nexus_crossings | Dating Advice for an Absolute Beginner?

Dating Advice for an Absolute Beginner?

Minoru had spent a good part of the day freerunning. With the American Ninja Warrior qualifiers coming up soon back home, he needed all the training he could get. But really, he did parkour because he loved it. It helped him clear his mind.

Usually, it helped him clear his mind. But not today.

He arrived in the plaza, just as frazzled as he left it hours earlier. He slumped down (upside down) on one of the benches.

“I give up! Does anybody know how dating works?!?”

Because Minoru now had a koibito... err... girlfriend... and a first date he wanted to do something really special for. And the absolute beginner had absolutely no idea where to start.

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Lucifer was out, in fact getting chocolates for his own partner, a regular occurrence to dote on his sweet toothed partner. He thought it was the young man from the cliff that he glimpsed as he walked by but it was the voice and question that stopped him.

He turned slowly and looked down at the upside down human on the bench. "I do not believe there is one way for dating to work. Relationships are very personal."

It wasn't the best answer but it was an honest one from Lucifer's perspective. He had, and did, date people in different ways over time. Probably not unexpected with how long his life has been.

"You sound uncertain or stressed?" He says it but the tone comes out more as a question than a statement.

He glanced up at his friend with a softened expression.

“Yeah... sorry, it’s just that I’ve never done this before. I’ve never even really thought of doing this before. But I’m doing it, and yeah...”

By doing it, Minoru meant simply being in a romantic relationship. While he was asexual, and deep in the part the spectrum that was sex-repulsed, he was actually demiromantic. Something he didn’t even know prior to growing close to Ziggy. And while Minoru had done many things for the first time without even bothering to look where he was going, this, somehow, felt very different.

Lucifer sits on the other end of the bench, pitched sort of sideways so his wings can hang over the arm without being in the way. "If it is any consolation, even I had a first date though that was a long time ago by your standards."

Then his mind goes back to the original question, thoughtfully and quiet for a moment. "At the most basic a date is a way of showing you care enough to know a person. It is more about finding something that will make you happy together, rather than a set rule."

Lucifer had no juagement as he maintained all sorts of relationships over his lifetime, some had been romantic alone without the physical, though that was not what the devil was known for in any creation he had heard about. He motions toward the fancy bag in his hand from one of the high end Nexus chocolatiers. "I am a traditionalist, perhaps by human standards, but I think my brother shows his affection by fighting his partner in a sparring circle. Neither is better or worse. What makes them good choices is that they can be enjoyed equally and together."

“Were you nervous about it too?” He asked about Lucifer’s first date.

The devil’s answer to his original question made him pause.

“A way of showing you care enough to know a person...” he repeated aloud, a bit puzzled. “How’s that any different than what we do every day?”

And that extended well beyond the Anthean he was now dating. Those kind of little touches were everywhere, with patients, friends and family, all in different ways.

Lucifer laughs quietly. "Not about the date but that her father might discover me secreting her away for the date."

Lucifer could only imagine what God would have done if he found him in Eden.

Lucifer considered the question and takes a moment before answering. "I agree that love should be expressed daily but there are things that you cannot do every day.. special foods, flowers, trips, visits, perhaps even having a whole day to spend together alone if you have duties. Dates should be those things that are special and may not be possible on a general day."

Fortunately for Minoru, Tom liked him. Even when he was causing mischief right alongside Ziggy.

"We have our first date coming up. And yeah, I was trying to think of something special to do. I really want to surprise him with something. But I have no idea what to do." he nodded thoughtfully. "Ziggy's already done so much! He got reservations for a really fancy dinner. He's making me a suit to wear, and pretty sure he's making himself something too. We don't even have to walk to the place either. He said we're taking a limo."

"Stardust?" Lucifer questioned though he probably didn't need to be asked. It did explain the overwhelm and confusion the human was enduring. Lucifer had met him once and even he had been given pause by the intensity of energy.

"Small gifts or tokens are appropriate to exchange over dinner." His brows furrowed and curiosity followed. "It may be personal but what gender roles do you, both, fulfill in the relationship? Even if one exists outside of the presentation in body or spirit, preference of role, or combination of roles, may give insight into what may be appropriate in the situation."

Lucifer knew this well. He lived as male and female with his male behaving partner that had no true gender. He had seen a lot of variation of what came out of blending.

Minoru nodded. "Yeah."

Ziggy was definitely intense - in just about every way. Even Minoru, who thought jumping from rooftop to rooftop was like a stroll in the park, paled in comparison energy-wise.

"Ziggy said he likes being the feminine one in relationships. Still not really sure what that all really means... I mean, I know what gender roles are, but not how they work in relation to a relationship?" he shrugged, looking down and away. "I've never stopped to think about what role I'm supposed to fill in one either."

"Feminine things, or those usually given to women, may be worth trying. It would affirm an acceptance of how he sees himself." Lucifer smiled to himself while looking away. "It only has good impact to remind someone you see, looking at them, the same thing they see when they look in the mirror."

Lucifer knew this and it was what made him fall desperately for his own partner. That kind of acceptance didn't come freely or from everyone. He gave Minoru a gentle touch on the shoulder. "You are in luck then that I doubt your partner cares what gender or roles you decide are the right one. It sounds like he has made a choice for himself. Nothing says you cannot both be feminine either."

The devil was open when it came to identities. They were personal and he thought of them almost like his own illusions. The outward appearance and wants were a reflection off the spirit inside. Apparently, Ziggy Stardust was feminine, and Lucifer found no surprise in that revelation.

"Like jewelry? Or flowers?" he asked. Those seemed so cliche, but they were the first thing that popped into mind. And something Isamu had bought for some of his girlfriends over the years. Well, that and chocolate. But that wasn't a good gift for an Anthean. "What would make him really feel like... a girlfriend?"

That word sounded so weird still.

Technically boyfriend sounded weird too. But it seemed to make more sense in Minoru's head when he thought about himself than girlfriend did. So he was probably the guy in the relationship.

"Clothing, make up, flowers, jewelry." Lucifer shrugs enough that his wings shift with it. "What makes him feel feminine? I would explore those options since those may be personal and not well-known either."

Lucifer didn't know all the details about Ziggy but he could sense that his mind was very different than a human. His views might be divergent from human ideals. "There are other things that are not gifts to make others feel feminine; opening doors, moving chairs when they sit. Actions may serve as much as gifts to make the evening mean more. Use the words he prefers for himself. You can make him feel more feminine in more than one way."

This was actually very good advice, and Minoru was on the edge of the bench taking mental notes.

"Okay." he nodded.

He could easily open doors, move chairs and do things to make Ziggy feel special. And the next time he went to Ziggy's townhouse, he'd try to look around with this in mind. There might be some other clues as to what an Anthean female would consider feminine.

Lucifer glanced down at the bag of chocolates in his lap with a smile. "When my partner saw who I was for the first time, the rest of me, his words and actions meant more than where we were or any gift he could have given. Do not underestimate the importance of those things that are not material objects."

Some of this advice was directly related to Lucifer's own minimalism and his partner's material extravagance, how they collided during important moments. "I hope that you both have a memorable first date."

Though he would linger if Minoru wanted, he was on his way home to his own partner and was not in his usual mood to sit eternally and just be either.

Minoru wouldn’t keep the angel from a date of his own. But he did smile graciously, “Thanks. That helps a lot!”

"If you need to talk more, I am around." He gave Minoru a light pat on the shoulder and stands to go home to his own date.

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Dating Advice for an Absolute Beginner?

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