nexus_crossings | Icy Mirrors and Mistaken Identities

Icy Mirrors and Mistaken Identities

Unlike the sudden freeze of last Winter, this year there has been a subtle chill, a gradual progression of frost across grass and stone. It nips at your skin should you forget to wrap up, but is otherwise harmless. That is, apart from one section of the Nexus.

It seems to wander in the blink of an eye. Here one moment, gone the next. Sometimes slyly, sometimes by placing itself directly in a traveller's path. Either way the area is shrouded in a thick fog that is staggeringly luminous, suggesting a strong, obscured sun is trying to get through but only succeeding in illuminating the air itself. Even the most frequent Nexus visitors soon find themselves lost. It's eerily still, there is only the sound of your breathing, of your footsteps crunching frost and thin ice.

As you venture further you spot silhouettes standing in the distance. Drawing closer you find tall slabs of ice are scattered throughout the misty landscape. They all tower over you, and the perfectly cut surfaces all shine like mirrors back at you. The more you walk, the more of them seem to have erupted from the earth, until you catch yourself moving in the corner of your eye. At least, you thought it was yourself. You soon find yourself wondering: Are you alone?

((Winter Event! Hurrah! This event allows you to bring out a doppelgänger for your character to cause chaos or try out a different side of them! Details can be found here. Or for questions and plotting, the OOC post is here. Threadhopping and mixing up characters and doppelgängers is definitely encouraged. Feel free to ask me anything and, most importantly, have fun!))

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Josh has lived in the Nexus for nearly a year now. He knows the familiar more-stable paths of the Nexus very well. It was a simple errand. Fetch and grab some food to bring back to Chris's apartment and enjoy a nice day inside, curled up in the warmth of a duvet and classic horror movies.

He's been to the small mom and pop pizza shop a dozen or more times. Josh could walk there in his sleep. But it's been nearly an hour now and all that he's seen is the same nondescript fog and the growing absence of any other person on what should be a busy side street. Josh pauses and looks around, breath clouding up when he exhales while he tries to get his bearings. Did he take a wrong turn? Or several? He should have been there by now.

There's something sickeningly familiar about this chill. This isolation. It reminds him of the mines. Being trapped hungry, hurt, and alone. He catches sight of movement in the distance and hurries toward it. But there's no one there--merely looming slabs of ice that reflect better than the clearest mirror. It gives Josh the spooks to see so many reflections of himself. The shadows under his eyes and loose fitting clothing a grim reminder of how different he is from before he came to the Nexus.

He hates looking at them.

But there's more when he turns, and still more just visible at the edge of his sight deep in the fog. Josh backs up and nearly screams when he runs into someone. He falls back on his ass and gapes up at the figure, half expecting a monster to manifest form the fog. It turns out to be a much friendlier sight instead.

"A-adia?"

"Oh!" Adia stumbles, but catches herself at the last moment. She whirls around, heart racing at who or what she might have encountered in the ominous fog.

She looks down at Josh, her expression immediately shifting into relief. "Josh! Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there."

He's the one who ran into you, a familiar voice chastises. Why are you apologizing?

Adia tilts her head at the voice that only she can hear. "Um..." she says, distracted, before offering Josh a hand to get back on his feet. "This fog is so weird, isn't it? I was heading to the Plaza but I must have gotten turned around."

"No joke. Fog's so thick I can barely see more than a few feet in front of me."

Josh is quick to get to his feet before the cold can seep into his bones from where he'd been sprawled out on the freezing ground. A few quick pats ensure he's all dusted off and not hurt really.

"Thanks." For offering him a hand, obviously. "Yeah, same. I've been trying to find my way out of here for a while now. Not much luck though. Just a whole lot of creepy shit popping up and disappearing again."

He's not sure if he's been imagining it or not. That's kind of a day to day concern for him.

"No problem." Adia watches him in concern until it seems like he's truly okay. "Creepy stuff? Do you mean those giant slabs of ice? They're like mirrors, practically." She frowns and shivers, despite wearing enough winter garb to ward off the chill. Now that she thinks about it, none of this seems very natural...

Trying to shrug off her nervousness, she smiles at Josh hopefully. "Well, between the two of us, I'm sure we can --"

Wander around in circles and waste his time as well as yours?

