nexus_crossings | HELP HOW DOES I ANNIVERSARY

"Relax, Kirk. It's a turn of phrase. Sleepovers, girl talk, that kind of thing. I don't expect you to actually do anything."

The roll of her eyes has the same affectionate exasperation Jim's seen on Uhura before. She offers a small enigmatic smile when Jim takes a seat and starts to answer her questions. A perfectly manicured fingernail taps against the table's surface while she listens.

"He's a romantic through and through it sounds like. You'd be best sticking to the classics. The Big Romantic Gestures, as it were. Flowers, chocolate, intimate lingerie, scented baths. Make him feel pampered and cared for. Especially since he's the type to make you things. He'll appreciate that kind of care and attention returned. Let me know if you need help buying anything."

Flowers and chocolate, okay, that sounds reasonable enough. Jim nods slowly, considering that and trying to figure out how best to integrate it into a date. One that won't be totally ridiculous, anyway. "Yeah, he's the mushy type," he says, although he doesn't say it like it's a bad thing. "I don't wanna overdo it either, but I've gotta start somewhere. So skip the taco cart and hit up a nice restaurant," he adds, a note of humor in his voice. Hey, he may be wildly out of his depth, but he can laugh at himself about it. "We did a drag bar once, but I don't know if I've got that kinda prep time."

"You seem like you've got this more or less in hand, from the sound of it."

Seems like all he needs is a gift, really. And if that's the case, then this is something she can help with. Wants to, even. Because when the multiverse gives you a chance like this you don't turn your nose up at it.

"Alright, come on. Let's go get you something nice and skimpy to surprise him with later then." Natasha's smirk says that she's going to be having fun with this. "I'll even help ease the embarrassment and get something myself. Fair?"

More than a gift, what Jim really needs is a clue, but that's hardly something that someone else can give him, now is it. He'll take whatever help he can get, though, even if he can't understand why this is putting that glint in her eye.

"Sure," he says with a shrug, more than willing to go along with this. He's not ashamed of his body, nor why of opportunities to show it off. And if Natasha is going to come along, well, he wouldn't exactly turn down eye candy when it's offered, would he? Doesn't hurt just to look. "You have someone special you wanna surprise, or is this just a solidarity thing?" he asks, a little amused.

"In my line of work, these kinds of things come in handy. More often than you'd think."

Has Jim ever had to kill someone using only fishnets? No, but Natasha knows which brands to stick to for her own needs. All she has to do is find something that Hunter will appreciate and frankly, with Jim as her model it won't be difficult. He'll look good in damn near anything she's certain. No this is much more for her own amusement than it is thinking Jim needs help getting this sort of wear.

"You'd think I could start writing these off as business expenses by now."

Hey, you gotta get your kicks where you can find them. Jim's no different, and expects no less of her either. If she thinks taking him shopping is a worthwhile use of her time, he's not gonna say no. It always helps to get a second opinion.

Write off...? As someone raised in an economy where money is a rather antiquated idea, it takes him a minute to figure out what the hell she's talking about. "Why can't you?" he asks, arching his eyebrows. "You've gotta pay out of pocket?"

"It's a...it's a saying. And so far as I know, unless you work at a legal brothel you totally can't expense sexy lingerie no matter what job you've got. It's really not a big deal. But as a spy, pretending to be into my targets has a very high success rate of getting me what I need in a lot of situations."

She's leading Jim further into the urban sprawl of the Nexus' shopping district. Past carts selling some kind of critter smoked on a stick, down roads lined with shops for potion ingredients, candle shops, kitchen stores. Jim knows where they're headed as soon as he catches sight of the building. Hi-gloss photos of models in all kinds of negligee and lingerie. Most of them human, even.

"So, have you ever worn this kind of thing before? How much help do you need?"

"Well, that sounds unfair to me." He's mostly joking. Mostly. Seriously though, if it's part of her job, it doesn't make sense why it shouldn't count. Man, hanging around Hunter as much as he does, sometimes Jim forgets how ridiculously prudish twentieth-century Western humans often were. It's just sex, man.

Oh, nice. Even if that wasn't where they were going, Jim takes a moment to appreciate the advertising, before Natasha's question interrupts his train of thought. Ah well. "I did a summer in Vegas as an exotic dancer once," he admits freely, without a hint of shame. "Didn't pick my own outfits though. I know what I like but I'm not really a fashion guy, so if you wanna tell me my taste is terrible, I'm open to suggestions."

"You did? Actually, after seeing you dance before I'm not surprised in the least. I'd wondered where you learned how to roll your hips like that."

