nexus_crossings | It's Called Brand Loyalty

Look who is out shopping, too! Adia is bundled up in a soft green peacoat, peering at the items on the table of a colorful holiday stall. She's admiring lapel pins, one in particular, when she hears a familiar voice.

"Hi, Harrowheart." She smiles at him warmly, although there's a bit of fidgeting with her scarf while she listens to his question. "I think it depends on what you're trying to change. If you change yourself too much, then the life you live won't be very authentic, even if it's what you thought you wanted."

Edited 2018-12-09 23:34 (UTC)

Harrowheart watches Adia with a slight, soft smile. "Adia, now, you of all people know what I'm tryin' to change. I want to be better by everyone else's standards. I want 'normal.' But I knew my old normal for so long that when I find real normal, it don't sit right. The more I work for that, the more I realize how different I'm becomin'. I can't tell if it scares me, or if I just... Miss how easy it was to do what comes natural."

Or the power of it. But he can't say that to Adia. Not when she's already fidgeting like that. There's enough on her mind without fretting over a friend she hopes is getting better, after all.

Yes, she knows. Or had hoped, anyway. "It's good to hear it from you," she says gently. "And I'm proud of you for trying. But I get why it feels scary. When we change, we have to give up the things we used to rely on. Even if they didn't always work, they at least felt like they did..."

One of her hands reaches up to rub the back of her head. It's a subconscious gesture, just like the scarf fidgeting, and when she catches herself doing it, she shoves both hands into her pockets.

"It's better to be scared than ignore your feelings. Trust me, that really doesn't work..."

Edited 2018-12-10 17:59 (UTC)

Something Adia says furrows Harrowheart's brow. "You say that like you've been there before. What's on your mind, Adia?"

Adia ducks her gaze sheepishly. "That obvious, huh?" she says with a soft laugh. She doesn't want to make this conversation about her problems, not when Harrowheart is looking for answers, but... well, maybe making an example of herself will help.

"I was thinking about the situation with my moon rune," she explains, looking up at him once more. "After what happened with Nyarlahotep, I was trying to just... lay low, spiritually speaking. I'd light a candle for Artemis, but otherwise I stopped listening to my rune. It was easier to pretend I was... "normal", for lack of a better word. Y'know? It was summertime, and then the Harvest, and we were busy on Atlantis, so..."

She sighs, hands digging further into her pockets. "But gods still found me. Weird coincidences and other people's emotions kept finding me, even on Atlantis. It was pointless trying to ignore it. And I realized that if I didn't try to take control of my changes, they'd take control of me. So, I guess that's what I was getting at."

Edited 2018-12-16 17:54 (UTC)

Adia mentions the moon rune and Harrowheart looks at her forehead as if he expects to physically see it. Of course he doesn't, and his eyes are back on hers in the span of a few seconds.

"The gods found you? What do you mean by 'weird coincidences'?"

He leans in as he waits for the answer, concerned before he even has a chance to hear what she's going to say.

"Yes. Here, in the Nexus. Have you met Thor or Loki yet? They're gods from the Norse pantheon. They're, um..." Her brow furrows. "They're very... corporeal. I don't know how else to describe it. They aren't the kind of gods who appear as visions or in an avatar form. They walk around as themselves."

She sighs and adds, "They're both very nice... well, Thor is nice. Loki is actively trying not to be cruel to me, which is a kind of nice, and I deeply appreciate it. But anyway, it's the fact that I ran into them at all that shook me up a little."

As for the weird coincidences, this gets another sheepish look. "Just... weird stuff happens to me on Atlantis sometimes. I find things on the first try, or I get a funny feeling about something that comes true. If I was from a world like yours, it'd make more sense, but it's not like we have magic, or..."

Or what? She was so sure for the longest time that the gods on her world either didn't exist or were too distant to make a difference. So why does she feel that strange magnetic pull towards the moon, even on Atlantis?

"Hey, Harrowheart..." She frowns pensively, remembering a recent conversation that touched on this very topic. "I was talking to Zandros at Viatorus' wedding, and he said that most humans on Azeroth don't believe that Elune is a goddess. Is that true?"

