Time-sensitive question how flirt girl

[pirateangelbaby]

It's been some time since Thor has sought the Nexus for advice. Which is not to say that he's not a regular visitor, but he's felt relatively assured in his day-to-day life enough to feel that he has a good handle on what he's doing with himself, or at least that his struggles are routine and need little guidance to overcome. Today, apparently, this is not the case.

One might be forgiven for assuming the glass bottle in his hand is beer at first glance, but on closer inspection it seems to be a cream soda instead. It's not what he wants, but just having a drink in his hands seems to be a comfort, making it easier to think. The little picnic table is off to one side off the main Plaza, its benches warmed by the summer sun as it overlooks a small koi pond. Thor's one good eye stares through the glinting fish rather than watching them, lost in thought.

What's he supposed to do now?

Is this even a good idea? What happens once a few decades pass? What if he decides not to risk it, and she leaves? Should he even be seriously considering putting himself through this again? He doesn't even know his own heart yet, what if he ends up stringing her along without meaning to?

Those are the questions he keeps to himself, but there are more yet to ask. He picks at the soda label with his prosthetic fingers, metal lightly tapping against the glass.

"How do you realize when you're in love?" Not quite getting to the point, but Thor is honestly not even sure where to start on this one.

Comments

[itmeanstruth]

“I think inanimate objects knew before I did.” He echoed a line his brother had used a few times.

It wasn’t wrong, though.

Empaths might be cheating, but it wasn’t just the feelings of romantic attraction that Ziggy picked up on. There was confusion as well, not to mention feelings of avoidance and disgust associated with Minoru being asexual and sex-averse. He probably wasn’t making it easy for an empath to get a read.

So it was hard to say exactly when Ziggy knew. But it was probably a safe bet to say it was before Minoru did.

[pirateangelbaby]

Thor grunts a little in assent of that answer. When you're dealing with empaths, fair enough. The idea's always made him uneasy, but fortunately it's not a factor here.

"You said your brother had to tell you what your feelings meant?"

[itmeanstruth]

“At first, yeah…” He couldn’t escape the faint blush of embarrassment. Lest Thor assume he was well overdue for a very important talk, Minoru was quick to add, “I mean, I’ve never really been attracted to anybody before Ziggy. Ever. Not romantically. Definitely not, well… sexually. Still not sexually. But yeah, I was completely clueless.”

To be fair, it wasn’t all Isamu’s doing. Tom helped a tremendous amount too. Moreso than his own parents ever could - given that he too, fell in love with an Anthean. Minoru’s parents knew a lot about Ziggy now, but he hadn’t quite come out of the space closet, so to speak.

[pirateangelbaby]

This, perhaps, is more useful than Minoru knows. Thor is no stranger to sexual attraction, not by a long shot. He's long since lost count of the number of people he's had dalliances with. But it's not often come hand in hand with love, and that's what's tripping him up the most. How to identify the feelings in his heart, when his only true romance had been sudden and immediate, not slowly grown into over years?

"What made it different than friendship?"

[itmeanstruth]

Minoru scratched his head. This was still hard for him to wrap his head around, so it was probably going to come out a little convoluted.

“In a lot of ways, it’s always been like a friendship. But the connection I had with Ziggy felt… deeper than that too. More… intimate? Like he was already inside me, but not in a gross way. And I wanted to be around him, just be close to him… which really terrified me for a while.”

Minoru finally sunk down onto the bench itself. His voice was quiet, more serious.

“I just assumed it was the Anthean empathy. And by letting it affect me, I was using him or taking advantage of him somehow. I thought that feeling good around him meant I was selfish and didn’t care about him as a friend.” He admitted cautiously. “Heck, I even bought a magic potion so I wouldn’t have to feel it anymore. That’s how much I didn’t want to hurt Ziggy.”

Thankfully, he added, a conversation with another Anthean helped set him straight about what their powers truly were. And he realized that the night after Hiroki’s disappearance, when Ziggy was rightfully inconsolable, it was letting himself be felt that made the most difference.

“Maybe that’s the biggest difference between love and friendship. Feeling and being felt.”

[pirateangelbaby]

Oh, so much of this rings true, though he'd not had the words to say so. Thor has always been quick to attach himself to others, to care for their wellbeing and happiness, though he'd not always been aware how much his own arrogance had skewed what he'd thought his friends desired.

