nexus_crossings | Loki: Worst Matchmaker Ever?

Loki: Worst Matchmaker Ever?

Loki has a peculiar way of preparing to speak: he does not clear his throat or straighten his clothes or loosen his collar, but merely takes long, slow strides into an open spot. There are no stages in the area of the Nexus in which he finds himself, but the way he stands and opens his arms--all grace and hubris--seems to make the flat plain ground around him into his personal catwalk, the diffuse light around him his own personal spotlight.

You may not take him seriously, but you'd be hard-pressed not to notice his presence.

"Nexus, if I may bend your collective ears for a moment? I have a simple, if heartfelt, request."

~~I would like to see if my big brother is capable of feeling embarrassment.~~

"I am the younger sibling of Thor Odinson, a man--nay, a god--of great power, courage, and nobility. There are few who equal him in battle, and until now I would say few who equal him in the realm of the heart. Alas, it seems that at this time in his life, events in our world have wounded his confidence greatly. I wish to build him back up, so to speak, but my best efforts thus far have fallen flat."

"Frankly, I feel that his alteration in hairstyle, clumsy and poorly-planned though it may be, suits the peculiar shape of his head far better than his previous, doll-like golden tresses. There is a certain simplicity to his change of outfit that matches with the simplicity characteristic of his thought patterns. A change for the better, certainly, and moreover it shows his true mettle, the way he has no fear of appearing as the leader and representative of our people with his cape tattered at the hem and unmended, as if he has of late escaped from the engine of our borrowed space vessel."

"Nexus, friends, what more can I tell him to restore his pride? You will find him nearby, I think, if you wish to get a look at him, or if he finds himself too shy to observe this conversation I am certainly capable of producing images to show what he looks like. All compliments directed at him will be accepted with gratitude, and perhaps one of you will even find it in your heart to court him, however temporarily. I cannot guarantee he will be amenable, as he is so very timid of late, but I think it would do his heart well to experience a flirtation once more."

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Speaking of ruining the game... "It surprises me little that you find amusement in pretending I'm not here."

If not for the verbal sniping, it'd be pretty difficult to recognize the two of them as brothers, because the second speaker could not look more different from the first. Golden-haired as promised, shorn short and with odd patches like it was cropped with a machete, or someone with a very unsteady hand. Far broader in the shoulders than Loki, too, with far more muscle to back up his bulk. And one eye covered with a patch, the other glowering at Loki, unimpressed and rather determined not to let his brother completely ruin his reputation.

(Be careful what you wish for, Thor. You did ask, sort of.)

What the fuck.

"....Bullshit." Jim has to squint a moment trying to take this in. How the hell are these two related? But for the way they talk they couldn't be less alike. He was expecting, well. He was expecting something a lot more in line with the other pair of magic wielding brothers hanging around the Nexus but that is so not the case here.

And what's with this guy? He's built like a Klingon designing a human crossed with a maglev truck. His muscles have muscles. Jim, you're staring rather a lot.

"You're his brother?"

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Loki barely glances at Thor, cheerfully dismissive, before turning back to Kirk. Yyyeah, he's going to keep on finding that amusement.

Oh. Or maybe not, because now Thor is the one who has this man's full attention. Loki supposes that was only to be expected, but it's a little annoying all the same.

Sigh. "Yes, this is he. Thor Odinson, god of Thunder, et cetera." He makes a casual gesture as if introducing the two, gaze still on Kirk. "I did not catch your name, however."

"Happy to introduce me, hmm?" That didn't look very enthusiastic, Loki. But you promised you would be. You wouldn't lie, would you?

Thor's gaze, in turn, is mostly on Loki, though it flicks to the man in the golden uniform after a long moment. "He's telling the truth. This time."

"Jim Kirk, Starfleet Captain."

The kneejerk response is to claim the Enterprise as his own but since that's not the case anymore and since Jim is altogether stunned by the god in front of him that wound doesn't dig quite so deeply right now. How in the fuck...? His gaze shifts from Loki, who he doesn't know yet, to Thor and his mouth is hanging open ever so slightly.

