nexus_crossings | It's a Beautiful Day in the Nexus, and You are a Horrible Coyote: Part 1

It's a Beautiful Day in the Nexus, and You are a Horrible Coyote: Part 1

Perhaps you're browsing the open market, easing through a crowd of strangers of all shapes and sizes and colors, looking for a shiny new trinket or vital supplies to bring home. Perhaps you're taking a stroll through the park near the Plaza, following the walking path around the pond, enjoying the quiet sounds of nature or carrying a pocketful of bread crumbs for the turtleducks. Perhaps you're just after a cup of coffee and you don't plan to stay, or you're looking for work to keep busy, avoiding some task you really don't want to do. Whatever the case, everyone in the Nexus is here for a reason. For a purpose. Everyone is looking for something, whether it's a physical object, a friend, or maybe simple peace of mind.

Wherever you are, you're not alone.

You won't have seen him before he speaks, nor heard his approach. But there he is, as if he has come from nowhere. Perhaps he has. Coyote's suit is immaculately pressed, a pleasant smile pulling his lips back from his teeth. Wherever you are, so is he, looking to you in greeting.

"Hello, friend!" he says, ears perked forward attentively, his furred hands clasped in front of himself. "A question, if I may. What's the one thing you desire most right at this exact moment?"

[OOC: Please READ BEFORE REPLYING! This is part one of a mod-sanctioned event in which your character will have a wish temporarily granted. However, rather than granting the spirit of the wish as intended, Coyote will twist the wording into something your character finds genuinely distressing a la The Monkey's Paw. Please message me to arrange consequences for your character and (if needed) to set boundaries! While your character will not have fun, participating players absolutely should. For those who want to participate but don't want their character in distress, stay tuned for part two. You're also welcome to tag into threads after Coyote has worked his magic and left, though please ask the target player first.]

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Welp, there's only one person he knows that uses that particular swear. Before he lets Zack go, he schools all the painful loneliness off his face, but he definitely can't manage everything even remotely close to happy. The fox thing comment wasn't missed. That pisses him off. Especially with you throwing around phrases like disgusting in his brother's skin. Or, you know, at being human. Apart from the eyebrows that have climbed his face, Dean's face is deadpan. "Just... Wow. Tell a guy how you really feel." No, please, do go on. He won't even remind you that you are wearing Sam's face, though he will move away before he starts throwing punches for it. Not least because of the AVF and he still doesn't know quite how that works.

Drink. He needs drink. It's hurting him in ways he didn't want to examine. He's just going to grab his duffel before slamming the apartment door as he bring it in. Okay, so, very unhappy. He drops it on the floor by the liquor cabinet as he starts setting himself out a drink. A furious finger is pointed in Zack's direction. "I told you not to go saying anything if he came asking what you want or what your business is. Wish magic and deals never<\i> come without a price. Which I also told you."

And then, a slightly deeper and more concerning question comes to mind. "The hell did you even ask for to-" He gestures at all 6'4" of Zack with his free hand as he finishes pouring, going straight in for half the glass. The end of the question holds many, many emotions that Dean has yet to get around to teaching about yet. "...Sam-ify?"

It's a horrible shock, and he's not handling it well at all. Just as Dean releases him, Zack becomes aware that Dean has shrunk a few inches and is about to demand if Coyote got him too, and then he remembers a couple of photos Dean showed him, and that Sam is pretty tall... and it hammers home just whose body he seems to be wearing.

And he's saying all sort of horrible things. No, Zack never realised what it was like to be comprised of what basically amounts to meat, and it feels awful; but Dean is human, and meat, and so are most of Zack's handful of friends.

He only watches helplessly as Dean does whatever it is he needs to do and wouldn't blame the human (the OTHER human) one bit if he did attack him.

“I thought it was... I didn't think it would...” None of his excuses cut it, they die on his tongue as Dean speaks.

What did he ask for? “Just wanted to help you,” Zack blurts. “Wanted to be more of what you wanted, needed.”

And what Zack thinks Dean wants and needs is his human brother. This has become abundantly clear.

What he needed?

