nexus_crossings | The Post-Apocalyptic Doughnut Thief

The Post-Apocalyptic Doughnut Thief

Nothing in Antillioch is clean. Or tidy. Or not covered in a thick layer of desert. Which is why the appearance of a pristine white door that may well lead to some spiffed-up futuristic hospital ward is something of a shock to Zack. There follows a brief consultation with his brother, who doesn't seem to want anything to do with it, as it's so ..spotless, and white, and... ewww. For the two hellgods it's completely out of place and worse. They're so attuned to their hell dimension that anything this hygienic sits in the craw like a stuck fishbone.

Abe, casually examining his fingernails, suggests Zack tries the handle, just, you know, to see if it's locked. We don't want anything pleasant coming in. Stupidly, Zack's curiosity wins over and he does actually open the door a crack... Abe swiftly shoves him straight though it, and the Apocalyptic prince is sent sprawling. He literally faceplants into this new, uncomfortably pure environment.

He's ended up on the main plaza, and lifts his head, not liking anything he sees. But that's Zack all over. He doesn't like anything much. He even snarls at the few unfortunate people closest to him.

Nothing about the Nexus feels comfortable to Zack. Not until he smells something drifting across the plaza. He follows the scent until he comes to a doughnut stand.

Zack is the embodiment of the post-apocalyptic hellscape. He's on nodding terms with all four horsemen, and his own essence combines War, Famine, Pestilence and Death.. or more accurately the after-effects of such things. Away from his own dimension, he feels the hunger of famine, and Zack hasn't actually ingested anything for centuries.

Now he's in the realm of the living, these soft little dough things smell amazing.

He grabs one and tears into it, ignoring the stallholders protests about something like paying, or money, or something. When the stallholder tries to physically take his arm, Zack pulls away, swipes another of the sweet dough shapes, and wrenches himself away from the stand. Zack moves through the crowds away from the still-shouting stalholder, almost bumping into everyone - he's not used to crowds.

And he doesn't understand the concept of theft.

He almost sends some poor person tumbling as he tries to make his exit. But he can't find the infernal door and that stupid sweet-dough-thing person is still on his tail. Zack grabs the nearest passerby by the lapel, demanding... “What's his fucking problem? What the fuck's money? What does that even mean?”

[ooc: Cue argument between your muse, Zack, and the doughnut seller. Mun apologises for his language and behaviour. He's not housebroken yet...]

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She carefully brushes off her jacket and smooths the wrinkles before addressing Zack.

“That’s not a currency here” she says calmly “I’ll talk to the stall holder, and you can pay me directly. How does that sound?”

She so calming and friendly, and frail. Most mortals trust her, some protect her. But the darkness betrays her.

“Actually, I’ll buy a few of those donuts if you don’t mind? They are just what I’ve been craving.” She smiles at the stall holder

Just as well, he doesn't happen to have any dead souls in his pockets right now. Zack considers her offer. He has no reason to trust anyone, nor any reason to fear them.

"I don't think I've got anything you might want," he says, beginning to search his pockets.

The vendor is much happier to deal with this lovely young woman than the cyberpunk who stole his wares. "Of course," he tells her with a smile, "I'll bag some up for you... is this person bothering you?"

"I'll bother you in a minute," Zack threatens, growling at the poor man. "With a plague of fucking rats."

“I’m sure we will come to an arrangement” she replies, calmly, as she removes a few crisp bills from her bag

“You’re so kind” Cassie smiles to the vendor “...The gentleman behind me is a bit... rough, isn’t he?”

She’s heard much worse language, but feigns shock at Zack’s words. “Oh! I... was going to offer to pay it forward, as a good deed, but now I’m concerned. Can I borrow your phone to call my brother to walk me home?”

It may or may not be deliberate that her pink phone is in view of Zack and not the vendor, showing him how she is manipulating the situation.

