On getting back up

[heirtothedragonsfire]

While it's not as rare these days to see the patron without her brother, it's still not common for her to stop and address the Nexus. More often than not she has a mission in mind and is hard pushed to deviate from it. This time it seems she's changed her mind... Or more likely has taken time out specifically to accommodate this particular foray into the public eye.

As per usual, Isidor is dressed immaculately with her well cut business suit, a heavy necklace being the only contrast to the conventional attire. She has managed to find herself a seat with a table, somewhere to set her coffee while she talks. "Where do you find your strength when you're at your weakest? What do you do, who do you look for?"

Comments

[chiron_survivor]

"My friends," Adia answers simply. She immediately regrets responding, both for the simplicity of the answer and for bothering to approach this well-dressed woman at all. Adia's boots are mud-splattered and her coat is well-worn. Her hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail because the Cylons have restricted water usage in the settlement and she hasn't been able to wash her hair in days. No one is going to want advice from her.

She fiddles with the lid on her cup of coffee and quietly elaborates, "I talk to my friends and ask them for help, or advice. Sometimes just sharing my worries is enough to make me feel better."

[heirtothedragonsfire]

The answer makes Isidor smile and nod slowly. It's a good answer, but not one she can relate to all that well. She jumps into gesturing to another seat at the table. "Please, take a seat if you like."

She'll wait for the woman to make her decision before she continues. "Have you always done that? Does it always help?"

[chiron_survivor]

Adia hesitates only a moment before taking the offered seat. It reassures her that she isn't intruding. "Thank you," she says politely, setting down her coffee.

Isidor's follow-up questions are met with a small shrug. "Not always," she admits. "It doesn't help if you don't have any close friends... and even then, it's hard to, um... talk about how I'm feeling, if I'm feeling that low. I don't like burdening others."

[heirtothedragonsfire]

Again Isidor smiles and nods, but this time with more sympathy, her smile wry. "I can understand that. You can't help but feel like they're the ones who need you to be strong, that they need your support." Her smile sneaks a little wider and her fingers turn the coffee cup in her hands. "It leaves you between a rock and a hard place. I find that with my family. But someone needs to look after them."

[chiron_survivor]

Adia seems inclined to disagree, at least internally. Her desire not to share her troubles stems from a place of insecurity, to not want others to think that she's whiny or burdensome. But perhaps that's changed, at least in recent years. She does want to help others, so badly sometimes. She'd much rather tackle someone else's problems than her own.

"Is that why you asked your question?" she inquires gently. "Are you concerned about not being able to look after them?"

[lucifersvessel]

Sam wanders into the Nexus with a cup of coffee of his own, and he has a take-out container with some lunch inside of it. He's dressed up in a red button down shirt, a brown jacket, and a pair of jeans.

With a tilt of his head, Sam looks over to Isidor and he quickly answers her question. "My brother. He's one of the few people I can trust with my um." He clears his throat. "Problems." He looks around, and he finds himself a chair to sit himself down in. The turkey on rye in the take-out box can wait.

[heirtothedragonsfire]

She sips at her coffee as she waits for him to take his seat, but otherwise watches and listens attentively. "What about when he has own problems to work through? Do you still tell him yours?"

[lucifersvessel]

Sam makes himself comfortable in his seat, and he places the closed box on the table beside him. Taking a drink of his coffee, he knows exactly what to say when it comes to Dean and his problems.

"I tend to give him space, or well he tends to give himself space. But I don't think it would be right for me to burden my own problems on him."

[heirtothedragonsfire]

Her brow creases into a confused frown. "So when you both have problems and you both need strength… you have no one. What do you do then?"

[lucifersvessel]

"My brother will go drink himself into a coma. And me, I've been trying to meditate. The problem is trying to find people who would understand what leads to the two of us having problems."

Sam then looks up and he takes a deep breath, and in lowering, his head back down to give her a better look. "We're hunters. And most people don't think demons or ghosts are real. So finding people to talk to back home isn't always easy."

[asiswilled]

"Only those who cannot look within themselves are truly weak."

The business suit, accessories, and posture do little good to the blind man who has been sitting, unnoticed, on the ground against the brick wall of the coffee shop which this woman has exited in order to speak with the people. But the cadence of her voice and the emotions behind her words tell him enough.

The monk tilts his head to the side and offers her a smile.

"You are not such a person, I think."

[heirtothedragonsfire]

The voice comes from an unexpected place and Isidor turns to find the owner sitting on the ground. Bemused but intrigued, she faces him properly, tilting her head with her puzzlement easy to hear. "I'm not a person who's mistaken enough to think I can't get any stronger, or think I'm the strongest."

She shifts her weight to one leg. "If we're not as strong as we can be, doesn't that amount to the same thing as weakness?"

[asiswilled]

"Having room to grow does not mean the same as weakness."

The monk's smile shows genuine amusement and he holds onto his walking stave tightly as he gets to his feet and takes a moment to brush the dirt from his clothes. When he looks up again the smile has softened to something far more appropriate for a serious conversation between adults.

