rumham (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rumham) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
nexus_crossings2018-01-18 11:54 am
rumham) wrote in nexus_crossings2018-01-18 11:54 am
Language LOL: Translator Malfunction
You know what's cool? Chatting with your pals. Reading the Internet. Navigating the roads because you can understand the Gods-damned street signs. You know what's not cool? Not being able to do any of that. By that metric, one might describe today in the Nexus decidedly uncool.
It's utterly without warning that the multiversal hub goes from automatic to manual translation. Shop signs, radio and television broadcasts, conversations on the streets between vendors and friends and businesspeople are suddenly a jarring cacophony of dissonant languages. Then there's the silence. Then there's the shouting. Turns out people get pissed off when nobody understands them!
Momentary chaos dies down as the average people of the Nexus come to grips with their new situation. Shopkeepers wait outside their stores and stands with expectant expressions, impatiently waiting for the translator to pull itself together and start working again.
Except...
It sort of doesn't.
No, it super doesn't.
Citizens of the Nexus, it would appear you're going to have to adjust...
((The temporary LANGUAGE LOL is now underway! It's freeform fun until you're done and participation is completely optional. Don't feel like this event should stop you from making threads which are unaffected by the LOL in the mean time. If you want your Language LOL'd character to interact with a non-LOL thread, please ask the OP if they want to play that dynamic first. For the OOC and organization post, GO HERE. ))
It's utterly without warning that the multiversal hub goes from automatic to manual translation. Shop signs, radio and television broadcasts, conversations on the streets between vendors and friends and businesspeople are suddenly a jarring cacophony of dissonant languages. Then there's the silence. Then there's the shouting. Turns out people get pissed off when nobody understands them!
Momentary chaos dies down as the average people of the Nexus come to grips with their new situation. Shopkeepers wait outside their stores and stands with expectant expressions, impatiently waiting for the translator to pull itself together and start working again.
Except...
It sort of doesn't.
No, it super doesn't.
Citizens of the Nexus, it would appear you're going to have to adjust...
((The temporary LANGUAGE LOL is now underway! It's freeform fun until you're done and participation is completely optional. Don't feel like this event should stop you from making threads which are unaffected by the LOL in the mean time. If you want your Language LOL'd character to interact with a non-LOL thread, please ask the OP if they want to play that dynamic first. For the OOC and organization post, GO HERE. ))
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"Uh... English, ja," he says hesitantly, running through the annoyingly brief German phrases he knows to try to come up with something useful. "Spreken Sie, uh, Russisch?" Hey, it's a long shot, but if this guy knows German and maybe-Swedish then it's worth a try, right? "Я думаю, вы приняли меня за кого-то другого."
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A few seconds pass before he needs to confirm. He touches his fingertips to his lips and draws his hand away, spreading his fingers as he does. Then he points at Jim and skeptically. "Von der Ærth? Bist du positiv?"
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Might as well try the other languages he's fluent in; maybe they'll hit it lucky, since English and Russian don't seem to be doing the trick. "Stariben tu vuhlkansu? Gen il pa An'dorii?"
Shit, where the hell is the other Jim when you need him?
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Jim looks up from his PADD and grins when he sees Harrowheart chatting up his counterpart. Seems like the younger captain's had plenty to keep himself occupied with since Jim ran off to do some recon.
"Harrow! Hey!"
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/179/536/c7f.gif
Wh...
H...
Jim? Jim is standing there now? No. Noooo. He turns back to the bearded Jim, then to the beardless Jim, then just... Off. Off into the middle distance between them, eyes glazed over, lips parted, breathless and utterly immobile. He's blue screening, captains.
Ah, but there's someone who does know what's going on here. Someone, or, perhaps more properly, something. The lichfire in the eyes of Harrow's runeblade's skull burst to flaming life as the Jim it knows arrives. Hello there, thief. Pest.
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Jim's head snaps back around to look at the guy who's been getting all buddy-buddy with him, eyes narrowing, the name ringing so many bells it might as well be a Red Alert klaxon. His counterpart had called the undead canoid in the Nightmare Harrowheart. A canoid with disembodied fucking hands and glowing blue eyes. A canoid that was apparently a werewolf, which means he had a human form.
A human form much like this one, perhaps?
He'd been reluctant to move away out of politeness, but now Jim shrugs off that floating hand in a heartbeat and steps out of grabbing range, eyeing him with some measure of mistrust. Not that he thinks he's gonna get attacked right here, right now, but man, first impressions matter, right? The sword looking all evil and shit all of a sudden - well, more evil - doesn't exactly help. "I've been trying to tell him I'm not you."
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Jim tucks the PADD away and tries not to narrow his eyes when his counterpart moves swiftly out of the way as though the death knight had stepped in something smelly. What's that reaction for--oh. Oh, right. Fuck.
It's difficult to keep everything that's going on suddenly in focus. Especially when Harrow's sword flares to life upon Jim speaking up. That gets a definitely Look from Jim. Fuck you Runeblades and the horse you rode in on. You're damn lucky Harrow needs you around. He needs to make a point of asking Harrow to leave those things behind when he hangs out with Jim and Felix again. If he does that ever because man that's going to be weird too, isn't it?
It's gotten incredibly awkward in here suddenly.
"Harrowheart. It's me." He gives the deathknight a knowing look. Mimes pulling an arrow back and letting it go. He's the Jim you went on a grand horrible adventure with, remember? Turning to his younger counterpart, Jim tries to sound comforting.
"He's really a good guy. He wasn't himself back there. I wouldn't have put us in danger like that if he was really like that all the time."