When was the last time Jim took a lap around his circuit in Yorktown? Got his hair trimmed? Hit the gym? Does he really want to stick around and have people looking at that and then at him? What if Felix saw?

Jim shakes his head and tries to will away the desire to toss out half his pantry and turn just to the replicator for his meals again. At least those meals were designed specifically with a human body's daily needs without excess in mind. He needs to focus on something other than the physique of the god in front of him because it's killing this vain man to look at him for long.

"So if you're Thor then..." Jim glances back at Loki and that's an easier pill to swallow. "Are you also a god? You'd be one of his kin right?"

He said 'happy', not 'ecstatic', Thor. Loki stands by his statement! And, all right, it's annoying to vanish into his brother's muscular shadow again--even here, in the Nexus--but it might be worth it for the sake of observing Jim Kirk's reaction to him. Is that desire, envy, or simply admiration?

Further pursuit of backhanded compliments and thinly veiled insults will be useless in this conversation as it progresses further, he imagines. He'll have to find another tack.

He smiles. Smirks, really. "I see that my plea has not fallen upon deaf ears. Your expression is eloquent, Captain. Whatever you are thinking, I assure you, you don't know the half of it. But yes. I am Loki, his brother."

Trust Thor to ruin Loki's fun. He's become something of an expert at it over the centuries, though of course, Loki is nothing if not creative. Half the fun will be seeing just what new strategy he'll adopt to redirect the center of attention to swing in his favor.

"And the god of mischief," Thor adds, seizing upon the opportunity to cast his own doubts before his brother can hurry the conversation along. "So don't believe half of what he says." Maybe more, maybe less; depends on the day, doesn't it?

Oh Loki, why make a man choose? It's all three but very very much the envy. Of course, you wouldn't happen to know anything about envying your brother and the attention he garners, would you? Of course not, you're a God. Alas, Jim Kirk is but a man. A man currently getting a lesson in genetics and his own limitations. It stings a bit more than he expected is all.

But Jim's attention is shifting to Loki. Or at least trying to. Imagine if Thor had a chance for a proper set of clothes and a trim? How much worse would that be? ON second thought don't imagine that at all Jim. Just, best to leave the whole thing alone.

"I'm getting really mixed signals from you two. Do you...get along or not?" Not that this is a new question to be asked. He gets asked that about Bones and Spock all the goddamn time.

"You are a wet blanket, Brother," Loki says primly. "This is why you are having difficulty with courtship. Thor. Thor, when have I ever been the fun brother, until now? Are you not ashamed to cede the title to me?"

Seriously, bro. Loki dares you to go on a Nexus date. He triple-dog dares you.

His smile at Jim is dazzling. A little creepy, but dazzling. "Yes," he answers. "We either get along, or not."

"This may be a moment of 'not', I admit," he glances sideways at Thor. "Depending."

Thor is rather studiously ignoring that dare, his ego not so fragile that he needs bow to every challenge that comes his way (especially from Loki, let's be honest). Still, his current lack of paramour does give his brother a truly annoying and possibly endless span of ammunition to use against him. "I'm ashamed only of your lack of subtlety in your matchmaking."

That, at least, is an honest answer. Write down the date and time, everyone. "Depending," Thor agrees, eyebrows raised, "on whether or not he's trying to stab me again at the moment. Metaphorically or otherwise."

"Happily engaged, so that's a pass on the courtship thing. Just, you know. So everyone's clear. Sure you won't have any trouble finding a willing participant though if you are looking."

Not that Jim couldn't dump heaping platefuls of compliments on Thor at least aesthetically. He could. Oh, he so could. Among other things. But even aside from said fiance being a thing it would come with an equally hefty helping of self loathing and very unhealthy body image issues. Thor doesn't need that kind of baggage and neither does Jim.

He feels depressed enough just looking at Thor for more than a glance at a time. Shifting attention to Loki though means having a distinct feeling of deja vu the longer he talks to the God of Mischief. This guy definitely reminds him of someone he knows.

"Backhanded compliments or not, it seems like a pretty decent thing to do." Maybe it's because of that sense of familiarity that he's at least a little bit trying to cover for Loki now.