"Thor? Loki? Here? In the Nexus?" Gods? Wandering around a place like this? And Adia describes them as corporeal. It's a complicated word, but he knows it. They take human forms. They could be anyone, then. It's silly that he feels the need to look at the people around them, but he can't fight the urge.

"Sounds like you're turnin' psychic or somethin'?" He starts to say more, but Adia goes and says that asshole's name and he huffs, "Zandros."

Harrow looks away momentarily to collect himself. Adia asked an honest question and she deserves an attempt at an answer. He sighs away his tension and slowly shakes his head.

"No, we don't. Lotta humans don't even know Elune exists. I sure didn't before I left Westfall, and I sure never thought much of her before I met one of her people. Even the humans that know she exists don't believe she's a goddess. Some humans turned worgen do, but not all of 'em. But god, goddess... Those sorta words are different where I come from. Way most of us figure it, everything's mortal. Gods can die. Humans ain't likely to worship somethin' that can die. Even if any old human believed she was real, they'd probably think she was just some powerful magical bein'. Nothin' Forever like a god or a goddess."

His mouth shifts side to side and he winces as he admits, "Sometimes I ain't so sure myself, and I've seen her do miracles."

But the memory of the paladin brings him a renewed focus and he swiftly demands, "But what'd Zandros say about her? Tell me the truth so I can know just how bad I gotta whup his ass."

"A little psychic," she says softly. She twists the ends of her scarf around her fingers, obviously not thrilled with the idea. Considering the source of the rune, she can't help but think of Micolash in his head cage. It's an uncharitable and selfish thought, but she very much does not want to end up like that. The rune is a blessing, but even blessings can turn to curses if they aren't handled with care.

Her friend's irritated tone makes her raise her eyebrows in surprise. Harrowheart doesn't like Zandros? But then why did he...?

She puts that thought on hold, listening to his explanation. "No, he said pretty much the same thing," she replies when he's done. "His opinion is that Elune is a Naaru, a kind of alien? He didn't say anything bad about her." No, what bothered her was his dismissive tone of her believers. She's surprised to hear her friend's doubt, though, and instinctively she reaches out to take his floating hands. "Harrowheart, listen. She talked to me, in the Nightmare. If she's not a goddess, then she's like absolutely no other alien or magical being I've ever met. She deserves our faith in her."

That out of the way, she turns her mind back to Zandros. This isn't exactly the time or the place for it, but when else is she going to get a chance to ask? "Why did you introduce him to Isidor's family, Harrowheart? He's... he's not a bad person, but... gosh, he's so sanctimonious. If he has so many hang-ups about believing in gods, how is that going to work for him, marrying into a family that actively worships them?"

Edited 2018-12-21 15:55 (UTC)

"A Naaru?" Harrow balks. His brows press together and he snorts, "Elune ain't a Naaru! I've seen Naaru! I've been right by 'em! And there ain't a Naaru out there that could do what I saw Elune do!"

The utter blasphemy riles him up enough that by the time Adia speaks about her experiences with Elune, he's ready to listen. "You're right," he says. "Even if she's--" But he stops abruptly and can't bring himself to say it. Even if she's not a goddess. How can he admit his doubts and be unable to express them fully at the same time?

"She's here for us."

That's what matters.

And that's when the fire of his enthusiasm and defiance starts to die. Adia asks a question he hadn't expected to hear from anyone, least of all her. He'd forgotten that she knows about his feelings for her. To be reminded like this...

"Adia?" he asks. "If there was a power out there that Caspar couldn't fight against -- One that was stronger than him, bigger than him, and would hurt you if folks didn't obey it -- and it told you that you were gonna be married off to some other breather man of its choosin'... Don't you think Caspar would try and make sure you got the best man he could find for you? The Archon and his wife were gonna marry Isidor off no matter what, and they wanted a man from my world. I just... Tried to help 'em find the least worst man I could."