He needs Sam. Always has, always will. It's an undisputed fact of his life. Without Sam, he's missing at least half of himself, it's when he makes stupid decisions and stupider plays. It's how he was raised. He had been finding himself a bit more since moving into the bunker, learning what he likes and doesn't outside of everything that was Dad's or 'protect Sam', but it was still very much a work in progress. "I do." He admits it aloud, finishing his glass. "Not a day goes by and I don't think about him. Worry about him. And clearly, you know that, as much as I've been trying to keep it on the down low."

What he wanted, however?

He sighs, frustrated and sad. He can't look at you as he finishes this train of thought. "What I don't need is a replacement for him. And with you looking like him? You either think that's what I'm trying to do, or that you're not what I want you to be. And do you know what?" He been pouring another as he spoke, and he turns to face him again, another drink in hand. "I'm actually offended if either of those things were going through your head. So, please. Please tell me I'm wrong right now." And don't even dare think of lying to him. He knows the look of a lie on his brother's face too well.

If there's one thing this creature does get, the one who doesn't understand what it is to be human at ALL, even now - although he's on a steep learning curve - it's that you can't replace a brother. You don't replace a brother. To think you can is insulting and offensive. It's all so untidy and the magic must have just taken over.

Zack is mortified by this. As ever, he finds it hard to articulate what the was thinking, what he really didn't intend, and the distinction between those two things.

“I wasn't trying to be Sam. That wasn't what I meant. I.. yes, I think you need him, but I'm not him and he's not me, and that's right. It's natural. ..I .. I just thought if I was more, somehow...”

He flops down on the nearest chair, utterly beaten. “I'm sorry. I fucked up.”

Now he understands the word that Belial used. Hubris. And it truly is folly.

Dean's non-glass holding hand rubs his fingers across his eyes. He's approaching headache territory, and fast. He knows Zack probably hadn't meant anything by it. He knew that. God damn it. ~~He's far too good at putting that expression on his brother's face, no matter who's wearing his skin apparently~~ the thought is pushed out of his head as quickly as it pops up. He's also a little touched that he's inspired the want to be more in the eyes of the kid, but also infinitely frustrated.

"Told you in the park that you were helping. I just... goddamn it, Zack. You don't need to be more." Ugh. Feelings. Why does he have to have feelings. And talk about them. "You're awesome the way you are. Normally. Not that- shit."

Yep, there's the headache.

"You don't need to be anything more, or less, or different. We all have our screw ups, shit happens. Doesn't mean you need to go changing shit, necessarily."

Normally, if Dean actually told him he was awesome, Zack would break into the goofiest grin that any hellspawn could possibly grin. Not so much at the moment. It only makes everything seem more sad. It often takes a monumental cock-up for people actually say this kind of thing; when, if they'd said it before, it would have prevented said cock-up.

For the first time, Zack realises that he's learned how to grasp irony.

Not for the first time though, he also gets that it's fucking tragic.

“I'm not even sure I wanted anything to change, just to be more, I dunno. In tune.”

Though it's a good job he hadn't said that to Coyote. Or he'd be sitting here unable to want things, or screw up, or understand irony, because he’d be a guitar.

“D'you think it'll wear off?” he eventually asks in a plaintive voice.

"'In tune'. You're lucky you didn't end up as a damn piano or guitar." Dean comments wryly, completely unaware that Zack is having a similar thought. He's doing the thing where he has no idea what to say so his mouth moves and makes words without his brain engaging too much. He asks that question, and it breaks his heart a bit. The tone is one he's heard a lot from Sam and it digs into him every time. It's the 'Dean needs to drop everything and fix it' tone, and he's just built for doing exactly that. He takes so mouthful, and puts the drink down, heading over to Zack, crouching and putting a hand on his knee, every sign of his earlier hardiness completely gone. "Don't look like that. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to freak. And I'm sure it'll wear off; these things normally run their course." Or, you know, kill you before they do. Please don't die. Right now it would be twice as devastating as normal, and he's 1000% sure he wouldn't survive that.

...He's seriously screwed if zack figures out how to harness the puppy dog eyes.