"Were I matchmaking for myself, I would operate differently," Loki tells Thor. He is really enjoying this. Far too much, probably. "But I did not realize subtlety was an art you appreciated, or that you were even aware of its existence."

"Are we not past the stabbing by now? Most of the time it was meant as a gesture of affection."

Oh, but is their new friend speaking up on Loki's behalf now? That makes this even better. "There are some who would not allow an engagement to stop them, but I see you are a man of honor and fidelity. I will not press. Mind you, a purely platonic night out might not be amiss, either."

He knows Thor misses Sif and the Warriors Three, after all, and--well, all right, there's no practical reason for him to encourage his brother to make Nexus friends. It's just opportunistic altruism here, for once. He needs to be more careful; he has a reputation to uphold.

"I can be subtle. Pulled one over on you, didn't I?" Sure, it wasn't an elaborate ruse with illusions and lies upon lies, but it worked, didn't it? And he won't deny it felt good to get the drop on Loki for a change, simple though it was.

He gives one hell of a side-eye at that remark though. "Are we past the stabbing?" It was so recent, Loki. Less than a decade, even!

This captain is hardly the first to be intimidated by the mighty Thor, but somehow it never quite loses its amusement. For either of them, it seems. Maybe moreso on Loki's part.

Make that definitely. "I'm not looking," Thor tells the captain, to make sure they're all on the same page. "Not taken, but not looking. Yet."

"There's plenty of folks who would laugh at the idea that I could be socially responsible but in this case, you've got the right of it." Not to mention Thor's quickly speaking up on his own behalf.

Jim could give them some pointers as to places to go for food or drink around here. There's no doubt about that. But it would mean spending more time with Thor and Jim's not so sure he's good for that just now. He's got to go see a guy about a gym schedule and other vain things.

"Well, he said he was trying to make you some friends too. You're in luck around here. Most folks are pretty friendly. Not all, but most."

Damn. Thor just scored a point, there. Loki grimaces, loath to acknowledge it, but unable to deny it. "One," he says. "You managed to trick me one time. I am still far in the lead."

Weird thing to brag about, but okay.

"We are past the stabbing, Thor," he says, completely straight-faced and serious, as if it is entirely his decision to move past this unfortunate remnant of their past. "You understand now that such actions are merely my way of expressing fraternal affection."

This is entirely plausible, considering it's been a pattern from their childhood. Loki has suffered some psychological blows of late that left him unbalanced, but he's never been anything close to sweetness and light, either. Or normal.

Meanwhile, though, he's getting the impression this human's trying to get away, and he's not inclined to let him go easily. "Are you not one of the friendly ones, then?" He asks him, complete with heavy overuse of his most charming smile. "I was the more deceived. A pity."

A point is a point, and Thor will run with it as far as Loki lets him. "For now," he says, allowing a hint of smugness to bleed through. "The century is young." With as long as they've been going round and round, another chance will come up eventually, right?

But okay, yeah, he can't deny that a little friendly stabbing between brothers has been a long standing habit. This is why Get Help is such a great strategy, Loki. A man's got to get his payback somewhere.

"Oh, he certainly said that, yes." Loki's idea of friends is a bit more... flexible than Thor's, of course.

Oh well dang. Jim kind of walked right into that one. He's here representing Starfleet after all, and on top of that he'd never hear the end of it if word got out that he was refusing to chat with friendly people. They might ~~rightly~~ get the idea he was jealous.

"I'm one of the busy ones who has a day job, unfortunately. Not so busy I can't do some new folks a solid though. Do gods eat? I know a few pretty great places around here for a meal or a drink. Might even be able to take any special friends you two make there later even."

Some day, Loki will come up with a way to pick Thor up bodily and fling him at an adversary. And then he will see what it's like. He could probably make it happen with magic, actually. It would take some practice and planning; Thor seems to be fairly resistant to his more occult skills.

Hmh. If he had thrown Thor into Thanos' face, would that have had any chance at all of affecting the outcome of their encounter with him? Probably not, but it would have been funny.