Natasha grins and pulls the door open for them to head inside. Like most of these sorts of stores there's a faint hint of perfume wafting throughout the floor. She's skipping right past the casual underwear and nightwear and heading right for the good stuff.

"Okay, so what do you like? What did they put you in? I'm thinking you'd look good in black. Not so much white. Blue would bring out your eyes though."

Jim had almost forgotten about the dance off, and he smiles a little despite himself. Yeah, that was a blast, wasn't it? Soured a little by what came after, but... he'd had a good time, before that.

She hadn't really struck him as the boring type, so he's not surprised they're headed straight for the naughtier section. "They usually had me wearing flowy stuff, sheer silks and stuff like that, something that'd float around when I moved. Like a belly dancer kinda thing. I didn't have the beard back then though, so I don't know if I can still pull that off," he adds with a knowing grin. Yeah, it kinda ruins the whole look a bit. "Gold's my favorite, but I look good in black too. Not a fan of lace or bondage type stuff."

That earns a grin from Natasha. No, Jim. You can't wear that and keep the beard. Just no. The goal is to have Hunter seduced, not reduced to tears from laughing. He seems to nice to do that but it's a good joke so Natasha doesn't apologize to herself for it.

"No lace, no excessive ties and trussing. So does that rule out corsets?" He might not have the top to fill out from them, but they'd still go a long way toward accentuating his torso and hips. "Only problem with gold is making it look nice and not gaudy for something like this. You take a look around for anything in gold and see if there's something that catches your eye. I'm gonna...hm."

What she's going to do is borrow an unwatched measuring tape from the checkout counter and make her way back over to Jim.

"Hold still. I gotta figure out what size you are now."

"Corsets?" Wow, talk about old-fashioned. But... Hunter is a big fan of that pirate movie series, and they had corsets in that, even if Elizabeth looked way hotter once she'd ditched hers. Maybe if it doesn't fit for the anniversary, he could save it for later. Spice things up in bed a bit, 'cuz come on, if you're not laughing in bed every now and then, you're not having fun. "It's not gonna make me pass out, right?"

The tape measure momentarily draws his attention. Wow, isn't that quaint? No laser guides or scanners here, she's gotta do it manually. Or is that just an excuse to feel him up in the name of accurate measurements? Whatever the case, he's got a small but satisfied smirk on his face as she gets up close and personal with his anatomy. She's definitely not fumbling around like she hasn't done this before. "Come here often?"

"No, no one with any sense wears 'em that tight. You've got a nice body shape that would be complimented by one is all."

No, Jim. There's no lasers anywhere around here. And every worker has a similar tape draped over their shoulders. That's just how they do things here. Natasha catches that look Jim's giving her though.

"At ease, Captain. Don't tell me a man like you gets flustered having a lady this close?" She files away every measurement she takes for knowledge later, continuing their conversation while she works.

"I do occasionally work with a partner on undercover ops and you best believe I"m in charge of the undercover part. I wouldn't trust Barton to dress himself on the best of days."

"Hey, I'll try anything once." If she thinks a corset is worth trying, then sure, why not? Doesn't mean he's got to commit to anything if it doesn't work out, and you'll never find new things you like until you try 'em. Life-long philosophy, right there.

Jim could make a really crude joke right about now, but it's so obvious that it's not really worth it, so he doesn't bother. "He's that bad, or you're that good?" he asks instead, arching an eyebrow.

"I'm that good, Kirk."

It's amazing how she makes that statement sound like a threat. Even when that doesn't make any sense. She straightens up after a moment before pointing over to the area that's going to be in his size.

"Take a look there and see if anything looks interesting to you. Maybe a garter belt? And if you're not into lacy, look for something sheer. You'd definitely pull that off. I'm going to see about finding you a corset."

Though she won't be leaving Jim by himself for long. When she comes back it's with a buccaneer style corset in a fine goldenrod hue with black inlays and ties. It's not a far cry from the shade of gold he's most well known for and the style of the garment won't be hindered by his lack of a woman's chest.

What has he gotten himself into, anyway? She's taking this seriously enough that Jim feels fairly confident she's not going to try to hoodwink him into wearing something totally ridiculous, though. As if he'd fall for something like that anyway.

He browses through the racks, passing over the less tasteful items right off the bat, looking for something that'll catch his eye. There's plenty of hosiery to choose from, although he finds himself sidetracked with some sheer silk sashes when Natasha finally reappears with... wow, that is a pretty sexy thing, isn't it? "Nice," he says appreciatively, looking it over. "You really do have an eye for this."