"All right. As long as it's a fair price." He's not going to sell his soul for a few baked goods. However hungry he is.

Zack doesn't know what a phone is, but he sees her hiding the object as she speaks to the vendor, and is intelligent enough to know she's up to something. Her sudden change of mind is a little perturbing though. "What did I do?" he demands of the woman. "I wasn't threatening you."

"I'm not going to hurt her." He tells the very suspicious and stupid vendor, who clearly doesn't believe him and hands the woman an object. One which Zack now guesses must be a 'phone'.

She doesn’t want his soul. “It will be a very appropriate price”

Cassie takes a step closer to the vendor “You grabbed my jacket and yelled, and you were cursing- I didn’t know who you were threatening.”

The beautiful, frail woman with the big eyes carefully takes the phone “...I’m just going to text my brother. He’s working at a shelter- oh, I know how you can pay me back. Please send the next three poor ‘souls’ my way, and my brother will make sure you have some cash so this never happens again. I really just want to help people...”

This clearly is not the first time she’s asked this of someone.

“If you can’t... then. You owe me a favor”

That's not the way Zack remembers it all happening. He wants to ask why the woman needs to use the vendor's phone when she clearly had one, but maybe he's missing something vital here, and he keeps quiet about it.

“Cash. That's money, right? How much? I want a lot.” Souls are worth more than a couple of sweet pastries. Not that he can get his hands on any until he returns to Antillioch.

“And I can only bestow a favour if it's in my power. You understand that? I can't give you everlasting life, or world peace... or my firstborn. I don't have children, and if I do, I won't give them up for any amount of money.” He's heard of all the nasty tricks from Abe, and is resolutely not going to get himself in the position of owing something he's reluctant to give.

The stallholder is a little agog at the conversation. He's just a simple guy who sells baked goods. He isn't ready to be faced with the knowledge that one day his immortal soul might be bartered for.

“At least a hundred dollars” she offers “Thats a lot, isn’t it?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean- I meant- my brother works at a shelter, he takes poor souls and gives them a place to sleep while they get on their feet- isn’t that what you meant? And as for a favor- it wouldn’t be any of the things you listed.”

She lying and is so good at it. “Are you alright... I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name. I’m Cassie. And a favor is fine, just remember it the next time we meet.”

The phone is returned to the vendor and Cassie has a fresh donut in her hand now. “I think everything’s going to be okay now. Isn’t it?”

He doesn't know if it's a lot. A hundred pennies would sound like a lot to Zack. He's considering insisting on a hundred dollars per soul, until the woman realises they've been talking at cross-purposes.

“If the favour is fair,” he eventually agrees. “If I think it's not, I'll find money and you can have that instead.” She may be lying or telling the truth. Zack doesn't trust anyone, so he always assumes the former.

“ I think we're all good her, yeah.” The vendor sounds dubious but receives and pockets his phone.

“Did you just steal that bloody doughnut?” Zack asks, incredulous; once the vendor is out of earshot.

Cassie smiles and takes a bite of it “You really should work on your technique. You would not believe the messes I have gotten out of”

“How are you liking it here so far? What can you offer me as repayment?”

“My soul is already claimed, so you can’t steal that, if that’s what you were going to try”

“If I smile sweetly and pretend to feel threatened, it won't have the same effect.”

He looks around at their environment. “I hate it. It's too clean. Too populated.” Zack thinks for a bit. “We might have something back at home. There are things lying about that Abe tells me are worth a fortune to greedy mortals. Worth enough to destroy their only home for. To me, they just look like bits of glass and yellow metal.”

“It's not my job to claim your individual soul,” he tells her. “If you die in an apocalypse of your own making, then you're mine, or Abe's.”

Zack waves a hand vaguely, and pulls another stolen doughnut from his pocket with what is very nearly a smirk. He's seen all the tricks, though admittedly not hers. He knows how to make it look like he's pinched a couple of doughnuts when in fact he has four more in his pockets. “But if someone more powerful has a prior claim, we won't force the issue.”

