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nexus_crossings2020-05-07 02:49 am
highfunctioning_sociopath) wrote in nexus_crossings2020-05-07 02:49 am
Disquiet
Sherlock has been here about a month. He's more or less kept to himself, except when he's had to go out to get something to eat. It took about five days to settle in a bit and stop fighting the question if he was dreaming or not. He didn't like accepting that this wasn't a drug-induced high or that he was stuck in his mind palace. In the end, it helped that no one he recognised was here. After all, in his mind palace, there was always at least one person he knew.
But, it took that long because either of those options were preferable to the truth: he was in some weird alternate reality with no way home. Well, unless he found whatever door he had stumbled through to get here. And, he wasn't sure he wanted to go back. All that waited for him back there were recovery and facing the loss of Mary. Culverton Smith had been a fantastic distraction from the horror that it was his fault that Mary died. (Even if John told him it wasn't, he shouldn't have pushed Vivian.) It was a reality he didn't want to face. Yet, even here, the grief and guilt would sneak up on him.
It's why it was better to avoid people than be around them. Well, that, and the strange person who acted like she knew him so well and she didn't know him at all. That was... troubling. And he kept a look-out for her every time he did wander out. He hadn't decided what to make of her yet. So avoidance of that was the best possible answer. Still, he needed money. And while in theory, he understood the PIN devices, he wasn't sure they worked quite like the internet back home.
So, he's sitting on a bench in the plaza, next to a sign, which reads:
Sherlock Holmes,
the world's only consulting detective.
This is what I do:
1. I observe everything.
2. From that, I deduce everything.
3. Once I've eliminated the impossible,
whatever remains,
must be the truth.
But, that was really just attention seeking. He has a question of his own. So whenever anyone ventures close enough to read the sign, he allows for general introductions and eventually asks: "How do you live with yourself, if a vow you failed to keep led to the death of your friend?"
But, it took that long because either of those options were preferable to the truth: he was in some weird alternate reality with no way home. Well, unless he found whatever door he had stumbled through to get here. And, he wasn't sure he wanted to go back. All that waited for him back there were recovery and facing the loss of Mary. Culverton Smith had been a fantastic distraction from the horror that it was his fault that Mary died. (Even if John told him it wasn't, he shouldn't have pushed Vivian.) It was a reality he didn't want to face. Yet, even here, the grief and guilt would sneak up on him.
It's why it was better to avoid people than be around them. Well, that, and the strange person who acted like she knew him so well and she didn't know him at all. That was... troubling. And he kept a look-out for her every time he did wander out. He hadn't decided what to make of her yet. So avoidance of that was the best possible answer. Still, he needed money. And while in theory, he understood the PIN devices, he wasn't sure they worked quite like the internet back home.
So, he's sitting on a bench in the plaza, next to a sign, which reads:
Sherlock Holmes,
the world's only consulting detective.
This is what I do:
1. I observe everything.
2. From that, I deduce everything.
3. Once I've eliminated the impossible,
whatever remains,
must be the truth.
But, that was really just attention seeking. He has a question of his own. So whenever anyone ventures close enough to read the sign, he allows for general introductions and eventually asks: "How do you live with yourself, if a vow you failed to keep led to the death of your friend?"
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Because if Lucifer is going to expect him to believe that, well, no, he can't. That's a bridge too far even for me. Sherlock huffs at the bit about arrogance and pride. "Oh I believe you have losses more than most care to count, can't imagine having heaven and losing it. I, however plan to correct my wrongdoing."
Doesn't mean he forgives himself, though. He knows what he did wrong and has put plans in place to not do that again.
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Lucifer considers what he has said for a long time. "I do not miss heaven, the creation that is part of me yes, but not heaven." Lucifer shrugs. "I am not materialistic enough to crave a place in that way."
The words felt strange to say but he lets the feeling pass with a smile. "I do not believe I did wrong but I have begun to heal the gulf between my kind and those still in heaven, much to God's disappointment. I am sure he disproves of my methods, but I am used to that response."
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Sherlock knows what it is to lose. And in some ways, what it is to give up everything to save those he cares about. And this conversation is making him realise he's more of a believer than he thought possible. Well, that's something at least.
