Adia Costas (
chiron_survivor) wrote in
nexus_crossings2017-03-06 09:04 pm
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Now you're just somebody that I used to know.
Adia is sitting at a computer terminal in the Plaza with a pint of cookie dough ice cream and a carton of boxed wine, watching cute animal videos online and occasionally wiping at her red-rimmed eyes with the back of her hand.
It's every bad break-up cliché, but Adia does not care. After recently experiencing the (second) worst day of life, she needs a break. And unfortunately, the only place she can get that is the Nexus.
She clicks on a thumbnail of a hamster eating a tiny burrito and takes a swig of wine while it loads. "How do you get over someone," she asks the Nexus unhappily, "When they've clearly gotten over you?"
It's every bad break-up cliché, but Adia does not care. After recently experiencing the (second) worst day of life, she needs a break. And unfortunately, the only place she can get that is the Nexus.
She clicks on a thumbnail of a hamster eating a tiny burrito and takes a swig of wine while it loads. "How do you get over someone," she asks the Nexus unhappily, "When they've clearly gotten over you?"
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He looks at her earnestly. "Our scars make us who we are, Adia. It will hurt and it's natural and good to feel the sadness and anger of what he did to you. You will learn from it and it will be a part of you. The pain will dull, but all scars ache. What's done is done, but you have your whole life ahead of you when you're ready to look forward again."
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Reynard's advice is a hard pill to swallow, even if he's right. "What if I don't want the lesson it's teaching me?" she asks softly, her gaze drifting away. "I want to move on, but I don't want to have to hate him..."
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"If you don't hate him, then don't hate him," Reynard tells her gently with a slight shake of his head. "You can be sad, disappointed, remorseful, but you don't have to hate him. Find a different lesson in this."
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She pulls back, ostensibly to take another sip of wine, but also to muddle through her thoughts. She knows Reynard's heart is in the right place, but if there's a lesson to be learned here, she can't find it.
"Everyone else hates him," she says flatly. "I mean, they hated him already, but when I told Maggie what happened, I thought she going to march over to the detention center and strangle him with her bare hands." The mental image does bring a brief smile to her face before her expression drops again. "I haven't seen Will yet... he's laying low after the most recent bombing. I'm sure he'd have a few choice words about Caspar." She looks down, flushing slightly in shame. "Probably about me, too."
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"You aren't everyone else, Adia. You're you. If you try to do what everyone else does just to fit in... it's just a lie. By all means, lie if you want to, lie if that is part of you, but know that it's a lie. Only you can know how you feel. Only you can know what you want. And only you can know what's right for you."
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"You answered me," she says to him, apropos of nothing. "When I asked you to tell me the truth. You didn't ignore me or push me away." She offers him the bottle of wine again and sighs. "Do you think you can take me again here sometime? When I'm not... when I'm feeling better."
No, she isn't everyone else. It's not in her heart to hate Caspar. She'll just have to learn to live with the pain.
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He follows her gaze around at the scenery. It's calming, even though it's so invigorating. "I can. It will have to be using a PINpoint next time."
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She almost asks why that is. The question is on the tip of her tongue. But then she remembers, and she bites her lip sympathetically. "Well, um..." She plows on ahead, digging out her PINpoint from her pocket. "I have one of those, so no worries." Her gaze returns to the mountains and she adds, "It's so beautiful here... not like anything I've seen in so long." She knows Reynard took her here to cry it out, but now that she's gotten the worst of it out, she's rather calm. "Thanks."
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He lets her root out her PINpoint and do whatever fiddling with it she needs to, he's happy to sit and enjoy the view. "The mountains are strong and rooted. They're always a good place to go to ground yourself again." He smiles at her. "I'm glad you like it here."
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There's a faint blush on Adia's face when she takes another sip of wine. True love. Maybe whatever she and Caspar had was a tragedy, but she'll take it. It's better than thinking that everything was a lie.
"Is it okay if I enter the coordinates?" she asks as she futzes with the PINpoint settings. Good thing she doesn't have any way to reach Caspar, or there would be drunk texting galore. "I love it here, Reynard. When I could hear the world as you do, it was the sound of the mountains I liked best." She pats the ground fondly, her mood tipping from sad to sentimental. "I wish I could be like that, too."
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"Of course. But be careful coming here on your own." This place is here for everyone to enjoy, and Reynard is only its caretaker for one quarter of the year. He almost continues a warning lecture on the dangers of hiking alone, but her next comment distracts him. Her mood may have moved away from sadness, but it's sadness that sneaks into his frown as he looks around. He doesn't like to think about what comes next, but it's getting more and more difficult. His hands curl up and his stomach clenches, despite not really needing either at this time of year. "I wish I could be like that always."
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"I wouldn't come here on my own," she says deferentially. "This is your home, I should only be here if you invite me." He definitely does not need to worry about her hiking alone. She manages to get the coordinates entered, despite the tiny keys working against her inebriated state, and tucks her PINpoint away.
