He wants to articulate why it's so upsetting. Why the realization is enough to shake the foundations. How can he know what's real when any possibility of things could be real here in the nexus? How will he ever know that the Chris he sees here is the same one from his world? If Dr. Hill truly knows him the way he claims to?

What if the things Chris told him about that night were wrong? Wrong because they were from different versions of the same world? What if Josh...actually had killed like they had accused him of doing. There is no redemption from something like that. And he doesn't remember that night very well. He could have done anything.

What if...trying to start over in the Nexus is just him running from his punishment? How could Adia stand looking at him? A murderer. A monster. She might be the one seeing things right now, but he's the truly terrible thing here.

" ...Is she still here?" His voice is so quiet. So weak.