"...um, that is, find a way out of here. And I have my PINpoint, so --"

So use that instead, genius.

"H-hey!" Adia calls out in frustration. Why is that voice so damn familiar? "Please stop interrupting me! A-and stop hiding, it's not nice!"

"Yeah. They keep popping up every which way."

Josh glances back at the ones he'd been backing away from. Still dislikes the reflection in the mirror glancing back at him. Everything about this is creeping him right the fuck out.

"You've got a what, now?" Josh hasn't heard of a PINpoint before, and his curiosity is piqued, though he looks around when she calls out. "Uh, I'm sorry? Adia?" This is new. Usually he's the one hearing things.

The mildly insulting disembodied voice is certainly upping the creepy factor for Adia. She scoots a little closer to Josh, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment over her outburst. "Not you, Josh, sorry," she says, misinterpreting his confusion. "I meant that voice. It's coming from... from over there, I think..."

And indeed, as soon as she pinpoints the direction of the voice, she can see a distinct figure emerge from the fog. It's a young woman dressed for a night out, her make-up flawless, her form-fitting green dress something that Adia only wishes she had the confidence to wear.

It takes Adia a few seconds to realize that she's staring at herself.

"It's me," Adia squeaks, all the color draining from her face. Too bad she's the only one who can see it.

Josh doesn't hear any voice.

None except for Adia's, and he's pretty sure he's supposed to be hearing that one. He looks over the way she is, but can't make out anything through the thick fog. Did she catch sight of one of those creepy mirrors again? Josh sucks in a sharp breath regardless of how much the cold stings at his lungs.

"Adia I don't see anyone." He's talking slower now, looking from her to the dense fog she's staring into. "That usually means I'm hallucinating, but I"m not used to being the one who isn't seeing or hearing anything."

"Y-you don't?" But how can he not? She looks as real as anyone she has ever seen in the Nexus. Adia turns her wide-eyed gaze to Josh, then back towards her mirror image, who is casually examining her nails. "She's-- she's standing right there."

He obviously doesn't see me, her doppelganger says with a roll of her eyes. He doesn't need to.

"Hallucinating?" She repeats weakly. The idea forms a cold pit of dread in her stomach. She has been through so much in the last two years, she knows it hasn't been good for her mental health, but has she really gotten to the point where she's seeing things?

She shakes her head, trying to deny the most obvious explanation. "N-no. I'm not --" She almost says "crazy", but that isn't kind to Josh.

"You're not. I am."

She doesn't need to say it. Josh knows. He moves closer to her and touches her shoulder gently.

"Shit happens in the Nexus. Okay? Take a deep breath. You coulda been drugged. Magicked. Any number of things. And, if I can't see it, that means it might not be real. So let's just.....fffind a way out of here and I'll stay with you until you ride this out."

The good thing about being friends with Josh is that he's been in her shoes before. He knows how scary it is to realize your mind has turned against you.

"But..." But Josh isn't crazy, she thinks. He doesn't act crazy. "...I'm sorry, I didn't know." It doesn't seem to shake her trust in him, although her own confidence at quickly leaving the foggy landscape has evaporated. "Um... how long do hallucinations usually last?"

I'm not a hallucination, her mirror image quips, strutting over in satin heels that Adia would never attempt to wear, let alone in weather like this. But, sure, take Mister Schizophrenic's word over mine.

"Stop it," Adia hisses at her, huddling in her coat. "Not... not you, Josh. Sorry."

"Depends on the day. Seconds, minutes..."

Hours.

Voices crowing with glee horrible things that shake Josh's foundations and leave him a sobbing mess curled up into a tiny ball and hiding away from the world. but this isn't about him right now. It's about Adia and Josh is determined to help as much as he's able to.

"Hold my hand. Touch it. See? You can tell it's real. It's cold. Solid. That's how I know what's real."

She doesn't need to resort to pain, Josh thinks. Adia's got a solid head on her shoulders. She's not like him.

Her nervous gaze on the approaching image of herself, Adia fumbles for Josh's hand before gripping it tightly. Her own hand is cold as well, and shaking slightly.

