nexus_crossings | Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

Adia is sitting at a computer terminal in the Plaza with a pint of cookie dough ice cream and a carton of boxed wine, watching cute animal videos online and occasionally wiping at her red-rimmed eyes with the back of her hand.

It's every bad break-up cliché, but Adia does not care. After recently experiencing the (second) worst day of life, she needs a break. And unfortunately, the only place she can get that is the Nexus.

She clicks on a thumbnail of a hamster eating a tiny burrito and takes a swig of wine while it loads. "How do you get over someone," she asks the Nexus unhappily, "When they've clearly gotten over you?"

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There's only one person she's met in the Nexus who had to worry about an arranged marriage, and to hear that it's happening breaks her heart. She covers it with a smile to answer Adia's question instead. "They do, on both counts. My parents, in fact, married because they were in love. My mother called her parents' bluff about never speaking to her again if she chose to be with my father rather than let them find someone for her." The corner of her lip pulls up into a smirk. "When I was a teenager, they moved to a new city across the sea to "be with other family," but my mother told me they were upset that she was so happy with a choice they were so unhappy with." It's where Amelia's satisfaction from proving people wrong comes from, and she feels like the trait suits her well.

She blinks a few times, confused by the pat to her hand. Did she really do that right? That might be a first. "It's not really an easy thing to do," she offers with a reassuring smile as she regains her composure, "but you'll know when it has to be made as that time comes. Stay strong in the days that follow, and don't turn back. Your friends will be your greatest assets when you think about it and it begins to hurt. All you have to do is reach for them."

It's good advice that she wishes she could've had before she cut her world off from the Nexus. Not that she had (or has) many friends at the time, but she could've reached out more - or even tried, for that matter. Adia seems like a good person, though, and the rogue is certain a woman as warm and open as the one who sits in front of her now must have a wealth of friends here. Someone like Adia attracts the generosity of others in this place of misfits and lost souls.

Her face softens slowly as she draws back her hand from Adia's knee. "I hope that you don't have to go through something like what you experienced at the hands of the man who wasn't your lover again. No one deserves something like that, especially someone who seems as kind as you." They don't know each other well yet, but Amelia is certain Adia's done nothing to deserve the harshness life has thrown at her recently. It's far too much for someone so pure of heart.

Best that Adia is currently unaware of Amelia's heartbreak or she'd be paralyzed with guilt for even obliquely mentioning her friend. Instead, she listens avidly to the other woman's story, eyes wide. "Wow... your mom was so brave. That's awesome. She must have really loved your father."

What would have happened, Adia briefly wonders, if Caspar had decided to fight his Cylon heritage and be with her? Would Adia have been as brave as Amelia's mother, willing to face disapproval and condemnation from her fellow humans?

She doesn't know. Even after half a carton of wine, she doesn't know.

"That's why I came here," she admits, focusing on Amelia's words of advice instead of her own troubled thoughts. "Not just for the wine and the ice cream. I have friends on New Caprica, but... I figured if anybody truly understand, it'd be people here. I've made some very good friends here." She smiles shyly at Amelia, who she already considers a new friend. "And then, even people who don't even know me come along and say nice things. It helps."

There is a small blush on Adia's face from the compliment. "Thanks. I don't want to go through that again, either." She blinks. "Oh, but he wasn't the one who interrogated me, though. That was a different Cylon model, a Three. Caspar's model was the one walked me out of the detention center. He came and got me before things got too scary..."

She trails off, staring into the middle distance as she works out that funny little coincidence. How fortuitous of him to stop the interrogation just as Three was turning her intrusive questions into subtle threats. Few people left the detention center so easily. It didn't make any sense that a Five, a model notorious for its contempt of humans, would be the one to rescue her, but then that would mean that it was Caspar.

But then why did he push her?

Adia sighs heavily and helps herself to some more wine before adding shakily, "A-anyway. I was lucky. It's much worse for someone actually in trouble. Much worse can happen in the detention center. It's awful."