"We do," Loki grabs onto the encouraging shift in topic with both hands. "I myself have always had a taste for sweets. Thor here has a taste for...well, anything that's not nailed down, if I recall correctly."

Thor is pretty sure Loki meant that to be an insult, if an extremely tame one. It's just truth, though. It takes a lot of energy to harness a storm, and out in the field he can't always be picky about what he refuels himself with. "We can't all have your delicate constitution, brother."

Besides, Kirk just said something far more interesting, an opportunity to possibly turn the tables. "An excellent idea, captain. Come to think of it, Loki, when was the last time you had a special friend? You're long overdue, lest the mortals start spreading unsavory rumors about you again."

The brothers are bickering and talking as they will but Jim's gone rather quiet, staring hard at Thor in a much different way than he had been before. It's been a niggling thought at the back of his mind since the god of Thunder showed up but it took watching Thor when his head was turned and the eyepatch suddenly wasn't his most defining facial feature.

He smiles at his own joke toward Loki and it's George Kirk grinning in the picture his mother kept of them before Jim was born.

Thor Odinson is the physical embodiment of everything Jim can never be and he looks like a buff facsimile of Jim's father. If he actually went to a therapist for all the shit that's wrong with his head they'd have a field day with this.

"Y...yeah." Jim swallows. It takes actual effort for him to pull away and when he does it's nearly with a flinch. He needs to be anywhere but here, suddenly. "I know a place for sweets."

"It is a refined palate, not a delicate constitution. You were accused by Midgardians of attempting to drink an entire ocean, were you not? Do not bring up unsavory rumors with me, brother. I have just as many stories on you as you have on me." Despite the scolding, Loki's eyes are sparkling. He's genuinely enjoying this exchange.

"I can find my own special friends, thank you."

But he is not so absorbed in his entertainment that he fails to note the shift in Jim Kirk's expression. He is disturbed by something; Loki can't fathom what, but he has a split second to decide how to respond to it. Aggression and relentless needling will get him a long way, but a softer approach might get him further, and so he makes a dismissive gesture. "Indeed? Directions would be sufficient. I see I will have to keep a close watch on my bottomless pit of a sibling, but you need not suffer the tedium."

He tries to catch Jim's eyes with his, just long enough to let him know he's spotted that near-flinch, but not long enough to demand an explanation for it.

That can wait for later.

((Holy shmoly. I didn't realize Chris Hemsworth was literally in Star Trek.))

"Probably....for the best I don't go with. The Crossroads is the most popular place for desserts in the Nexus but the owner and I aren't what you'd call friends. He's a good guy, just. Well, you'll see."

Loki will be able to see Jim's face turn a shade or two paler when he catches the god watching him. The captain tries very hard not to let anyone see him as anything other but cool and in control. Being found out by a stranger makes his stomach drop ever so slightly and his entire posture tense for a moment. He nods ever so slightly, grateful for the Out.

"The Nexus has a....a bad habit of fluctuating but the Crossroads is in a brick building right up the main strip here on the busier end of the Plaza. Just past it are all kinds of shops and stalls so it's hard to miss."

He's avoided looking directly at Thor again while he gives his directions but he does flash the god the briefest of glances and a smile that's as practiced as it is forced. Jim's no stranger to faking it. "I recommend the fruit tarts. H...have fun."

Time to Go.

"And if the oceans had been made of mead, perhaps it would've been worth trying." For all their fights over the last several years, Thor still misses trading banter with Loki, and has also jumped at the opportunity to trade barbs that aren't meant to pierce quite so deeply. One last time for the road, maybe.

Something's changed in the captain's demeanor, not that Thor has the slightest clue why. Maybe he's suddenly remembered he left the iron on at home. That seems to happen a lot with humans. In any case, it's probably got little to do with him, right? He gives a brief wave of farewell, since it seems something is prompting a hasty retreat. "Thank you. It was nice meeting you." Even if it was because Loki was trying to set him up with lonely strangers.

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Loki: Worst Matchmaker Ever?

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Breaking post order to Mash 'Escape' on this Entounter

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