Relaxing a little at the realness of his touch, she exhales slowly. "...thanks. I'm glad you're here." Her doppelganger rolls her eyes again, but Adia ignores it, focusing her attention on Josh instead. "It... it must be rough, to hallucinate in the Nexus, when things are already so strange..."

Oh, it must be sooo rough, her mirror image squeals in a mockery of Adia's sympathetic tone before sticking a finger in her mouth and pretending to gag. Save the doe eyes for someone who gives a frak and work on getting us out of here, okay? This is boring.

Thankfully, Adia does not seem anywhere close to a sobbing mess. In fact, she's looking a little pissed. "Are your hallucinations mean?" she whispers, glaring daggers at the figure that only she can see. "Mine is really mean."

"Years of trial and error, Adia."

Josh doesn't force any more contact on his friend, content with his other hand in his jacket as he looks around them at the fog. There's got to be a way out of this stuff. But he knows firsthand how dangerous wandering in low visibility can be after years on Blackwood Mountain.

"It is." Seeing things in the nexus, he means. "Sometimes I have to watch other people. See if they're seeing the same things I am." He gives her hand a reassuring squeeze when she gets visibly upset.

"Usually they're really mean." Not that Josh doesn't deserve it. He's a monster. "They know how to hit you where it hurts. What makes you vulnerable, ashamed."

Because in the end, it's all you.

It does not go past Adia, the amount of time Josh has been suffering from hallucinations, but if she says she's sorry again, she'll only sound ridiculous. "I'm glad you have a system," she says instead.

"This one is..." Her mirror image gives her a challenging look, as if daring to describe her. "I don't know... it's worse that you can't see her. It makes me wish she was an alternate instead."

Honey, you don't want that, trust me. Who'd be your friend if they had me around instead?

Adia keeps her hand firmly in Josh's. He's not about to leave her alone, even if she's being completely pathetic. There has to be a way out of this awful fog...

"Oh, my PINpoint!" Adia pulls what looks like a glorified stopwatch out of her coat pocket with her free hand. "This can take us back to the Plaza. Can you get where you need to go from there, or will you have to pass through this fog again?"

"Glad it's gonna be useful to someone other than me for a change."

Knowing his tested coping mechanisms are helping someone else nearly makes Joshua smile. Now isn't the time for such a thing, but he can't help the slight upwelling of confidence. That he knows how to help Adia even a little bit. He's useful to his friends. not just a burden.

"Tell her to suck your nonexistent dick and step off." josh turns away from where Adia is staring and takes a long look around the fog. He turns back when she mentions her PINpoint. "Back to the Plaza? Yeah, I can find my way around there. If it'll get us outta here by all means."

"It is," Adia says sincerely. "I could have been lost here by myself, or with someone who didn't understand what I was going through." Which, if she's being honest, she doesn't entirely understand herself. Did hallucinations really look and sound this real? Her mirror image is so vivid, so... so bright.

So much prettier, a voice whispers, but she can't tell if that's coming from the other Adia or herself.

Josh's vulgar suggestion brings a bit of color back to her face; she tries to ignore her doppelganger's raucous laughter as she puts her finger on one of the PINpoint's buttons. "You already have my hand, so that's good. Some people get a little nauseous when they teleport, just to warn you."

She taps the button. Nothing happens. Adia looks around in confusion before reading the error message on her PINpoint's tiny screen.

Service temporarily unavailable. Try again in 5 minutes.

"I... I don't understand. I've never had it not work in the Nexus." Her hand twitches, like she might pull away from Josh's grip in embarrassment. It's the one thing she could have done to help, and she blew it.

Somebody frakked u~up, her mirror image sing-songs. Guess who's become a little too reliant on her PINpoint?

Adia clutches the PINpoint hard enough to turn her knuckles white. "Shut up," she whispers. "It's not my fault."

"I'm used to nausea. Gun it."

Josh gives Adia's hand a reassuring squeeze while she fumbles with the device in her hand--her PINpoint Josh assumes. Nothing happens. He can see shock and fear on Adia's face and knows before she says anything that it wouldn't be so simple. He fumbles with his free hand to reach for his phone and turn on the flashlight function to give them a bit more light in this place.

"Come on. Leave her here. We'll fin our own way out if we have to."

