tell him you think he'll take the choice into his own hands. I've known people like that. This is a difficult call. You might just have to do what you think is best and weather the storm.

I'm sorry I can't be more useful to you.

[conjuredskies]

Most guilds take a hard line on members stealing their valuable materials from them. Or helping someone else to do so, in this case. Not that he knew I was going to do that.

Not that Felix knew he was going to do that, at the time. Or so he thinks. He wasn’t wholly himself at the time, and the memories are all rather blurry.

Well, that’s why I’m asking. What is the best thing? To inflict lasting, tangible hurt on someone less important to me, or re-inflict trauma on someone close to me? Both of whom are only suffering because of my actions?

Which would you choose?

[chiaro_oscuro]

This situation sounds...complicated.

Speaking as someone who's made his share of bad choices, it sounds like there's no option you have that'll spare the other party pain. As I said, if there are no good choices you might need to use your own judgement and do your best. Are you sure there aren't any ways you can mitigate the fallout for either party?

As for what I would do in your situation...that's difficult. I'm not known for making good decisions, so I'd take this with a grain of salt. As someone who's made his share of bad choices, sometimes old wounds have to be opened for them to heal. It's not pretty or painless, but you and your loved one might come through this stronger than before.

[conjuredskies]

Not all that complicated. Some things I did traumatised one and left the other in trouble with his guild. I’m well aware that I can’t fix the situation for one without harming the other. Obviously I’ll try to mitigate the results but nothing I can do will make it significantly better. Taking care of someone you’ve hurt doesn’t make up for having done it.

Speaking from bitter experience. But there’s a long pause before the next part of the reply blips onto the screen. Long enough that maybe Ben’s struck on something there.

We’ve almost managed to put it behind us. We don’t talk about it. I don’t see how dragging that back into our lives would be a good thing.

[chiaro_oscuro]

No, it doesn't make up for having done it. But it's a place to start, and it's a way of taking ownership for your actions and their consequences. And there will be consequences either way, from what you described.

Ben considers his explanation, reading over the reply before he continues to type.

If you don't talk about this with your loved one, it won't heal. Even if you choose the other option, it will always be there in the background between you two. Sometimes you have to bring difficult things out into the open for them to truly mend, even if it is difficult at the time. It's better than letting them fester. If you do, they will come back.