"She would say she was stubborn more than brave, and that I'm just like her." Amelia huffs a small laugh and shakes her head. "I'm not sure I can agree with her on anything more than the 'stubborn' part, though. I'm not very good at doing things for myself." Not in ways that matter, anyway. Being selfish is easy, but taking care of herself, or even being selfish for reasons that make sense? Damn near impossible for the rogue.

Her lips tug into a smile as Adia continues to speak. It's obvious how difficult it was for the woman to step away from what happened to her and come here, to seek out the help she needed. But she still did it. True, she picked up some indulgences for herself along the way, but isn't that part of helping yourself? Knowing when to do things that, while not "good" for you or your physical well-being, are good for you? Despite what the woman may think of herself, Amelia thinks Adia is incredibly brave. Some small part of her feels a pang of jealousy - she could never be as brave as her own mother or the woman sitting in front of her clutching her ice cream and wine.

"You're a true survivor, then," she notes approvingly. "That's no small feat. You not only physically survived, but you made it to a place where you find safety and comfort. Not everyone can manage so much, or so well, on their own." It's a slight against herself to say such a thing, but she can't deny the truth of it. She still struggles with herself every day and the number of days she spends grieving all the things that she's been through - alone, and without telling anyone of her pain - are not few.

Adia has only just met Amelia, she can't reassure her of her bravery, as much as she'd like to. "I think you have to be at least a little stubborn to be brave," she says finally, briefly regretting that extra sip of wine as she sets down the carton. "And I think it's incredibly brave to go after what your heart wants."

She'd vociferously disagree with the other woman's assessment, which is a form of bravery in and of itself, as Adia hates disagreeing with anyone. But her, brave for hiding in the Nexus with her wine and ice cream and cutesy animal videos? She knows, deep down, that it was the right decision to come here, determined as she was to comfort herself, but she would not call it brave. "I'm lucky," she decides, blushing at the compliment. "That I can come here, and get a little break..." The true test of bravery will be if she can return to New Caprica. Which will regrettably be soon, as she can only spend so much time away before it looks suspicious to those who are familiar with her routine.

She laughs softly at that. "Both truths, though I've never been good at going after what I want." For others in the name of an end goal for herself? Yes. Directly for herself? Not really. And the last time she did try for something directly for herself... well... It ended quite poorly, if one's being delicate about their choice of phrasing.

"Lucky isn't a bad thing to be at all. Not everyone can boast that." Amelia would claim that her own lack of luck was obvious to anyone who took a good luck at her life, but it's hard to sift through what comes down to bad luck rather than her own poor decision making skills. (She didn't earn the title of Queen of Bad Decisions overnight, after all.) Still, the ability to think oneself lucky is a powerful thing, even if Adia doesn't understand that.

Her smile softens as she adds, "You have a lot more going for you than you realize, Adia. I'm certain that, when the time comes, you'll be able to face your world and everyone on it a lot better than you might believe possible." If the woman is even half again as strong and kind in spirit sober as she is now, it seems very likely to Amelia that she can handle more challenging situations.

"Oh... I'm sorry." That doesn't seem fair at all. Amelia seems like she has what it takes to get what she wants, and looking cool while doing it, too. "I'm not sure if I'm good at that, either. Except for work, maybe. But that's different."

"Depends on your definition of luck," she replies with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. Having your boyfriend turn out to be a Cylon doesn't seem very lucky. Escaping the genocide of the colonies does seem lucky, but Adia's survivor's guilt is too great to appreciate it. "But finding the Nexus... yeah, that was lucky of me."

Ultimately, her decision to return to New Caprica isn't much of a choice. Even at her lowest point, she won't abandon her friends and the rest of humanity. It's returning to her lab and facing her Cylon colleagues that has her the most anxious. But Amelia's words give her a burst of courage, a brief glimmer that maybe she'll make it through her heartbreak. It shows on her face, a hopeful shine in her eyes. "That... that means a lot, thank you."

