nexus_crossings | Not all Spring beginnings are nice

It's been some time since the resident rogue made her way to the Plaza to be social, but today seems to be an exception to her recent desire to hide away. In spite of the warm Spring weather, she's dressed in her usual garb sans cloak - linen pants and full-sleeved shirt with embroidery down the outer seams, leather underbust corset, belt full of weapons, and hair pinned up with her unique silver hair pin. No armor today, though, which could well be taken as a sign of progress.

She's quiet for a long while as she paces, debating her words carefully. Her brow furrows and the fingers of her right hand brush through the strands of her hair pin in an obviously nervous manner.

"Spring is a time for new beginnings. A time for casting off the old and welcoming in change." Another pause as she stops in her pacing. "But it's never as easy as all of that. For some, Spring is... hard, a reminder of things now gone rather than a glimmer of hope for what's to come."

A sigh escapes her as she crosses her arms in front of her chest and her gaze settles on nothing in particular in the distance. "Sometimes, you just... need help figuring out what to do. So, the question I pose is this.." She takes a deep breath before focusing more on the crowd in front of her. "How do you cope with loss?"

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Steve's looking much better than he had the last time they saw each other in the Nexus. His old outfit on minus the suit jacket to accommodate for the warmer weather. Amelia's question is one Steve thought about a lot, over the past winter.

He wishes there were an easy answer, but for troubles like this, there never are.

"I keep what I can close to my heart. Remember my home, my friends, my family. I try to live each day so that those people I've been taken from would be proud of me."

Amelia's relief at seeing Steve so full of life again is obvious. He certainly was still a mess when she relented to letting him take care of himself after finding him out on the Plaza. His answer gets a small smile. Always the optimist, isn't he?

"I think they'd be very proud," she assures him. She sure as hell is. He's survived a lot and is doing well in spite of all of his troubles. It's more than many could say about their situations.

Her weight is shifted from one foot to another as she considers how to respond. "I can remember everyone back home, but I'm unsure how to make them proud of me. I haven't exactly done anything here worth note that didn't earn me a lot of scorn." A beat and a small sigh. "Well deserved scorn at that. ...I'm still sorry for, well, you know..."

It really doesn't matter if he tells her to stop apologizing. She's unlikely to ever forgive herself for knocking him off the ladder that day.

Steve doesn't seem to have any lingering upset over the entire affair from the end of the last season. Sometimes people disagree and he knows that's bound to happen. The fact that she stood up for what she believes in....

Sure, he was upset at the time.

But she more than showed him what she was made of afterward when he needed it the most. He knows Amelia is good people, even if they don't always agree in actions.

"Then that just means you have a goal in mind, doesn't it?"

"Ahh..." Of course Steve would figure out that there was something beyond what she'd mentioned. It helps that she's obvious without thinking she is. "Well, yes, but it's a very selfish goal. It's not something that would make my family proud either. They wouldn't understand it and it would probably terrify them that I'm even thinking about it and--"

She cuts herself off suddenly and sighs, reaching her hand back up toward her hair pin again. "Sorry. You're right. Having a goal is important." Not that hers is important to anyone but her, of course.

A beat, and an awkward shift in conversation. "What about you? Do you have something you're working toward?"

"These days? Not so much. The training I had been doing ended up falling through, so I've had a lot of free time on my hands." Steve shakes his head, his expression quite a bit more sober with the topic turned onto him again.

"I guess...I'm trying to find my place here."

"Training?" That piques her interest. She had no idea he was doing any kind of training with someone - a fault of her own, no doubt. "What kind of training?"

Carefully, and with no small amount of worry about doing so, Amelia gently rests a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I'm sure you'll find it. And if you need help? You've got many friends here for you - myself included, if you'll let me."

"Military." Steve says quietly. "Technique. Firearms. Physical."

He'd wanted so badly to be the Steve Rogers everyone knew about. The one everyone expected him to be. He'd have done just about anything to be that person. But it didn't work out. His body just wasn't meant for that kind of training.

"I couldn't handle it, even though I was careful. I'm too weak."

"So find another way to fight."

That's the thing about not being from a version of Earth - Amelia doesn't expect Steve to be anyone but who he's shown himself to be. Steve is a strong, stubborn man in a weak body, but Amelia expects him to not give up without giving it his all. He's got a fire in him that no one else can match and he doesn't back down from a challenge. It's endearing to her, even if it bothers others. She sees his strengths before his weaknesses, because that's what actually matters.

"I'm not talking about being a commander or a strategist, either. If you want to be on the front lines, then there's a way to do it, because you want there to be one." One corner of her lips tugs upward in a smirk. "The Nexus is full of opportunities and I'm certain the one for you is out there - if you're willing to look for it."

What? A little taunting won't hurt if it gets him to stop wallowing ...right?

Not all Spring beginnings are nice

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