"I'm sorry," Adia says softly, unable to look Josh in the eyes. "I can try again in five minutes. M-maybe it'll work then..."

Or maybe he'll get bored and leave you here instead, her doppleganger comments blithely. Wouldn't be the first time!

The light from Josh's phone bounces off the thick fog, giving it an even more eerie glow. However, one direction seems less populated by the tall slabs of reflective ice. Maybe that's the best way to go.

"What if she follows us?" Adia half-whispers, turning away from her mirror image and letting Josh lead her wherever he chooses. "How do you learn to ignore them?"

"It's fine. We'll figure this out."

Josh is glad there's A direction that seems to have less of those godawful ice mirrors than the rest of this place. It's as good a direction to go in as any with nothing else to go on in this place. The cold is starting to seep into Josh's clothes. He hadn't been dressed for an hours long excursion outside. This was supposed to have been just a quick trip to get food.

"We can't stop her if she does." There's sympathy in his tone and in those green eyes when he looks over his shoulder at his friend. "...I uh...I don't. Very well. If we're bein' honest."

"O-okay." Adia is going to let Josh take the lead on this, both literally and figuratively. She tucks her useless PINpoint away and adjusts the scarf around her neck, trying to keep out more of the cold.

It's the answer she expected, not that it makes it any easier to hear. She squeezes his hand a little, at his admission. "So... so what do you do, then?"

"I don't...always know it's not real. So, I treat 'em like anyone else. I tend to assume most shit I see isn't real unless it proves it is. Touch. Things I can touch, things that hurt me. Physically. That I know is real. but I don't know half of my friends in the Nexus are real or just more hallucinations, waiting to turn from nice to nasty the minute I let my guard down."

Josh doesn't want to tell Adia what he does. How he screams at things to get away from him because they're not real. How he digs his nails into his hands until he breaks skin to see if they disappear or not. How sometimes even that doesn't help.

"So I just act like nothing is real."

It sounds hard; both living like that and admitting it to her. She wishes she had something to say that would ease his burden, something sympathetic, but her own mental issues seem insignificant compared to his. "Things that can hurt you?" she echoes instead, her voice soft and uncertain. "Even in the Nexus?"

You're way too much of a wimp to try that, her doppelganger scoffs. Adia hazards a glance back. The other her is still there, but not quite keeping pace. Some of the fog has obscured her features.

She remembers her hand in Josh's. "So you know I'm real," she says with a small, relieved smile. "You've known since the Halloween party, when you helped me with my make-up." She looks him in the eyes. "Josh, if I'm ever nasty to you, it's not me. It would never be me."

"They can, if you let 'em. I want them to. Prove they're Real. It's worth the pain."

It doesn't work though because the people who are real refuse to hurt him, just like those that aren't. Still Josh feels like it's a good system. He hasn't thought of a better one, at least.

"Yeah." Josh exhales a breath that condenses into a cloud in front of his face. "Everyone's nasty to me. Even Chris. I think those might be dreams though. Hallucinations. Sometimes, it's hard to tell."

"I thought touch was enough," Adia asks quietly, her voice worried and confused. She wonders if Josh is trying to punish himself somehow. She doesn't know how his sisters died, or how he ended up starving nearly to death in a collapsed mine, but she can empathize with wanting to blame oneself for all of life's losses.

Or maybe it's a guy thing, a macho way of fighting against fear. She gives him another small, sympathetic smile. "That won't work with me. I've never thrown a punch in my life."

Maybe that's why you're so easy to push around, her doppelganger calls out, but Adia doesn't turn around this time.

There's a spot in the fog in front of them where the light from Josh's phone cuts through instead of bouncing back. Looks like they might be on the right path.

"Sometimes it is. Most times, even."

Josh nods along with what Adia's saying. When things are Bad, nothing helps. Sometimes not even pain. Her guess about his desire to punish himself isn't wrong in the slightest. No one hates Joshua Washington more than he hates himself. His worst enemies can only dream that they could hate so vitriolically.

"...Yeah, most everyone refuses to try. It makes things hard." But Josh hasn't let go of Adia's hand. Despite the discomfort he has about the subject matter, he's doing his best to keep her focused on him and not the voices in her head.

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