"It is good that you think to look for allies. Knowing there is strength in numbers is not a weakness either. My allies are not yours, but they serve the same purpose. If you are too hard on yourself, you may miss the objectives you can complete and thus keep growing."

[heirtothedragonsfire]

Part of her wonders if she should offer him help as he stands, but the another considers it kinder to allow him dignity instead.

'Allies' though. What a term. What a thought. "Looking outwards for strength is a bad idea if ever I heard one. I look for consultation on strength, not allies to supply it for me."

[asiswilled]

"Not only outward. Just as a tree cannot grow in a vacuum, neither can we flourish in isolation. Ask yourself why you are lacking. What you are lacking in. Seek those who have it. Learn from them."

The monk can't quite help but to chuckle though at her stubbornness. He leans forward slightly, smile evident on his face.

"I too, have been accused of being headstrong though. The desire to prove oneself is strong."

[protolawyer]

One well-dressed Nexusgoer addressing another, except one of them is scraping just four feet tall and has a big ol' green head.

"Usually just get ripped on coke. Does wonders in helping with that final push and clearing your desk."

Oh. Well. How candid.

[heirtothedragonsfire]

There are times when candid is refreshing and there are times it should be abandoned for subtlety. Isidor isn't quite sure yet which time this is.

She waits for a punchline before lifting an eyebrow. "And you dig into the whiskey if that doesn't work?"

[protolawyer]

"Only if that's the fuel for a well-deserved blackout, and even then, chua nap-nap juice is king in getting you there. If you want to keep trucking and OR fucking, reaching for drink is some bitch shit. Phineas gave us two nostrils for a reason, sweetheart. Second bump is a second wind."

Surely this is an infinite wellspring of motivation that will never have issues or consequences. Fulfilling too.

[heirtothedragonsfire]

Isidor is politely skeptical up until the moment he calls her 'sweetheart'. Her face drops and she draws herself to full height, tilting her chin up despite having to look down at him.

"Addiction and dependency aren't any kind of strength."

[protolawyer]

"Said like a true straightedge! But seriously, if you ever want to party, just ask around for Shark. Litigation and Prosecution Specialist Lawyer if you're nasty." Yes, that is his full name. "You'd be pretty cute if you weren't so...what's the word. Severe? Let's go with that."

This little slimeball seems completely unfazed with being the small fry here in terms of stature. His crass bravado makes him a big deal regardless, right?

[weathering_it]

"Doesn't it depend on what sort of strength you need?"

The especially tall woman who asks the counter-question casually invites herself to a place at the table across from Isidor, where she sits with one leg crossed over the other and both hands on her knee. She has a smile on her buck-toothed face like a woman who knows something no one else is privy to, a certain kind of dramatic irony one doesn't often experience in life. Of course, she does know something – namely, that she knows who Isidor is, whereas Isidor has only ever seen her once, and not quite looking herself at that. Still, how many rabbit-toothed blonde women with vaguely Texan accents and suspiciously familiar horsey faces can there really be in the Nexus?...

She's content to sit expectantly for a few long seconds before she follows up saying, "Not every kind of strength is the same, after all, isn't that right?"

[heirtothedragonsfire]

Isidor has to do her best not to look too surprised at the confident approach and large smile on the other woman's face. It's... different. Refreshing, she decides. So she smiles back, albeit more demurely than the 'stranger'. There is something, though... something she can't quite put her finger on.

"No, you're right," she agrees. "But isn't there one place you find your strength again when nowhere else can help?"

[weathering_it]

"You're gonna hate me for sayin' this," Anna chuckles guiltily as she pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. "But when things are at their worst, and I've already gone to other people for help, and no one's got anything to give me, and I feel too weak to go on, I... Wait."

She shrugs her shoulders and looks at the table, still (poorly) hiding her embarrassment with a small, queasy smile. "When I don't feel strong enough to change something, and everything feels out of my control, I remind myself that sometimes it is. Sometimes there are things that just happen, and all you can do is wait for them to be over. Everything always ends eventually."

Looking up once more she feels she has to say, "It's enough to survive, at least."

[heirtothedragonsfire]

The first comment is met with a frown. She can't quite pin down why it's as strange as it is, but by the time the other woman has finished talking she's frowning because she's right; She doesn't approve. She doesn't hate the woman by any means, but the sentiment isn't one she understands.

"And if you can't outlast what you're waiting out? Or if you might have swayed the outcome to a better one?"

[weathering_it]

"I've outlasted everything that's happened to me," comes her immediate response, not quite a brag, yet not exactly humble either. "It's not hard to wait if you believe there's going to be a better future on the other side."

Questions of changing outcomes she pointedly ignores. Some fantasies are fruitless and not worth distracting from a serious conversation.

"Are you asking for a reason?" Laughing gently she adds, "I hope you're not looking for strength here at a café. Though, since I've come here, I've learned that an awful lot of folks drink an awful lot of coffee to get them through the hardest parts of their lives – the mornings."