Way back when, Keith had asked Shiro, the real Shiro, what had happened to him, in the year after the Kerberos mission. Shiro said he wished he knew.
He really had wished he knew.
Which was funny, really, seeing as Hiroki remembered all the memories of Shiro, during that whole year.
One day, he'd've to tell Takashi how grateful he should be to his own mind for forgetting.
Forgetting all experiments, forgetting all of Zarkon and Honerva visits, and forgetting all the blood on Shiro's hands.
On the other hand, Shiro's done good, more than Hiroki'd be able too, probably, in that year.
Prisoners that Shiro helped stealthily escape.
Somebody else might've been punished for it, by death, but no, Shiro was a precious commodity, Honerva wanted him alive.
And so...
Someday, Hiroki wants to tell the Champion everything about the Champion. The good and the bad.
Unlike Hiroki, the Champion was a hero. He helped, whenever he could, whenever there was something he could do to help. Hiroki could never do that, being what he is, and he's long ago now decided, after knowing what he is, that he'll never even try, because of course some evil clone couldn't help anyone. So Hiroki, being what he is, won't even try to help people. Alright, he'll try to help people while in Atlas, he can do that... but outside Atlas? He can't help anyone, being what he is.. He's decided that, nowadays, absolutely.
Anyway. Shiro... the Champion...
Because the Champion was a hero, even if he doesn't remember that, yes, Hiroki knows Shiro doesn't remember that, almost none of that, anymore. The hero of people who no longer expected any hero, ever.
Shiro was always a hero, Hiroki could see that, now, as an observer of memories, and how frustrating it was, sometimes, to know that Shiro thought, especially when thinking of that year, that he, Shiro, was likely a bad person back then??!
When unlike Hiroki, he wasn't, at all!
That's why-
Memories.
Hiroki has an eidetic memory. And he doesn't forget anything he sees, ever. Unless he does. But when he does, that's Honerva's fault, or the fault of the damage done to his spirit.
Usually, he has eidetic memory. Unlike Shiro.
Funny, then, discovering the holes in his memories - well, ones he didn't know he had.
Funny, also, how precise the memories - yes, all of them... even if hidden... still photographic memory, and so, when a memory comes back, of a moment, that moment is --- relived-- in full--
that's why-
Hiroki smiles weakly and shakes his head.
"Who are you now?"
The familiar stranger seems so upset, and somehow fragile, Hiroki thinks, and seems in need, he thinks.
Hiroki asks, without thinking, "And is there anything I can do to help?"
By the way, Jack really looks and sounds like Ziggy. Really. Lucifer never sounded like Ziggy. Jack does. Huh. Surely a coincident, those happen in Nexus, sometimes.
no subject
Don't know when or how...
Memories.
Way back when, Keith had asked Shiro, the real Shiro, what had happened to him, in the year after the Kerberos mission. Shiro said he wished he knew.
He really had wished he knew.
Which was funny, really, seeing as Hiroki remembered all the memories of Shiro, during that whole year.
One day, he'd've to tell Takashi how grateful he should be to his own mind for forgetting.
Forgetting all experiments, forgetting all of Zarkon and Honerva visits, and forgetting all the blood on Shiro's hands.
On the other hand, Shiro's done good, more than Hiroki'd be able too, probably, in that year.
Prisoners that Shiro helped stealthily escape.
Somebody else might've been punished for it, by death, but no, Shiro was a precious commodity, Honerva wanted him alive.
And so...
Someday, Hiroki wants to tell the Champion everything about the Champion. The good and the bad.
Unlike Hiroki, the Champion was a hero. He helped, whenever he could, whenever there was something he could do to help. Hiroki could never do that, being what he is, and he's long ago now decided, after knowing what he is, that he'll never even try, because of course some evil clone couldn't help anyone. So Hiroki, being what he is, won't even try to help people. Alright, he'll try to help people while in Atlas, he can do that... but outside Atlas? He can't help anyone, being what he is.. He's decided that, nowadays, absolutely.
Anyway. Shiro... the Champion...
Because the Champion was a hero, even if he doesn't remember that, yes, Hiroki knows Shiro doesn't remember that, almost none of that, anymore. The hero of people who no longer expected any hero, ever.
Shiro was always a hero, Hiroki could see that, now, as an observer of memories, and how frustrating it was, sometimes, to know that Shiro thought, especially when thinking of that year, that he, Shiro, was likely a bad person back then??!
When unlike Hiroki, he wasn't, at all!
That's why-
Memories.
Hiroki has an eidetic memory. And he doesn't forget anything he sees, ever. Unless he does. But when he does, that's Honerva's fault, or the fault of the damage done to his spirit.
Usually, he has eidetic memory. Unlike Shiro.
Funny, then, discovering the holes in his memories - well, ones he didn't know he had.
Funny, also, how precise the memories - yes, all of them... even if hidden... still photographic memory, and so, when a memory comes back, of a moment, that moment is --- relived-- in full--
that's why-
Hiroki smiles weakly and shakes his head.
"Who are you now?"
The familiar stranger seems so upset, and somehow fragile, Hiroki thinks, and seems in need, he thinks.
Hiroki asks, without thinking, "And is there anything I can do to help?"
By the way, Jack really looks and sounds like Ziggy. Really. Lucifer never sounded like Ziggy. Jack does. Huh. Surely a coincident, those happen in Nexus, sometimes.