Add on a whole heap of other baggage and small wonder he's struggled to realize what's been in front of him all along, growing so slowly he'd not noticed.

He sits back a little, quietly contemplating that. "Sensible," he murmurs absently.

Can it really be that simple?

No, of course, the situation is not simple at all. But matters of the heart? Does he love her? Yes. Of course he does.

[itmeanstruth]

Situations are hardly ever simple. When it actually came time to have their first real date, Minoru was polling the entire plaza for ideas. In some ways, it helped. In some, it really didn’t and the date had plenty of awkward stumbles they both laugh about now.

“Yeah…” he repeated, mulling it over.

Presumably, Thor’s potential love interest probably wasn’t an empath. (Empaths were cheating, right?)

“I guess, when you’re comfortable enough to be completely open and share who you really are with them, no holding back… I guess that’s love.”

[pirateangelbaby]

That's at least the gist of it, Thor can agree. So where does that leave him, then?

"Then my next problem is how to date someone who takes fright at calling it such," he admits with a frown.

[itmeanstruth]

“Oh, that one’s a lot easier!” Minoru grinned. “Just find a different word you both like!”

He was speaking from experience here too. Compared to figuring out how they felt about each other, deciding that they were dating and what to call their relationship was remarkably straightforward.

“It’s a little easier to call Ziggy my… um… girlfriend now. But at first, I was the one who was all weirded out by it. So, we used koibito instead.” It was a Japanese word, he explained. It was gender neutral, and basically meant partner. It didn’t carry any expectations about sexual activity, the way - at least to Minoru back then - that boyfriend and girlfriend did.

[pirateangelbaby]

Thor blinks, not quite doing a doubletake. "It makes that large a difference?" he asks, sounding rather out of his depth.

[itmeanstruth]

“It did to me.” He admitted.

Ziggy was, as he stated earlier, his first romantic relationship. And there was a lot about traditional relationships, especially where physical contact was concerned, that fell wildly outside of Minoru’s comfort zone. And he willingly admitted that it took a lot of trial and error, a lot of discussions and a lot of compromises to figure out exactly where that comfort zone was.

“Having someone care about me enough to make sure I felt comfortable with the words I wanted to use for our relationship… I think it went a long way to actually being comfortable in a relationship.”

[pirateangelbaby]

Thor considers that, rubbing at his bearded chin. "So, not a 'date.' Courting is certainly not either, if not worse."

Well, this has given him an interesting problem to chew on, anyway.

[itmeanstruth]

“Well, whatever you both are comfortable calling it.” Minoru nodded. “And that’s something you can find out together.”

Which was really what it all boiled down to. Today’s answer might be different than tomorrow’s answer, and that was okay too.

[pirateangelbaby]

"If she'll speak to me of it." That's his biggest concern right now. If he tries to discuss things and she's not ready, will he push her away without meaning to? How is he meant to behave as he always has, knowing this unspoken thing lies between them?

Thor shakes his head and takes a sip from his soda. "'When is a date not a date' sounds like a terrible riddle to solve."

[itmeanstruth]

“You won’t know until you try.” Minoru encouraged.

He knew, though, that it was a lot easier said than done. When he was in Thor’s position, the last thing he felt comfortable doing was talking to Ziggy. And yet, that was the very advice that Tom offered, more than once. When he finally did take it (and they both finally opened up about their feelings and set good boundaries with each other), he couldn’t believe it took him so long to do it.

“It’ll end up being easier than you think it’ll be.” He added. “Believe me. And talking about it is the only way to make it stop being a riddle.”

[pirateangelbaby]

Ah, apparently he's not been clear. Which is probably understandable, given his turmoil and distraction. "I have tried," he clarifies, shaking his head. "But I suppose she needs time first."

He hopes.

If she decides to refuse to speak to him about it for the rest of her days, there might be little he could do. Just thinking about that possibility hurts more than he expected it to.

[itmeanstruth]

Minoru nodded at the misunderstanding. He thought quietly for a moment.

“Then… I guess, for now, just be there. Be open. Really be open and there for her. And when she’s ready to talk about it, you’ll probably both be in a better spot to do it.”

He sincerely hoped that it would work out for Thor in the end.