“I’m using the tools given to me. Sometimes it takes more to get what I need, most of the time it takes less”

Cassie nods, and looks around “Why didn’t you grab some of those? Not that I need them. What else can you offer?”

She listens, and chooses her next words carefully “Who is Abe? Not that I’ll meet them. I suspect I won’t even see you two more times”

She giggles a little at the donuts. “You’re smarter than I thought. And, I am claimed by someone powerful. I am certain you can sense it. So we should do this deal before it is too late for you”

“My brother pushed me through the door without warning. I didn't have time to pick up worthless junk. That's my brother, Abe. Abdiron. He's a dick sometimes, but I can see what his motives were.”

He tucks into a doughnut. “You'll see me because we struck a bargain. And once he realises they have these..” he waves the pastry at her, “..he'll put in an appearance.”

For a few moments, Zack scrutinises the woman. “It's not in my power to sense much. Abe's the one with most of the power. My skills are what you might call... niche. I'll go back to Antillioch and get you some souls as agreed. Or you can have yellow metal. Or red and blue bits of glass. Your choice.”

He's talking about rubies and sapphires. Antillioch also hides emeralds, diamonds and other precious gems from many different dimensions.

“What do you think they were? This world is a sick joke, I don’t see why anyone would want to come here.”

“You are correct. We do have a bargain. What are your skills? I have all of the money I could ever want”

She really is a tiny and frail, partially human woman, who is technically mortal, on the cusp of death.

“Never mind” she sighs “I’ll take the prettiest rainbow gem that you have. I don’t want to leave a bargain unfulfilled. I’d never hear the end of it”

“I like rainbows. And puppies and kittens. Do you want to see my dog? Oh please see my dog, You’ll appreciate him. He’s gotten rather spoiled with all of the kids around and easy snacks”

Her dark mood brightens at showing off her pet.

"He wanted to find out what was behind the door, without putting himself in any danger." Zack is used to his brother's ways, and doesn't hold it against him. "I'll try to kick his head in for it, when I get home, but he's too powerful."

"Pest control. Mostly I'm good at dealing with an infestation."

Zack nods, he can probably find a multicoloured piece of crystal.

"We don't get those things in Antillioch." He has seen dull rainbows caused by black rain. "Some of our creatures reproduce, but they're usually mutants."

A dog. Zack hasn't seen many living animals from many worlds, but as a spirit, he's aware of flora and fauna that are natural. He knows what a dog is. He's seen alien people try to save their pets while their planet crumbled around them. He's not sure he likes dogs. Not small nippy ones, anyway.

"They smell bad," he comments. "But I'll look at your dog if you want me to."

“He sounds very cautious. I think that I would have just gone through the door. I like taking chances”

She pulls out her phone to pull up a picture of an opal and offers the device to Zack. “Like that but... brighter, more colorful”

Shortly after handing over the sparkly pink phone, there’s a dog that just appears beside Cassie. He’s extremely large and- well, he’s a hell hound.

“I have two children, and one stepchild” she explains “The two that are left spoil Shadow, and he gets a lot of snacks hanging around a few of my businesses”

Shadow, the hound, is on guard, standing beside Cassie protectively, ready to pounce if anything goes wrong.

“So would I, if he'd only asked.” Zack rolls his eyes.

He takes the phone and examines the picture. “I'll find what I can.” It is very pink and sparkly and utterly out of place in Zack's hands. He gives it back... and when the hound appears, he laughs aloud.

“We've got these! Not exactly like this one, but hellhounds. I used to play with the pack when I was a child.”

Now that it's clear Cassie is accompanied by a hellhound, she's off Zack's shitlist completely. Practically one of his own. He carefully offers a hand to the hound. He's a creature of hell and knows how to present a greeting without prompting an aggressive response... but there's really no telling how this one will react.