Okay, okay. Maybe it was bad for Zandros to compare Elune to a Naaru, although benevolent aliens who wield that Light don't sound that terrible to her.

At least she's made it clear to Harrowheart about what she believes. She can hear the turmoil of his own faith, but that only increases the connection she feels with him. It's easy for her to accept gods of other worlds, but when it comes to her own, she is caught in the same struggle. She doubts, but she doesn't. She wants to put her faith in them, but how can she, when they never seem to show themselves?

She wishes she had better answers for him. Definitive evidence. But that's not how faith works.

And anyway, the conversation has moved on to Zandros himself. She listens to Harrowheart with wide, sympathetic eyes. "They asked you to...? Oh, Harrowheart..." She sighs, gaze averted as she lets the situation sink in. "I don't know what Caspar would do... but he'd want me to be happy."

She picks at her scarf, brow furrowed. She has no idea that Isidor has feelings for Harrowheart, too, so in her mind, this the painful result of a one-sided crush.

"He's not... I mean, he's a good choice for her in some ways... but he's going to get in real trouble if he isn't more careful about how he handles other people's beliefs."

Edited 2018-12-22 20:05 (UTC)

"And who's supposed to tell him that? Me? If things don't work out between the two of them, that don't bother me none. But... Then I get to worryin' that whoever they pick to replace him could be so much worse, and that person might be here to stay. Zandros puts me in such a bad spot. I don't like him, but sometimes I do? I don't want him around, but I gotta make sure he stays."

Harrow rubs at his forehead and shakes his head. "I try to get along with him the best I can. I think he tries to get along with me, too? And sometimes it works? But sometimes it don't. If it weren't for the whole reason he's here, I feel like him and me could be good friends? But he knows how I feel. Not 'cause I told him or nothin', just... You know I ain't very good at hidin' my feelings. I think he's waitin' for me to let go and stop fightin'. And I know in my head I should, but I'm not ready to harden my heart when I'm tryin' hard to be a better person."

A small sigh and he says, "It's like with Elune. I got a truth in my heart and doubts in my head, and they mix like oil and water."

"No, that's not your responsibility," Adia says quickly, not wanting Harrowheart to feel burdened with keeping Zandros in line on top of everything else. Otherwise, she stays silent and lets her friend get out all of his thoughts. It's not that much of a surprise that the paladin is aware of Harrowheart's feelings towards Isidor, but she winces a little bit anyway. That does make things more awkward...

What does surprise her is that they get along at all. "That's hard," she agrees softly. A pause, and then she gives him what she hopes is a comforting smile. "For what it's worth, you'll handling it a lot better than Caspar would. He can't stand him."

Harrow can't help the little smile that creeps across his face. "Caspar don't like him? Well, shoot, I can't imagine why."

He winks, and it seems as if he'll end the conversation there, but after a moment of calm silence he presses, "No, really. Tell me what he said, I'm dyin' to know."

His request gets a small, almost scandalized giggle out of her. "You really should ask him yourself, but..." She sighs and folds her arms across her chest. "Oh, where to start? He thinks he's clueless. Judgmental, although you know, Caspar can be that way sometimes, too..."

She thinks back to their conversation in the receiving line and her smile dims. "If there's one that Caspar hates, it's being patronized. And another is having people he cares about get their feelings hurt. Zandros managed to do both, so... no, he doesn't think much of him at all."

"Clueless, judgmental, patronizin'... Yeah, we're talkin' about the same guy." But she looks legitimately upset as she continues, and Harrow listens with intense concern.

"Whose feelings did he hurt? Did he talk bad to you, Adia?..."

She shakes her head quickly in response. "No, no, not at all." Her expression turns slightly horrified. "Gods, can you imagine if he had? I don't want to think about how Caspar would react to that."

Taking a breath, she sighs and untwists the ends of her scarf. "When he was first in the Nexus, he judged a friend of ours very harshly for what she was wearing. And then did the same to another friend of ours who --" She blinks. "Oh, wait, you've met Hunter, haven't you? You helped him with the curse he was under..."

