+1 "Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me"

[nomoreroom]

So! This wasn't actually what he was expecting, when he opened the kitchen door today. He had an excellent venison burger sitting in the fridge, practically calling his name, but he opened the door to the Hotel kitchen, wouldn't you know it-

A completely alternate dimension. Well isn't that just a fine how do you do?

Now if he were a demon of more basic desires and concrete obvious goals, he'd have shut that door and kept trying it until he got his goddamn burger.

Clearly, though, that wasn't what happened.

Tall, that's what he was, way too tall to not stand out, all limbs and pointed fingers and jagged dagger smile, gleeful as he wandered about the plaza and no doubt scaring the children, if there happened to be any unfortunate enough to be there. Nosy thing too, deer-like ears swiveling this way and that to eavesdrop on any possible conversation in the immediate area.

And when he opened his mouth, the hiss and crackle of an old radio came out with a pop, that voice tinny, gleeful and disquieting.

"Good evenin' folks, fantastic night out, isn't it?

Now, I went about readin' your how to's and what do's and where go's and how so's, but I still got a question for you fine, lovely folks out there.

How many of you beautiful surface citizens came from somewhere a little further south? Don't be shy now, step right up."

Comments

[nomoreroom]

No, Loki is definitely impressive, and that stubborn refusal to drop the smile seems to have him even more intrigued on top of it all. He'll have to keep an eye on this. No one he's met in years, barring one or two exceptions, has been capable of keeping that smile up during a conversation with him.

It's very impressive.

"That's where the old Irish Diplomacy comes in, my friend. Tell a man to go to Hell in such a way that he's lookin' forward to the trip. Mighty tough skill to master, I'll tell you." Now, he'd be lying if he said he didn't know who Loki was, at least when it came to his own world and time. Nothing mentioned of it, but then, that was the main reason he wasn't now pestering the man about his age, at least. He certainly looked young enough, but gods could be as old as the earth and still look like they were thirty.

"Well it'd be awful rude of me to turn you down, sir, awful rude indeed, don't see any reason to say no! I don't have anywhere else to be myself right now.

Mind making a food detour?"

[coldsong]

Loki has a tendency to analyze the potentiality of any new acquaintance, and how they may be useful. With the more innocent baseline humans around the Nexus, it's felt excessively manipulative and unkind to do so, but today? Today is a good day to reflect upon what use a demon might be to Loki, and what use said demon might try to make of him. Today, Trickster-brain may well pay off.

Anyway, the chat has been a fun game so far, pushing boundaries. From Loki's perspective, they're tied right now.

"I had not heard that particular term before," he admits. "But the concept is not unfamiliar."

That's why he worries about Thor, really. He is excessively honest.

Loki nods amiably as his invitation is accepted, and turns to fall into step side-by-side with him. "I don't mind at all. What sort of food do you prefer? I find I have a taste for Midgardian sweets--desserts as prepared by humans--but there is a tremendous variety available."

Based on the teeth, he's guessing Alastor is carnivorous. Just a hunch.

[nomoreroom]

Yeah, no, Alastor was about as innocent as the general population of a maximum security prison for the criminally insane. Not only would Loki be quite in the right to try and consider a way to make lemonade out of this particularly bitter lemon, Alastor no doubt expected as much. Trying to find a way to make the inevitable mutually beneficial, if not mostly beneficial unto himself, was already a work in progress at this point.

Mutual manipulation!

"Excellent way to deal with folks who like tryin' your patience sir, you can learn a lot about it by hangin' around retail stores." He's never met a group of people more adept at telling someone to go fuck themselves in such a fashion that the recipient left them positive reviews in the paper. It was magic.

"Oh I'm not too picky, my friend, not too picky at all! Meat usually hits the spot! I'm more a venison man myself, but I'll take hamburger, steak, pork, chicken- Anything, really! A drink to go with it might not be a bad idea either. You ever drink mint julep, Loki?"

[coldsong]

"Retail," he repeats, as if this is an idea that's never occurred to him. Dear Norns, why hasn't this idea ever occurred to him?? Who is more irritated and beleaguered and put upon than the poorly-paid employee in a retail setting around these particular Midgardian holidays? Who could possibly be more interested in seeing mischief done to the customers and overlords they cannot lash out at overtly?

It's a bit beneath him, but he might just be spending some time tripping people down the escalator at the mall this Black Friday. Sometimes small-time efforts can lead to greater rewards down the line.

"I might just follow your advice there, friend," he says thoughtfully, eyes sparkling.

"I believe there is a steak house. I used to favor venison, myself, but that kind of game isn't as widely served around the Nexus." He glances sideways at him, up at the ears and back down to his face. Not asking, but that makes for an interesting juxtaposition.

"I have not. When I drink I tend to favor wine and mead. I have a naturally high resistance to alcohol; anything I'm going to put in my mouth had best taste good." Mint sounds nice, though.

[nomoreroom]

"You can learn an awful lot from the poor suckers on the bottom, lemme tell you that!" He left that there though. Tell him if you go and visit the mall, Loki, he will definitely want to be there for that.

"No? Shoot, why not? Not a lot of big game around here? I'm not gonna complain, food is food, my friend, but a man's got preferences." He... says... nothing about the ears, the antlers, or anything else related to that. It is a very interesting juxtaposition, one some people might find unsettling. And one that Alastor clearly wasn't going to elaborate on.

"Sir, you haven't lived until you've tried a mint julep. If you want only the best past your lips, you'll want to give a good old fashioned mint julep a try. Bit out of season for it, more of a summer drink, but hey, it's summer somewhere, right?"

[coldsong]

Well, he'll have to leave the Nexus for an adjoining world, but that's nothing new. Oh, he may as well plan on it, at least for one day, to see if he gets any feedback from it. It will be an experiment. And an entertainment.

"Within the Nexus itself? Surprisingly, there's quite a lot of game in the Wilds," he says. "I'm not sure any of it's as easily pinned down by species as 'deer'. Given how so many worlds meet here, I imagine there is some genetic intermingling to be found in any wild creature that dwells and breeds here. I have seen a few deerlike creatures with tusks and pink fur, for example."

He shrugs. That doesn't necessarily mean there aren't Midgardian deer around, too, but Loki doesn't really hunt these days. Too busy, and blood sport was never his favorite pastime. "My guess would be there is simply too little demand and too much variation in the quality of the supply."

"I do like mint," he hums. "One of the bars, perhaps? There are a few that serve decent food."