Amelia shakes her head a little, causing the strands of her hair pin to tinkle musically. "There's no need. I simply never practiced when I was young and am therefore bad at it now. I could get better with time and effort, but..." Her shoulders rise and fall in a half-hearted shrug. "I find I'm better at helping others, and I'd rather do that then fail myself."

Now that's a familiar smile. It's the kind Amelia wears quite often. "When it matters most, you make it through on luck. That's a talent many wish they could have." Making it through something doesn't necessarily make it easier on the other side, but luck never seems to care about the consequences.

"You're welcome, Adia." A soft smile, and another, slightly less awkward pat on the knee. "If you need a break, you can always come back to the Nexus. All of your friends will be here to help. I can be, too, if you'd like, though you might have to drag me from the quiet of the library if you want to go out somewhere." She laughs softly at that, but it's completely true. Amelia's not much of a 'go out and do things' person anymore unless there's coin or research involved, so it's a safe bet one could find her in the library if she isn't hiding away in her room at the inn.

Adia never thought of going after what you want as a skill that needed to be practice, but it makes sense now that she considers Amelia's words. "That makes two of us," she says in a show of solidarity.

It's still not a talent Adia thinks she has, or that luck even is a talent, but she's not inclined to disagree over what could simply be a difference in semantics. And anyway, Amelia is patting her knee and talking to her again. "I'd rather stay in the library with you," she says with a small laugh. "If it's all the same. But I'll come look for you. I promise."

With a heavy sigh, she peers into the dregs of her ice cream pint. "I think it's time for me to go back... thanks for talking to me."

The rogue nods solemnly and pats Adia's knee one last time for good measure. "Whenever you make it back, come find me in the library. We can escape the hectic nature of multiverse together for a while." She smiles softly at the other woman and gets to her feet, cautiously offering her arm to Adia. "Come on, I'll walk you out to a nice quiet spot for you to use your PINpoint to head back. If you have a phone, I'll give you my number as well, to make it a little easier to find me when you're ready to hide away for a bit."

Maybe she's not very good at this whole 'being someone's friend' thing, but Amelia really wants to try for Adia. She's kind and sweet, and that sort of nature deserves the very best from everyone, even a stained sinner like the rogue.

The library is a place in the Nexus she doesn't visit as often as she should, and despite her current low opinion of the future, she looks forward to meeting Amelia there sometime.

She takes the other woman's arm gratefully, the effects of wine more pronounced now that she's back on her feet. "Thanks," she says, her steps a little unstable. "I don't have a phone anymore, but I think I can put your contact information on my PINpoint and text you."

"We'll find some way to make it work," she assures Adia as they walk along. If she notices the extra weight being put on her, she doesn't mention it. Helping others through their rough spots is something she's done long enough that it's second nature to her. Her smile warms a little more as she shifts Adia's grip on her arm to better stabilize the other woman. "I have no doubt that we'll see each other again soon, no matter how it happens."

"In better circumstances," Adia says with a small, hopeful smile. Although being comforted by a new friend isn't the worst way to meet someone. The Nexus has a way of bringing people together when they need it the most.

When they reach whatever quiet spot Amelia had in mind, Adia reaches into her coat pocket for her PINpoint, wobbling a little in place as she pulls it out and offers it to the other woman. "Here, just... the keys, just enter your name and number here and push the green button." That way Amelia doesn't have to get out her phone, and Adia doesn't have to struggle with the tiny buttons.

It's a simple matter to enter her name and the by now familiar phone number Amelia's had for a while now. The keypad is different than what she's used to, but nothing she can't fumble through sheet a few seconds' thought. Once that's been done, she hands Adia back her PINpoint with a small smile.

"There. Now you can text me whenever you'd like to meet again. If I don't answer you, search for me at the library. It's the easiest place to find me."

With that, the rogue carefully releases the other woman's arm she was holding to for support to let her set up the coordinates for getting back to her world. She'll stay out of Adia's way to give her an easier time of it, offering only a soft goodbye before she steps through the portal. Amelia hopes things get a little easier for Adia once she gets back, and that their next meeting isn't nearly as somber as the first has been.

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Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

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