Zack snorts because that's funny. “ I thought guitar too,” he points out, still wary. None of this is funny, and he hopes Dean knows that he understands that.

“No. You had every right. Maybe it's just one of those three-day curses. Abe used to do those to any of the demons that got out of hand.” It has occurred to Zack that things will hurt in a mortal body, and that it can die. That one, is something he's going to card through, later. One doesn't get to be as old as the first ever world that died and not feel a tad weary. It might be an out for him.

He may not be able to help those puppy eyes though. This face was just made to do woobie.

"Wouldn't mind so much, being human," he tells Dean more softly. "I'm more sorry it had to be Sam."

He huffs, and it's not quite a chuckle but it is definitely in the area of it. "You ever think we spend a little too much time together?" He asks wryly. A pause and then "...that's a joke, just in case you didn't catch it this time." He was getting there but in an emotionally charged situation like this, it's better to be clear with the one who isn't aware of the finer points of these things. In some ways, it was a lot like hanging with Cas in the early days with a lot of a young Sam in the personality mix.

He shrugs, trying to just push past this. Shove his feelings aside because it's not time right now to examine them. "Don't worry about it. All's I ask is that if you're riding the sasquatch, you take care of it." ...just in case. He's really not sure if this is a shifted apparently or a freaky Friday deal, or something else.

He's about to point out that he has five other people that he likes to spend time with too, but drops it as Dean makes things a bit clearer.

"I need to see a mirror," Zack eventually says. "Are my face-marks still there?"

He's about to go for the bathroom, but Dean's request does make him blink. "Don't know what that even means. What's a sasquatch?"

"Bathroom, same place as usual." He snarks before he can stop himself. He's thrown through a loop, and it's come out more sarcastic than actually intended.

"No, no face marks. First time I've seen you without them, I think. I'm assuming they're kinda important?" He'd never actually though to ask because he never thought anything of them. They were just part of Zack's... Zackness. "A sasquatch is a really tall hairy ape-man-thing from human stories. I used to... Never mind. Just meant to look after yourself."

Smartarse human piece of... the whole sarcasm thing is overridden though, by the next revelation. The face of Sam Winchester pales, and Zack can feel he's breaking into a cold sweat.

Dean explains the sasquatch thing to him, but Zack has glazed over some and hasn't really been listening.

"You better be shitting me," he snarls, without answering Dean's direct question; and races into the bathroom.

There follows a howl of what could be either rage or anguish. It's not just the shock of actually seeing himself in human form. Or losing his own face. It's the marks.

He wasn't ready. He just... Gah. Zack stares at himself. Utterly indecisive and completely not ready to show himself. Only it's not himself. So it's not as bad. Except for how it's worse because he's not himself.

"That's a yes." He mutters to himself on hearing the howl. The last time he heard a sound like that coming from Sam, he was being plagued by hallucinations. He'd never heard that noise from Zack. He bites his lip as he waits for his brain to make up its mind on the three different instincts kicking off at the sound, before it settles on the inevitable.

Nothing's hurting 'Sam' for him to punch.
Leaving during a crisis probably won't be taken well.
Going to hover by the bathroom door it is. He at least outs the bottle down before going into 'fix crisis' mode.

"This is probably a stupid question, but can't you just draw 'em back on or something?"

Give him a moment. He's trying to decide which is worse. Being exposed, or not being him.

"Doesn't work like that. They're part of me." he tries to snarl it out but it comes out all wrong, as if he's about to break down like a kid. That's the last thing Zack wants to do. "You don't understand. I need the bars. I need to be ugly."

He draws in a shuddering breath. Sam is definitely pretty. Way too much so. But at least it's not his own face staring back at him. He's still trying to get his head around which comes first, the chicken or its markings.

[[OOC: Took it private knowing some of the backstory. Keeping it safe for people who may be spyreading at work.]]

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It's a Beautiful Day in the Nexus, and You are a Horrible Coyote: Part 1

hows's the minefield feeling, zack? XD

augh! watch out for shrapnel! (XD)

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Possible trigger warnings from this point. May end up in private journal.

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