Well. If you can call chasing a goddess into the woods while in worgen form "helping".

"Anyway, I don't know if you noticed, but without his piercings and tattoos, he looks an awful lot like Zandros. And I think that really bothers him. Which in turn made Hunter feel terrible."

Harrow scoff-laughs and nods at mentions of Caspar. Yeah, he can visualize it. He may even enjoy doing so! But judging someone for what they're wearing? He honestly has to stop and think a moment when she confronts him with that. He's done that before himself, hasn't he? And he's been judged for his outfits.

He's lost in his thoughts when she brings up Hunter.

"Is that his name? Hunter? Shoot, well, now I know. Didn't know him from Uther when I found him like that, but it didn't seem right to let a man suffer. Did notice he sure looked a lot like Zandros, though. He was all flickerin' between forms. I figured it was just the Nexus fuckin' around with me. Guess now I know it's the Nexus fuckin' with Zandros." He looks up and kisses the air. For the Nexus~

"Figure it would bother him, though. He seems like the kinda guy who'd cut himself shavin' and go around wearin' a bag over his head cause he felt too ugly to be seen." Another huffy laugh.

And then his joy fades to thoughtfulness, and he can't help coming back around to what his friend had said earlier. "Adia?" he asks. "What's wrong about him judgin' someone's clothes, though? I mean, your friend chose to wear 'em, right? And ain't it fair to judge other people's choices? Folks judge me for my choices, and usually for a good reason. And I think Caspar'd judge someone for a bad outfit, since he dresses smart all the time."

"That's the first time that you met him?" She smiles, proud of her friend for helping a Nexus stranger. And he did help. All seven pieces of magic were returned, which means things must have gone smoothly and didn't somehow devolve into Harrowheart pissing off a goddess and fighting giant spiders while Palmer did all the hard work.

No, of course not. That'd be silly!

She hides a smile behind her hand when he kisses the air, followed by a giggle at the bag-over-the-head description. Despite being a death knight, Harrowheart has a real knack for lightening the mood. "I hope he gets over it. Hunter is so kind, he's a good person to have as a friend."

Her expression also turns thoughtful, when he asks his question. "Caspar does judge others for what they wear sometimes," she agrees reluctantly. "But... I don' know, I think there's a difference between deciding that someone makes bad fashion choices versus them being a bad person. Y'know?" She twists at her scarf again. "Or seeing someone you think is unattractive and then deciding that they should be pitied for it. That's not how it works here, and... you know, as much as Zandros may believe it, I don't think it works that way on Azeroth, either."

Edited 2018-12-29 19:53 (UTC)

Harrow tips his head and hums uncertainly while he considers Adia's final theory.

"I think..." he slowly begins, "It does work that way on Azeroth. You see another person, you know all the most important things about 'em already. Are they the same race as me? If they ain't, do they wear the same colors as me? Could they hurt me, or could I hurt them? One look at someone tells you what they do, or what you figure they might do. He looks at me, he sees a death knight, and he knows what that means. I look at him, I see a nobleman, and I know what that means."

He scratches idly at one sideburn. "But maybe Azeroth's just a bad place. We solve all our problems all the wrong ways. Maybe we make 'em for the wrong reasons, too."

He pats Adia's shoulder and smiles for her. "Try and convince him of it sometime, maybe? I'd be grateful if someone could change his princess attitude someday."

It's disappointing to hear, but Harrowheart makes a compelling argument. And what has she seen of Azeroth so far except some angry zombies and an abandoned village? Life is dangerous there. Judging at first sight is more than a social convenience, it's a survival skill.

Still, she wishes things could be different. And it makes her feel better that Harrowheart is encouraging her to put that wheel into motion.

"I'll try," she promises, her smile returning. "I think between life on Earth and the Nexus, he's going to have to change either way." Checking the time on her PINpoint, she jerks her head back towards the direction she came in. "I need to finish my holiday shopping before anyone notices I'm not at the lab. I'll see you later."

She gives her friend a quick hug goodbye before heading off into crowd.

It's Called Brand Loyalty

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