Remembering the Dead

[sweetcandygirl]

Harley Quinn is seated on a large rock in the Nexus today. She seems to already to be in the Halloween spirit, as the colorful young woman is dressed as a circus ringmaster. But despite her colorful costume, her usual energetic spirit seems to be missing today.

She has a bouquet of flowers in her hand. And takes one of the flowers, then slowly removes the petals of the flower one-by-one, scattering them underneath her.

"This year is going to be the first time that I am not in Arkham, during a death-a-versary. And I am not really sure what I should do?" She bites her bottom lip for a moment. "How do you remember those who are gone, without letting the memories overwhelm you?"

Comments

[sweetcandygirl]

"Don't other people usually consider someone selfish, if they live in the moment?" Harley laughs slightly.

[not_the_question]

"Like anything, it's only selfish if you use it in a selfish manner."

Though he's confused by her laughter.

[sweetcandygirl]

She has learned that sometimes it is better to hide her pain, by laughing.

"How does one live in the moment in an unselfish manner?"

[not_the_question]

Well, he's an alien and that might be a bit subtle for him at this point.

"You focus on the needs of everyone and everything else. And then, you let that moment pass. Because the next moment, there are new people and things in your life who need your focus."

[sweetcandygirl]

"Focus." Harley pauses for a moment. And laughs softly again. "Geez Doctor, you do like to give me challenges to live up ta, dontcha?"

[not_the_question]

"Right, and here's another: stop laughing. This is serious and there's nothing I despise more than fake laughter."

He shrugs.

"You asked how I would do it. That's how. If you don't like it, you're welcome to find your own way."

[sweetcandygirl]

She glares at him for a moment. Then looks away. "That would be harder to accomplish without a little support and guidance. Doctor."

"Unless you are offering to help me work through the issues that make me laugh, when I get nervous. Or when I want to cry."

[not_the_question]

He spreads his arms.

"I'm here. Listening to you and answering your questions. What more do you want?"

[sweetcandygirl]

"I didn't say I didn't appreciate your answers."

Harley looks up at him. A little hurt. "I learned to laugh, so I wouldn't get hurt. I don't know how to stop. I wish I did."

[not_the_question]

"And does it do that? Does laughing stop the hurt?"

The Doctor is pretty sure it doesn't.

[sweetcandygirl]

"It did when it mattered." But she is trying to move on from her past. And the man who hurt her so much. She knows that she should not feel that need to laugh to protect herself. But she was treated like Pavlov's dog. Trained. Conditioned.

"It is hard to fight those compulsions."

[not_the_question]

"How? How did it help? Give me details. Be specific."

Because he's still not buying it.

[sweetcandygirl]

"If I laughed at his jokes, at his antics, at life in general... then Joker wouldn't hurt me." Harley shakes her head. "And the lies were easy to believe."

[not_the_question]

Oh... He didn't know torture was involved.

"He was wrong to do that to you. But I'm not him. You don't have to pretend around me."

[sweetcandygirl]

She keeps her head down for a moment. "I know you ain't him."

"I will try." But right now, there is a part of her that is still scared of Joker coming back for her.

"Moving on from him..." Her voice is cold. Distant. "Should be easier here. He can't find me here."

[not_the_question]

"Is that what you're trying to remember without the overwhelming feelings? That he hurt others?"

Something the Doctor knows well with the Master.

[sweetcandygirl]

"Someday, I will work on that trauma..."

"But today, I was just thinking of a friend of mine. The Day of the Dead is coming up." Harley explains softly.

[not_the_question]

He hums quietly in thought.

"Well, yes, I figured that much. This Joker wasn't involved with that?"

[sweetcandygirl]

"No. I had thought Joker was dead at the time."

"It was the team's first Suicide mission. And Diablo protected us. He burned himself up... protecting us."

[not_the_question]

"I see. I'm the wrong person to ask, then. You should ask... people who've watched me do that."

He's usually the one dying, after all.

[sweetcandygirl]

"You have sacrificed yourself a lot, in the past?"

[not_the_question]

"You could say that. I have a... talent. Makes it a bit easier to save others."

He's really not comfortable talking about this, sorry.

[sweetcandygirl]

She gets the hint.

"You have given me a lot to think about. Doctor."

[not_the_question]

"Well, one of the reasons they call me the Doctor."

He offers a bit of a grin. If only to show it's really not all bad.

[sweetcandygirl]

"So... think I could thank ya' with a hug?"