He asked for help on impressing his boyfriend for their anniversary. Natasha is helping. Not that Jim really needs to make himself more attractive and enticing for seducing someone into bed, but it's their anniversary. Hunter's always been worrying after Jim since Natasha's known him. He deserves something nice.

And Something Nice is exactly what she's going to wrangle Jim into getting.

"Helps that you're easy to dress." She bumps Jim's hip with her own before looking at the selection he's sifting through. "You'd look nice in thigh highs."

It's mostly the not-a-threat thing that has him wondering, but fortunately it doesn't look like he's got anything to worry about. Natasha is good at this. She's even found his colors on something that isn't tacky as shit.

Jim grins at the hip-bump, and pulls a small selection off the shelf, inspecting the various patterns on offer. "I've got the legs for it," he agrees. "Slinky, sexy, what's not to love? I'm thinking maybe with that garter belt," he says, nodding towards one of the less frilly models.

You'll get used to that in time, Jim. It's part of hanging out with Natasha. Never quite being sure when she's joking or when she's threatening. They often have the same voice. He should introduce her to Uhura sometime and see if she can tell the difference.

"Good, yes. Now all we need..." She glances up at Jim out of the corner of her eye. "We need to get you some underwear. If you wear all of this and then your regulation boxer briefs I will find you."

Jim's eyebrows shoot up and he is very, very tempted to ask her, 'Or what?' But you know what, he's not sure he actually wants to hear the answer to that, because there probably is an or-what that she has in mind already.

"What, you don't think I could pull it off?" he asks instead with a roguish grin. He's mostly kidding, Natasha. Mostly.

"I think something would get pulled off all right."

If he wastes an opportunity like this he won't have again then he's crazy. She settles on a disgruntled frown letting him know he's gotten to her and giving him the win if that's what he's looking for.

"I'm going to go find something for me. You get what you like and let me know if you need help trying it all on. I've worn more than my fair share of this kind of thing." Though Natasha does have the figure most of this clothing was designed to accentuate and she's going to make the most of it.

A red and black corset that definitely looks to have been steampunk inspired, a pair of black vertical stripe thigh high stockings, and a skimpy set of red and blank underthings later and Natasha is smirking to herself while she moves to slip her high heels back on outside the dressing room. Good range of motion even in these. Stockings have an advantage to tights because they don't restrict her legs any when she needs to move. Considering most of her fighting style is based on using her opponent's momentum against them and her own flexibility, she needs to have that even in something like this.

Frankly, anyone she gets in a thigh lock while she's dressed like this should be honored to get choked out by her.

It's not so much a win that he's after, not over her, anyway. The whole idea of having an anniversary in the first place is still weird and novel, and honestly doesn't feel quite real. These things happen to other people, but not Jim Kirk. Except, apparently, when it does. He's still trying to wrap his head around that a bit.

He smiles and flashes her a thumbs up before she disappears into the rows upon rows of shapewear, and turns his attention towards actually finding something that'll look good on him. There's a lot of comedic options available, but he ignores them all, narrowing his search to the more serious choices. Something in black, to match the rest of the ensemble... hmm. Yeah, this one'll do. Not his usual kinda thing, but it's not really for him, now is it?

There's a dumb smile threatening to break out on his face as he collects his chosen purchases and heads for the dressing rooms to make sure it all fits right. The thigh-highs and whatnot are easy, but the corset... that's new territory. So many laces to snug up. "Am I doing this right?" Seems like she'd definitely know if he's wearing it stupidly wrong.

"Unlock the door. Let me see."

There's no shame here as she lets herself into Jim's dressing room to see how he's doing. One eyebrow goes up at the sight of the captain bent over trying to straighten out his thigh highs. This was a valuable use of her time, indeed.

"Okay take the corset off. You've got it mostly right, but I'm gonna show you a trick for getting them on alone." When Jim complies Natasha lays it down over one of the benches with the laces facing them. "Make sure everything is laced properly first. Put all your other fun underwear on, then this. with everything already laced all you should have to do is reach behind you and pull them tight before tucking them up underneath like that. Now you try."

No shame for either of them, and Jim certainly doesn't mind the view he's got, either. Committing that image to memory, thank you very much. Confidence is sexy, and Natasha has that in spades, with the way she waltzes in like she belongs there.

His second attempt goes much easier, not needing to fumble around quite as much behind his own back with the laces. "That's tons better, wow."

"You're a flexible guy, it'll work out alright."

Even in heels Natasha isn't tall enough to lean an arm on Jim's shoulder so she settles for bumping his hip with her own again and nodding toward the mirror.

"Not a bad look, Captain. You'd turn quite a lot of heads in that."

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boldygoing - 2018-01-28 04:25 (UTC) - Expand