When she looks up and sees the sadness in his frown, her own sentimentality is dropped for worry. Reynard has his own goodbyes to deal with soon, and knowing what's coming does not seem to make it any easier for him. "How come you don't go somewhere else that has Winter?" she asks, before blushing and adding hurriedly, "I mean, not the Nexus again, but, um... aren't the seasons opposing on the southern hemisphere? I think I read that about Earth once..." When she was looking up kangaroos, probably.
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"It's probably for the best," he says then. More to convince himself than anything. "Spending Winter in a place... it changes me. I suit my Season, where ever I am, whatever kind of Winter it has. Who knows what I'd be like after visiting the south."
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"You'd have to change your last name, too," she says, a ghost of a smile on her face. She hands him back the bottle of wine. Maybe for good this time. She's probably had enough. "How much have you traveled on Earth?"
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His question makes her smile -- more than a ghost this time -- and she nods. "As much as I could. It's why I took the job aboard the Chiron, I wanted the chance to see all twelve colonies." Her expression turns maudlin again and she looks away. "I managed four before the war started. That's better than most."
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When she smiles so does he. He shuffles to face her better. "What were their names? What were they like?"
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It also makes his offer to visit her Earth someday all the more touching, even if it's about as likely to happen as Caspar coming back to her. "I hope you still plan on taking a tour of my Earth, when we find it. Ambassador's orders." She smiles, but this joke feels more cruel than funny. Every day that passes without a sign from Galactica is a day farther from her dream of finding Earth.
His question, though... that brings the light back into her eyes. "Leonis, my home colony. Oh, I miss that one the most. We didn't have mountains like this, but it was so beautiful, every season... then there was a school trip to Caprica. We only went to Caprica City, but it was an amazing city -- giant skyscrapers, all sorts of restaurants and museums... and then when I graduated, my parents paid for a week in Scorpia." She laughs a little. "I don't think you'd like it, it's almost all tropical jungle. I saw an active volcano and rode horseback on a beach... and then Aquarion. I did an internship there. You would like that place the best. The Winters were six months long. The ice was so pure that it looked blue. I think it was my favorite, after Leonis. The people there were so resilient... but kind, too. I was an outsider, there to study diseases, but they'd welcome me into their pub, sometimes into their homes..."
She's crying again, but they're silent tears. She misses all of it so much. She wishes she had better, more poetic words to describe all of the places she's been. "I have some photos somewhere. I'll show you them sometime."
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It's easier to smile when she brightens, excitement returning to her words and enthusiasm lifting both of them. He pays her the most careful attention, laughing when she laughs and wincing playfully at the mention of hot jungles. "I'd love to see your photos. They all sound wonderful." His grin turns crooked. "Though I think I would prefer Aquarion to Scorpia. When it wasn't Winter, was there a lot of water on Aquarion? Did you sail?"
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"There was. Even in the winter, you could find patches clear of ice." She wipes at her face absently, untroubled by her tears. The deep nostalgia she's feeling is a welcome change from her heartbroken grief. "I did sail. Well, I mean, I would ride on a sailboat. I didn't know how to work the sails personally. We'd sail to the nearest iceberg on clear days. It gave our lab director fits. He was so worried we'd capsize..." She laughs softly at the memory.
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A thought occurs to him making him suddenly straighten and look around, as though consulting his surroundings on the matter before he smiles again and looks back at his friend. "How about a deal? I'll teach you a skill if you teach me... something. I can sail, or show you how to raft or kayak or climb... Whatever you'd like."
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Her expression brightens at his offer, however. "Sure... sure, I'd like that. I already know how to kayak, though." She flashes a quick grin. "But what about you? What do you want to learn from me?"
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He grins broadly when she mentions her ability to kayak. "Then I'll have to take you out on the water some time." Her question prompts a roll of his lips and he shifts his weight as he thinks. Finally he turns to her again. "What about helping me become an 'educated man'? If you'd like to. I know as much science as I've chanced upon, and mathematics where money is concerned..." His grin makes his eyes twinkle at her. "Then again, teaching me something like that might test your patience."
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"I'd like that. Maybe while we're on the water, you can teach me how to sail. That sounds like a useful skill." She waits patiently for Reynard to tell her what it will be in exchange for. His answer doesn't surprise her so much as flatter her. "I'd be honored to educate you, Reynard." Her smile is warm, and a touched charmed. She never expected her day to end with agreeing to teach a Winter spirit the basics of modern science, but it's miles better than how her day began. "I think I'll be okay. I always got high marks as a teaching assistant."
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It's his turn to be surprised then. He'd envisioned much of her education to be locked away in sterile laboratories which made the sailing trips an interesting change but here she goes adding yet another layer to her life of science. "Teaching assistant? You taught?"
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