nexus_crossings | Winter tithe

Although the Nexus is generally well kept, this year its inhabitants are a fraction more careful about keeping the paths clear of snow. As if by pushing the mound of white powder to the side they will stop the Nexus from being buried like last year. But as with all places lacking an organised effort, the clearance is patchy. Where some people have thrown out dirt or salt to clear the paths outside of their homes or houses, an equal number haven't. Ice sits perfectly clear over stone and concrete, or hidden under the thinnest layer of snow. All of it a precarious balance of mortal awareness and a Winter spirit's work.

This is one of the few times Reynard walks freely in his human form through the streets. Occasionally someone will recognise him and hasten to take care of their home or pull gloves onto their hands. Most people don't, however. Such is the nature of the Nexus, in a place filled with so many people they don't seem to be able to point to the person encouraging their troubles, even if he has proclaimed it from the rooftops. Once he's done admiring the hard work of some and punishing the negligence of others, he ends up in the centre of the Nexus.

Leaning against a lamp post, he takes his hat from his head, inspecting it briefly before address those passing by. "What are you leaving in the past this year?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The past is always relevant. It sits in the back of the mind, present even when silent. No matter how focused on the present and future a person is, there is always a little part of them remembering. That's how choices are made: By remembering and learning from the past.

And so the Season of Death and Ghosts and Memory is always bound to strike a nerve. Reynard's quite used to it by now. He has all the patience in the world for those thinking back.

He's casual when he asks. Blank as a fresh sheet of snow. "How is that? By taking it with you?"

"By remembering what I've done, and using that to guide me in the present. Accepting I can't change what's already happened. Learning from my choices, both good and bad."

There are a lot more things in the second category than the first. While Ben has decided that the darkness in his past won't stop him from living here, or finding a place for himself, it still weighs heavy. He can't kill Kylo Ren completely - while he rejects the name and the persona, what he did as Kylo will forever be a part of him. That's one of the things he accepts, even as he struggles to make healthier choices and keep darker impulses in check. He can heal, and try to do good here, but he cannot undo the things he did.

"So yes, I take it with me. It's a hard burden, but that's part of living. You grow and learn from your mistakes. Especially the most painful, the most terrible ones."

"That's a lot you're taking with you." None of it bad, either. More people should keep the past in mind. More again should learn from it. Speaking of the virtues of memory and lessons seems like it would be preaching to the choir with this man, and Reynard would wholeheartedly agree. But that's not what he's looking for today. "With all these things you're taking into the future, what are you leaving behind?"

"You're right. There are a few things I'm leaving behind." Ben can't hold back a quiet laugh, though it's more bitter than anything. "My personality, for one thing. I was a nightmare. My temper, for another, though you know how old habits can be."

He offers a hand to the stranger. "My name's Ben Solo. I'm a newcomer."

Eyeing the offered hand, it's hard not to think how obvious it is that this man is new to the Nexus. People tend to offer Reynard a hand once and avoid it afterwards. Still, he raises his eyes to the man and clasps his hand around the other's, the burning iciness is enough to make skin start to stick to his gloves. "Reynard North."

He gives one firm shake before his hand falls back to his side, though he's firmly focused on his new acquaintance's face. "Do you think you'll be disappointed if it turns out you can't get rid of the things you hope to get rid of?"

The cold is surprising, and that's when Ben starts to suspect that Reynard isn't human, though he doesn't voice that. He knows from meeting Nike that not everyone in the Nexus who looks human is.

"Some of them can be...repurposed, if I need them." Ben's sure that his infamous temper and viciousness might be useful if he's ever in a serious fight, for example, and if he's careful to aim them at the enemy. "If I can't change things completely, I'll try and hold them in check. Self-control. Discipline."

Reynard takes this answer in before turning his head to Ben curiously. "Do you think you have control over things like that? Rage, emotion. Is that something you think you can fight within yourself?"

"I suppose I'll find out." Ben shrugs in reply. "Well, I'm better at self-control than I used to be, if that's the question you're asking. It's a matter of choosing to be better every day, and making better choices."

"Be prepared. You'll think that being better every day is the hardest part, and then something will shake your world. That's when you'll find out if you've changed at all. Mastering emotions is no small feat."

Ben raises an eyebrow, curious and just a little intimidated. That's a ominous statement to hear from a stranger - and, given he's figured out Reynard isn't human, he wonders exactly what he is.

"We'll both have to see if I'm ready when that day comes, I figure."

Old. Reynard is old. Ben is not the first and won't be the last young man trying to wrestle his emotions under control. Even Reynard had to learn that lesson. Had to watch others try, succeed, fail... He'll help where he can, but at the end of it all, it's a test that can only be weathered by one person.

It takes him a minute to respond, as if it takes him that time to decide which words he should be saying. "You'll have to tell me how it goes. I'd like to see you succeed."

"Thank you, Mr. North. I'd like to succeed, too, and when something does happen I'll remember this conversation." A short, quick bow of respect, and a sincere smile. "I hope I don't disappoint either of us."

Even though Ben's still unsure who and what Reynard is, and certainly doesn't quite trust him (it's nothing personal - he doesn't give out his trust lightly), he chooses to take the encouragement at face value. He's been given no reason to suspect anything else.

Winter tithe

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