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Wait, wait, hold up. The other Jim is miming archery, which can only mean one thing. THAT is the man he knows. Slightly embarrassed and sufficiently confused he stows away his middle finger and crosses his arms while the Jims converse.
"Jim... und Jim. Ja, okay. Okay." Evidently not okay judging by the sarcastic tone. He has to turn around and pinch the bridge of his nose as he thinks this over. Did he know there were two Jims? This feels like news to him. He's certain he's never seen him with a clone...
"Ah!" He shouts, suddenly wheeling around. He shakes a pointed finger at the two of them. He DOES know where he's seen two Jims! When the Jim he knows was split into two in the Nightmare! Light, the effects must not have worn off yet. What a predicament.
Harrowheart puts his cold fingertips on Bearded Jim's arm -- the one he bit, of course -- and delicately and sincerely apologises, "Ewiddan, Jim." A few seconds and he thinks to add, "Hähnchenflügel Jim."
Then he turns to the Jim he knows and, pinching his own stomach, says, "Dick Jim."
"Nicht Jim und Jim, okay? Hähnchenflügel und Dick."
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"I'm sure he's a... perfectly friendly guy when he's not trying to eat people," Jim reluctantly agrees, though he still keeps a somewhat wary eye on him. It makes it all the harder not to flinch away when Harrowheart approaches and puts his hands on him again, looking like he's had some kind of epiphany. And then... what? Jim's German is bad, but he'd swear that that means chicken. Chicken something, anyway. That's confusing enough before he breaks out an unflattering name for the other captain, and Jim's eyebrows make a break for his hairline.
"Wow, rude."
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Did...did this asshole just call him 'the fat one'? Forget about the whole 'dick' thing. Sure he doesn't go running goddamn marathons like the other one tends to but...And he was sticking up! For Harrowheart!
How fitting then that the only words Jim knows in German are the words most apt for this exact situation.
"Du Fickfehler." He seethes, shoulders tense as a rod. "Why do I even bother trying to be fucking nice to you? You've been a total asshole even before this shit with Felix!"
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The insult Jim just levied at him tumbles through Harrowheart's mind, bashing up his thoughts like a flail. A fucking mistake. He barely hears the foreign words Jim berates him in after that, but he does catch Felix's name. Is that what this is about? It is, isn't it? He's holding what Felix did against him and blowing up over a joke.
Harrowheart's hurt and confusion slip away to cold-eyed, tight-lipped glaring. His nostrils flare, and he points an accusatory finger at Jim. He hasn't got the wherewithal to translate his Common words that he presses through grit teeth. "Fuck you, Jim. You and Felix both, you couple of self-important goat-fuckers. It was a joke. A joke. For a laugh! You know? 'Hah-hah!' But if I hear you call me Fickfehler one more time, I tell you what, ain't anyone gonna be laughin'."
Over his shoulder the lights of his runeblade's eyes grow brighter still. A fight! Oh, it's absolutely thriving!
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"Whoa, whoa, hey!" Jim may be wary as fuck of Harrowheart still, but this isn't the first time he's jumped into the line of fire to keep the heat off his doppelganger. With this very zombie, in fact. There may not be much space between them, but he takes a step between them, making him impossible to ignore. "Do you two really want to find out the hard way if the anti-violence field is down too?"
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In what world is humiliating Jim in front of his younger companion supposed to be a fun joke between friends? Jim's bristling, grinding his teeth and ready to step way too far into Harrowheart's personal space and say something even more venomous when his companion is between them suddenly and easing Jim back with a hand on his chest.
It nearly gets the brunt of Jim's verbal assault thrown toward the younger one instead but Jim checks his tongue at the last minute and takes the step back. Glowers at Harrowheart for a moment before very clearly turning away from the death knight.
"Forget about him, he's clearly not in the mood to be fucking civil."
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When the Jim he knows steps back Harrowheart snorts. Jim mumbles something Harrow doesn't understand and Harrow mutters back in Common, "Yeah, fuck you too, Jim..."
Oh. Right. Two Jims. He gestures vaguely to the bearded one and half-heartedly assures him, "Du bist okay."
And with that he's on his way. Let Jim spend time with himself if that's how he wants it.
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Jim throws his hands in the air in clear frustration of the whole thing. He's seriously pissed off now and the adrenaline has him pacing even before Harrowheart is out of sight.
"We've fought some really bad shit together. He's saved my life and I've saved his. We've shared beers and just hung out before, but lately..."
Jim doesn't know.
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"Can't say I'm sorry to see him fuck off right now either."
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Jim shakes his head.
"Not since we all trekked to Tamriel to get Harrowheart's runeblades back for him. The sword in his back. It's two blades that can join together."
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There's still so much of this story Jim doesn't understand and never will. Things no one will tell him about the hows and whys. What Jim knows is that for whatever reason, they targeted Felix. Enticed him, empowered him when he needed to feel strong. They lied to him and were there for him when Jim wasn't. He failed Felix, and because of it...
"They're dangerous. They'll kill their wielder. Drain everything out of them. Their life, their soul...." Leave nothing but a pale lich, a puppet they can move at their leisure. Is that what's gotten into Harrowheart? Does he hate Jim now because the blades do? Have they stripped away more of his own willpower when they accepted him back? Already the guilt eats at Jim and he sighs bitterly.
"Don't ever touch them. I've already had to rescue someone close to me from their clutches."
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Either way, hearing what it does, he nods immediately. "Right, noted, don't touch the swords." He's been dead once before, and he never wants to do it again, let alone anytime soon.