It can't harm him though.

“I didn't tell you my name, Cassie. I'm Aizaak.” It sounds just like 'Isaac'. “Zack's easier though.”

“I suppose that a sibling thing? Should I be glad that Sunny isn’t growing up with her twin?”

Cassie really seems to like her glittery unicorn and rainbow sparkliness. It’s really out of place for the darkness surrounding her

“I got Shadow when I was a baby” she smiles to herself as she tucks her phone away. “I don’t really remember the pack, but have been told that we used to play.”

The hound relaxes after assessing Zack, and wags his tail excitedly.

“It’s nice to properly meet you, Zack. I use the name Cassie. I’m no demon, I’m just a doomed princess who frequently cheats death... and I am quite sorry if I manipulated your emotions without your consent.

Shadow, the hellhound, is my protector and my best friend.”

"I don't know much about mortal families." He's not sure if it's the same whether you're a god or a human. It makes sense that it would be, to some degree.

She's certainly incongruous. It's new to Zack, who doesn't balk at it. He's okay with 'strange', and at least she has more about her than most mortals.

He fusses the hound behind the ears. It seems to like the attention.

"You were just being what you are," he shrugs. "I slag off mortals for being what they are, because they have the intelligence to be so much more. But at least you were using your intelligence."

“From what I know, some sort of sibling rivalry is expected.” Cassie shrugs

“Shadow likes you. That’s good, I’m glad you didn’t become one of his snacks. You’re not quite enough for a meal”

She watches Zack with Shadow for a moment “You are correct. Humans are very stupid, and even worse in groups. They’re also cruel, heartless. If they weren’t so hardy and persistent they’d all be dead. Except for me because I cannot seem to die.

Enough about me. What’s your hell like? Is it fire and brimstone, or something more realistic?”

She confirms his every suspicion about humans. Stupid and cruel, especially in a herd. Not that it occurs to him that hunting them down and delivering an agonising death might be cruel. It's simply the law of the cosmos.

When asked about his home, Zack frowns. “I'd bet fire and brimstone's realistic to the demons who live there.” He's heard of such places. Abe is full of stories.

“Ours isn’t like that. It’s beautiful, 'specially at night. All desert, wasteland, and industrial decay. We swallow up the worlds we destroy. You can see massive old cities and buildings, lying there half-covered by the sands. It's haunting. I love it.”

“You’re right.” She nods “Your hell sounds... logical”

Cassie frowns to herself, remembering that she’s not supposed to say more than a few kind words to anyone, that her work here is probably done.

“I should go now. Here’s my card if you need anything else. If I’m not available then one of my people will assist you.”

Cassie reaches into her bag to get the money that she promised Zack earlier “This is more than we said, I was ripping you off a bit, and here’s my card. Tear it in half to summon me. Burn it to break our deal. Have fun playing with Shadow”

And with that, after handing over a bank wrapped stack of twenties, tied with a pink ribbon and an iridescent card that just reads ‘Cassandra’, she turns to leave. The hound seems to linger, used to Cassie taking off without it. He finds her when she needs him, but that’s rarely because she has become very good at defending herself.

The card is accepted. Zack glances at it, unable to read and wishing he could eat it. It goes into a pocket without much thought. At least all he has to do is tear it up. That's easy.

The money makes him brighten, just a little. He doesn't really care that she was ripping him off. It's what mortals do. It's what Abe does. For all his faults though, Zack is bluntly honest. It's not that he's too stupid to manipulate people, it's just that he doesn’t see the point.

“Thanks. I'll look after him.” Shit. He doesn't know how to look after himself here, let alone a hell hound. Maybe the hound will take care of him for a bit.

Once she's gone, Zack sits on the ground and pets Shadow. Eventually he puts his arms around its neck and it settles. He stays there for some time, just craving the contact of something solid and vaguely familiar.

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The Post-Apocalyptic Doughnut Thief

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