Remembering the Dead

[sweetcandygirl]

Harley Quinn is seated on a large rock in the Nexus today. She seems to already to be in the Halloween spirit, as the colorful young woman is dressed as a circus ringmaster. But despite her colorful costume, her usual energetic spirit seems to be missing today.

She has a bouquet of flowers in her hand. And takes one of the flowers, then slowly removes the petals of the flower one-by-one, scattering them underneath her.

"This year is going to be the first time that I am not in Arkham, during a death-a-versary. And I am not really sure what I should do?" She bites her bottom lip for a moment. "How do you remember those who are gone, without letting the memories overwhelm you?"

Comments

[sweetcandygirl]

"I didn't say I didn't appreciate your answers."

Harley looks up at him. A little hurt. "I learned to laugh, so I wouldn't get hurt. I don't know how to stop. I wish I did."

[not_the_question]

"And does it do that? Does laughing stop the hurt?"

The Doctor is pretty sure it doesn't.

[sweetcandygirl]

"It did when it mattered." But she is trying to move on from her past. And the man who hurt her so much. She knows that she should not feel that need to laugh to protect herself. But she was treated like Pavlov's dog. Trained. Conditioned.

"It is hard to fight those compulsions."

[not_the_question]

"How? How did it help? Give me details. Be specific."

Because he's still not buying it.

[sweetcandygirl]

"If I laughed at his jokes, at his antics, at life in general... then Joker wouldn't hurt me." Harley shakes her head. "And the lies were easy to believe."

[not_the_question]

Oh... He didn't know torture was involved.

"He was wrong to do that to you. But I'm not him. You don't have to pretend around me."

[sweetcandygirl]

She keeps her head down for a moment. "I know you ain't him."

"I will try." But right now, there is a part of her that is still scared of Joker coming back for her.

"Moving on from him..." Her voice is cold. Distant. "Should be easier here. He can't find me here."

[not_the_question]

"Is that what you're trying to remember without the overwhelming feelings? That he hurt others?"

Something the Doctor knows well with the Master.

[sweetcandygirl]

"Someday, I will work on that trauma..."

"But today, I was just thinking of a friend of mine. The Day of the Dead is coming up." Harley explains softly.

[not_the_question]

He hums quietly in thought.

"Well, yes, I figured that much. This Joker wasn't involved with that?"

[sweetcandygirl]

"No. I had thought Joker was dead at the time."

"It was the team's first Suicide mission. And Diablo protected us. He burned himself up... protecting us."

[not_the_question]

"I see. I'm the wrong person to ask, then. You should ask... people who've watched me do that."

He's usually the one dying, after all.

[sweetcandygirl]

"You have sacrificed yourself a lot, in the past?"

[not_the_question]

"You could say that. I have a... talent. Makes it a bit easier to save others."

He's really not comfortable talking about this, sorry.

[sweetcandygirl]

She gets the hint.

"You have given me a lot to think about. Doctor."

[not_the_question]

"Well, one of the reasons they call me the Doctor."

He offers a bit of a grin. If only to show it's really not all bad.

[sweetcandygirl]

"So... think I could thank ya' with a hug?"

[not_the_question]

"I'm.... Not really the hugging sort."

He looks her over, though.

"But, I suppose I can make an exception."

He stands with his arms held open somewhat awkwardly.

[sweetcandygirl]

"I know you ain't..." Harley waits for a moment. Then gives him a real smile when he agrees. She moves closer to give him a warm hug. She is good at hugs.

"It was why I asked first."

[not_the_question]

It takes him a minute to wrap his arms around her. It's not quite as awkward as his first appearance made it seem it would be.

"You asking is partly why I agreed."

[sweetcandygirl]

"You do have a lot of good ideas. And I will find a way to make things better..." Harley whispers. She leans her head on his shoulder.

[not_the_question]

"Sometimes you can't make them better. You can only accept how they are."

He raises a hand to cup the back of her head. Something about her sometimes reminds him of Susan.

[sweetcandygirl]

She closes her eyes at the sensation of his hand behind her head. "I do want to move on. Move forward."

"I just have to learn how to accept what I can't change. And change what I can."

[not_the_question]

"That's one approach. It works most of the time."

Except those times when you think you've accepted something and haven't, so you turn into an idiot and change the biggest thing that must not be changed.

[sweetcandygirl]

Harley nods slightly. "Sounds like pretty good odds. I have been in worse odds and got out..."