+1 "Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me"

[nomoreroom]

So! This wasn't actually what he was expecting, when he opened the kitchen door today. He had an excellent venison burger sitting in the fridge, practically calling his name, but he opened the door to the Hotel kitchen, wouldn't you know it-

A completely alternate dimension. Well isn't that just a fine how do you do?

Now if he were a demon of more basic desires and concrete obvious goals, he'd have shut that door and kept trying it until he got his goddamn burger.

Clearly, though, that wasn't what happened.

Tall, that's what he was, way too tall to not stand out, all limbs and pointed fingers and jagged dagger smile, gleeful as he wandered about the plaza and no doubt scaring the children, if there happened to be any unfortunate enough to be there. Nosy thing too, deer-like ears swiveling this way and that to eavesdrop on any possible conversation in the immediate area.

And when he opened his mouth, the hiss and crackle of an old radio came out with a pop, that voice tinny, gleeful and disquieting.

"Good evenin' folks, fantastic night out, isn't it?

Now, I went about readin' your how to's and what do's and where go's and how so's, but I still got a question for you fine, lovely folks out there.

How many of you beautiful surface citizens came from somewhere a little further south? Don't be shy now, step right up."

Comments

[sweetcandygirl]

Harley smiles. Keeping pace with his movements, and his circling around her. She is very good at playing games.

"Don't think I met her last time."

"Yah? What kinda opportunity?"

[nomoreroom]

"You should meet her! Probably get along with her like two peas in a pod, sweetheart." He finally, finally stopped his circling at length, if only because well, can't do that forever, now can he?

"Workin' for the hotel of course! The rehabilitation center, paragon the damned to paradise. Charlie's the owner, always lookin' for more help down there, always needing one more bright, smiling face in the lobby."

[sweetcandygirl]

"Really don't think I am allowed back. But thanks anyway!"

[nomoreroom]

"You sure? Absolutely sure? I don't remember anyone gettin' kicked out of my Hell. No one leaves The Pentagram, sweetheart! Not alive, anyway. I would of heard it if someone got hauled back out to the surface, I think you should give my Hell a chance."

[sweetcandygirl]

"I gotta a lotta stuff here. People to protect...." Harley grins.

[nomoreroom]

"Sweetheart, if you're looking to extend some charity, I can't think of anything better than teaching the damned how to undamn themselves, can't think of a single thing more rewarding than that!

Besides, not like you'll be there forever! Not with this place," one clawed hand waved about at the plaza, "existing like this! Think of it like voluntourism!"

[sweetcandygirl]

"There is a lot of damned trying to be undamned?" Harley tilts her head.

[nomoreroom]

"There sure are!" Eventually, if he has his way, of course.

"Scads of 'em! Droves! They better be, or else they might be the next to go in the next purge!"

[sweetcandygirl]

"You can purge damned out of Hell? Where do they go?"

[nomoreroom]

"Well that's the rub, sweetheart!" The voice crackles and pops for a moment, the clarity of it diminishing as the hiss of static creeps across it.

"Can't double die, can you? No where else to go, so they don't go anywhere.

They're just gone, darling, like they were never born at all. One little jab from an Exterminator and just like that, you're wiped out from existence forever."

[sweetcandygirl]

Harley tilts head again. The static in that voice reminding her of Arkham.

"Sounds... like pretty sad existence to be wishing for people to be wiped out."

[nomoreroom]

"Well that's why there's the hotel, doll! No one has to get purged if they're good enough to leave!

Pay your dues, prove you're good enough to be released back into society! Like a proper prison should!"

[sweetcandygirl]

"Then why were you so surprised that I was able to leave." Harley grins. "Are you spinning a tall tale?"

[nomoreroom]

"Well of course I'm surprised! I wasn't done yet! How many rehab centers you know let their patients out early?

No one's completed it yet."

[sweetcandygirl]

"Arkham was never able to hold me either. So don't concern yourself with it, too much." Harley smiles.

[nomoreroom]

"Ain't concerned in the slightest, sweetheart, don't you worry about me.

Just means it'll be all the easier to bring a couple friends up for a visit! Nothin' but good news here, ma'am, nothin' but good news!"

[sweetcandygirl]

"Good news is good. Glad you are looking for it..."