+1 "Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me"

[nomoreroom]

So! This wasn't actually what he was expecting, when he opened the kitchen door today. He had an excellent venison burger sitting in the fridge, practically calling his name, but he opened the door to the Hotel kitchen, wouldn't you know it-

A completely alternate dimension. Well isn't that just a fine how do you do?

Now if he were a demon of more basic desires and concrete obvious goals, he'd have shut that door and kept trying it until he got his goddamn burger.

Clearly, though, that wasn't what happened.

Tall, that's what he was, way too tall to not stand out, all limbs and pointed fingers and jagged dagger smile, gleeful as he wandered about the plaza and no doubt scaring the children, if there happened to be any unfortunate enough to be there. Nosy thing too, deer-like ears swiveling this way and that to eavesdrop on any possible conversation in the immediate area.

And when he opened his mouth, the hiss and crackle of an old radio came out with a pop, that voice tinny, gleeful and disquieting.

"Good evenin' folks, fantastic night out, isn't it?

Now, I went about readin' your how to's and what do's and where go's and how so's, but I still got a question for you fine, lovely folks out there.

How many of you beautiful surface citizens came from somewhere a little further south? Don't be shy now, step right up."

Comments

[brother_alone]

Why did you want us to die, Big Brother?

Why do you hate us?

Why didn't you come save us, Joshua?

We were supposed to be together forever. A family.

Their nails splinter and leak pus and rot unseen over Joshua's clothes as they dig into his shoulders. Their vile whispers coil around the young man's heart and squeeze it in their vicelike grip.

"My negligence killed my sisters." Why didn't you save us big Brother? Why did you want us to die?! "They suffered because of me. Starved because of me. Stuck alone in a cave to die--"

Maggots are spilling from their mouths now and still they whisper and the insects wriggle and writhe on Joshua's shoulders and none of it is real and yet it is. Because this spirit is making it real for Josh. Tapping into his mental illness and feeding him hallucinations. Auditory, visual. A prison he can't escape.

Why did you do it?

"I....I didn't mean..." Excuses. Why? Why Big Brother? Why? Josh wants to sob the answer but he doesn't have the strength left. He raises empty green eyes to Alastor and swallows his reasons. "Because I"m a monster. And all a monster is good for is hurting others."

[nomoreroom]

"Let 'em waste away, huh?" He switched his attention constantly from either specter, to the miserable boy, letting the poor thing wallow in his own self loathing and agony as he mulled over his options here.

"Shoved 'em right in huh?" Yes he'd pick, why wouldn't he? Judging from how absolutely distraught the young man was, he was going to guess the answer was 'no', but still!

"Or you might as well have?

Well.

That's not so bad.

People have done worse than not care. Being careless ain't a sin now is it?"

[brother_alone]

Joshua's used to people taking his side. People who don't know better, who think he's someone he's not. People who don't have to see what he's done to his sisters, the most important people in his life. He hates it, every time. It's not your fault. You couldn't have known. What if you'd gone with? You'd be dead too.

Alastor doesn't do that.

Joshua takes the blame and this creature lets him. It doesn't feel good, no. But it feels necessary. Finally, there's someone who sees Joshua for what he is and not what people wish he was instead. Someone who sees the monster lurking underneath Josh's skin. Or at least, if he doesn't, he's willing to say he does to see what happens.

"I hurt other people too. Lots. The people I blamed for my sisters' deaths because I didn't want to blame myself. There's folks I don't even know dead--killed by the guy I worked for and I helped him do it. I'm a part of all this...terrible shit. That's got to be a sin."

[nomoreroom]

Spooling all these crime confessions out of him with hardly any effort, one might think Alastor was playing the part of a confessional here.

Well, sort of!

Not in any manner that was going to end constructively however.

"Well son, being stupid isn't a sin!

But helping someone murder folks, well. That's a different story altogether, isn't it?" He wasn't going to argue with Joshua's logic at all here.

But beating him with it didn't seem terribly necessary either.

"So you hurt a lot of people, your sisters are dead, and you helped out a murderer. Shoot, kid, you're on a fast track right to the pit, aren't you?" There's a bark of static laden laughter.

"Nothing you can do for it now! You're damned no matter what road you try to take!

Let me tell you something, personal lesson here, kiddo, listen up: At a certain point, you'll just have to accept you won't ever be any good at being good. Does that make sense? You'll try and you'll try, and that won't ever be enough, and you'll have dug yourself so far down you can hear all of Hell scratching at the bedrock for you.

Why bother crying over spilled milk, huh? Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Why not have some fun with being a monster? Since you don't have a choice anymore in being one, right?"

[brother_alone]

Joshua's needed to say these things aloud for so long but no one wanted to hear them. He doesn't feel free to have them out in the open now. But he does feel vindicated. As though he's finally sure of anything when it comes to his own messed up head.

And Alastor speaks the truths he's whispered to himself for so long.

He's no good at being good. No matter how hard he tries--and he does try, so very very hard--he's always going to be a monster. The Joshua Washington everyone wants him to be is just one more lie he made up to try and fit in. It's not who he is. It's never been him at all. The man who cheerfully whistled to himself as he chloroformed his sister's old flame and one of his best friends just to make her see him as the villain he already saw himself as...that's who he is.

The man who made his best friend choose between his life and the girl that was coming between their time together. The man who recorded their very real terror and suffering with intentions to put it online just to make them all hate him even a fraction of the amount he hated himself before he ended everything.

How could Joshua Washington ever think he could be anyone else? Why does he feel so afraid that Alastor sees him the way he's always felt when he looked into a mirror?

"...You're right."