Good heavens, who let her do this?

[deniabilities]

Janet Ford is nervous. She arrives in the Nexus fidgeting and unsure of herself, her body language betraying that she has no clue what she's doing. Which is wildly out of character for an FBI agent who's spent 11 years facing complicated cases and the occasional life-threatening incident. But this might be the most intimidating thing she's ever been asked to handle, as she sprawls herself on a bench in the Plaza and the stack of bridal magazines inelegantly fans out beside her.

She has a prestigious college degree. She has a commendation for exemplary service. But ask her to help plan a wedding and that's what freaks her out.

It should be said that this is not her wedding, thankfully, but it does involve two people very close to her so she wants to do everything she can for them. The groom is one of her coworkers whom she's known for her whole career and his fiancee is a superwoman who's somehow balanced a successful career with putting up with everything that the FBI can throw at a couple. Janet wants them to have a huge night since they rarely even get proper date nights. That doesn't mean she knows how to make it happen. Or knows anyone who does. So here she is in the Nexus. Someone in the multiverse ought to be able to help.

"Does anybody know anything about weddings?" she asks. "Anything other than they're expensive and way too complicated?" This second question posed as she gets up just to get herself a frappucino from the nearest coffee cart before reclaiming her seat. She thinks that she's going to be here for a while. At least until the headache stops.


[ ooc: Feel free to be as unserious with this thread as you like - I'm hoping to develop Janet's comic voice / life outside the FBI more, so anything goes! That said, please excuse me if she's a bit awkward as I'm trying to get her back after having some negative RP experiences. I'll do my best to make her work with whatever anyone else is comfortable with. ]

Comments

I prefer to be vey serious in my unseriousness, thank you.

[itmeanscourage]

Isamu glanced up from the book he was reading. “I know that they are expensive and complicated because they originated as a financial transaction meant to solidify a social contract of ownership that guarantees a man's children were truly his biological heirs. Complete with witnesses - or guests rather - to add it its legitimacy.”

In other words, so what did you want to know?

Then we'll just be very serious about this

[deniabilities]

"What?" Janet blurts, not having expected the history of the term at all. She had been looking for more practical information.

But she shakes that off. "I'm supposed to be helping put together a wedding and I don't even know where to start," she admits. "There's so much information to go through, and to be honest, a lot of it seems superficial or unnecessary. Things like colors and trends, I understand that's supposed to be fashionable, but does a wedding really have to be fashionable? Shouldn't it just be whatever people actually want?"

She could ask her mother since her mother is in the fashion business, but she's sure her mother would then provide lots of unsolicited advice that would make it even more complicated.

Seriously unserious :)

[itmeanscourage]

“I suppose it depends on your definition of necessary. But superficial? Oh, Absolutely.” Isamu noted. “Remember, a wedding was historically a transaction. Layering themselves in couture or adorning themselves with the most expensive things they own merely boosts a bride’s perceived wealth. This tradition has not changed, only modernized.”

They could all blame Queen Victoria for the white dress.

“and while they can certainly do whatever they wanted now, societal expectation has been scientifically proven to be difficult to overcome. Our brains are hardwired for heuristics, including the generalization that what is popular is good.”

[deniabilities]

"I'm pretty sure Adam and Dana don't care," Janet replied, referring to her friends who were tying the knot. She didn't socialize with them very often but she knew enough about them to know neither of them had ever been that popular. Adam in particular still felt like sometimes he was living in the 90s with how he had yet to entirely grow up.

She exhales. "We obviously don't want to blow the budget on this, especially since there's a possibility they have the ceremony in Kentucky, which means some resources have to be allocated to get everybody there. The good news is we won't have to rent a venue since they have one, so that helps. But how big is too big or not big enough?"

If she's talking about this like a mission it's because that's pretty much how her mind processes everything. She's a very logical thinker.

[itmeanscourage]

Fortunately, Janet was also speaking to a very logical mind.

“While I am admittedly no expert on event planning, whether the size of a wedding is appropriate or not would depend largely on the number of expected guests and the probability of those expected guests actually attending - especially if long-distance travel is involved. I recall reading once that about forty percent of a wedding budget is taken up by venue, food and beverages, all of which are dependent on an accurate headcount.”

[deniabilities]

"That is a lot of resources." Janet chuckled. "I'll ask him about a general number of people. It's probably going to be mostly her family. He comes from a small family, and we're a small group of people at work, too." There were only five people in their whole department. Adam wasn't going to be very well represented at the wedding unless he had a horde of other friends Janet had yet to meet.

She paused. "I'm gonna have to cut some of this stuff. Because no offense to anybody but I can't see any of us caring about napkin rings or party favors. Some of this all seems so inane."

[itmeanscourage]

“Have you considered listing out what is absolutely non-negotiable, and then prioritizing the budget based on achieving those items?”

Napkin rings, one could safely assume, were negotiable. But what about an open bar? Having a bouquet to throw? Having all the people in the wedding party look alike in a nod to their historical role as decoys and bodyguards in case of an attempted kidnapping of the bride?

[deniabilities]

"That's probably a good idea." As Janet's thought of reading all these bridal magazines to find out what seemed to be necessary and making a list that way was clearly just making her confused with how many little things that didn't seem to be necessary at all.

But it would be wise not to mention the attempted kidnapping idea to an FBI agent who was fiercely protective of the people she loved. She'd spend the rest of the time worrying about exactly that instead of actually having a good time. Janet was still a little edgy after one of her recent cases had taken a dangerous turn.

"Have you ever been in a wedding?" she asks, flipping through her notepad to find a new page.

[itmeanscourage]

Isamu shook his head, “oh, no no no. Though, I would not be surprised if my brother serves as an honor attendant in his girlfriend’s upcoming wedding. Which, of course, prompted a little light pleasure reading on the subject.”

Admittedly, that probably sounded a little odd - given that Ziggy was indeed the girlfriend and bride-to-be and Minoru definitely was not the groom. But polyamorous relationships could be a little odd sometimes.

“I am uncertain how far into planning the wedding they are. I do not believe they have even set a date.”

[deniabilities]

Janet's eyebrow cocks trying to figure out that first sentence, but she doesn't ask. She's not sure it's any of her business to ask about someone else's relationship when she's in a complicated one of her own. She and her boyfriend Holden had broken up after her third date, then moved in together and lived platonically for the better part of a year before reconciling. They didn't even know their anniversary date because of the back and forth.

"It took my friends a few months to set a date, too," she admits with a laugh. "And several years to get engaged. They bought a house before he proposed. So this is the culmination of what's already a pretty committed relationship."

[itmeanscourage]

Even Minoru would readily admit that he wasn’t part of a love triangle, but something far closer to a love dodecahedron. Isamu had tried, but had yet to really figure it out himself - that would obviously require experiments on the effects of Anthean empathic powers on the human brain, a study that Ziggy would never, in a million years, consent to participating in.

Isamu was a scientist, down to his last neuron.

He was also very, very single. (At least where committed romantic relationships were concerned.)

“Then being already very familiar with each other, they should be able to adequately explain their preferences and priorities. At least, I would assume.” He pondered aloud. “Until that has been communicated, your concerns are nothing but speculation. A thought exercise. Which should ultimately be free of any duress.”