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Lucifer shook his head. "I have a more important task now than to be a servant God can use, as he does my brother." Not that he is fond of Michael, hates him probably, but he does realize that his counterpart is not free to act of his own will. Now that Lucifer considers it, that may be for the best.
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He shakes his head. "I never thought I believed any of that. Maybe I believed it more than I thought, because I can't believe anything you say. 'Prince of Lies' is one of your titles. Well, now I understand why."
He narrows his eyes. No. He won't go there, he's not sure his faith is strong enough for that to work. So, he states something he can say with certainty. "You've run your little test on me and failed."
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"That title." Now Lucifer is laughing from irony and disgust. "It is one many believe, and while I can refrain from speaking, I do not bear falsehood. I may be fallen but I have never stopped being an angel. I still hold to the oaths I pledged when created."
The look he gives Sherlock is an exhausted one. "I was not testing you. I was talking to you as one may talk to any other in conversation. There is much you do not know of me. My interactions with those of faith seems to be among them."
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Sherlock does a lot of play acting himself. If this creature is what he claims, then Sherlock really can't believe anything stated. All of his Sunday School teachings are telling him this conversation should not be entirely trusted. And the lack of Free Will is the biggest one of all. If there's one consistent aspect to all religions it is Free Will. Which tends to all saving actions and destructions in the major world religions.
"Which is interesting, isn't it? Why is great evil easier to believe than great good?"
While spoken out loud, that was something said to himself. A question to ponder and maybe one for another time.
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Lucifer is unsure about these questions at first but then sighs. "As one who demands I must be infinitely evil and false regardless of what may be true, I suspect you are better equipped to answer your question than I am. Why do you insist I must be pure evil without any other reason than being told it is true by someone else?"
Finally, the smile returns to his expression. "I long ago gave up the dichotomy of fallen verses celestial, evil versus good, that has perpetuated war for too long. I prefer to focus on healing the gulf between angels to end the war and see us unified again."
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It's pretty simple. Even Sherlock knew to apologise to John for what he did to the man by faking his death.
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"As I mentioned, I already gave an apology to God and was rejected as shown by being tortured in response to offering it" Still the angel shrugged. "God is unwilling to accept apology to end the strife and so I take the steps myself to make peace. "
Lucifer gives him a queer look and then laughs. "You do know it is an angel of heaven, still celestial and pure, who stands beside me to unify our kin? Forgiveness and an end to strife are occurring between the angels regardless of others still demanding we remain opposed to each other."
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He pauses for a moment, thinking of how to phrase things. "I am quite certain you are not from my universe. Then, does that mean there are multiple gods, or simply multiple stories of the Fall and therefore of Christianity. Based on what I've seen, I'm willing to go from the second."
He has never cared what others think of him and usually intentionally thinks the opposite of what he's told to think.
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The angel looks down, concerned and disappointed "I have met other versions of myself and all but one, so far, I would end myself. They are ..a disappointing lot. The one I did get along with and find honorable is also a creator. I suspect the power needed to create and the act itself requires a mindset that does not promote as much negativity. He ruled Hell and I refused to rule it, so that is not the issue."
He frowns at the idea of God. "There are, I believe, multiple Gods too. Mine is particularly cruel and iron fisted. These qualities are non-existant in the descriptions angels from other creations have given to me."
On this subject Lucifer had been growing his knowledge, out if curioisty perhaps, and preparation in case God came to the Nexus. He needed to know how to approach them safely and keep his people from harm.
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He looks over to Lucifer. “I think he was talking about angels and any other gods that might call themselves god. Time to be moving along, I’m sure you must have something more important to do.”
Why yes, Sherlock did just dismiss the angel.
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Lucifer raises a brow at the dismissal but ignores it. This is probably not the best way to remove the rebellious from your presence. "I have billions of years behind me and billions of years yet to go. I have learned to appreciate conversation, especially when it is with a mortal who is fleeting by comparison."
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He’s used to easy money. He could do everything he did for little money because every so often a high executive or big business would hire him. Here he doesn’t even have access to his bank accounts it seems.
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He points to his sign. It mostly, he’s bored. He doesn’t think the angel has a case he would take.
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