itmeanscourage: (thoughtful)
itmeanscourage ([personal profile] itmeanscourage) wrote in [community profile] nexus_crossings2021-10-08 07:07 am

Blinded (with Science?)

Furious, flustered and frightened, Isamu didn’t stop running until he’d reached the plaza. Out of breath, he sunk down behind one of the larger walls.

“Of all the… it is preposterous. That is what it is…” he huffed to himself, trying to gather his thoughts. “If I were actually collecting data without consent, or in direct violation of consent, that would be one thing… but a meta-analysis? A review of pre-existing literature? How can anyone object to that on ethical grounds?!”

Someone had, though. And that someone happened to be his brother’s girlfriend. Of course, it was not a question of if Minoru would find out about an argument heated enough to make the Anthean’s eyes glow. Just a question of when.

But at the moment, Isamu wasn’t even thinking about that.

“Is curiosity, in and of itself, a crime? If learning something new is satisfying or even pleasurable, does that automatically make it as reprehensible as getting high?” He pondered loud enough for any passersby to hear him. “Is science, simply because it requires empirical evidence, ideologically unethical? Where, between theory and practice, is that line drawn and who, if anyone, has the right to decide when it is crossed?!”
ziggyplayedguitar: (Hmm)

[personal profile] ziggyplayedguitar 2021-11-14 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
"No." Ziggy says simply. "We did it to a species like us. One with empathy, like us. Another species on our own planet." Which in many ways, in the mind of Antheans, made their actions worse. When an empathetic species preyed on another empathetic species no one could claim ignorance. "I guess there are parallels though, since I exist. Our species are very different but we were closer in the very distant past. However, we learned from our mistakes and what we did to others. We are not sure humans will given your history but someone has to remain optimistic."

That was one of the triggers of that fear. He saw someone close to him step into that place Antheans feared, why the elders wanted nothing to do with Earth. It was the idea humans would not change and would even act against those closest to them. Ziggy tried to avoid those stereotypes even when it felt hard to do. It let him forgive where other Antheans wouldn't.

Minoru though Ziggy shook his head. "I do know. It's the cost of seeing the past and future. I know exactly what will happen if I fail and if I succeed." Ziggy turned his attention back to Isamu though because this struggle was important and no sense in starting a second. "One of the major paths to what we did was value can we over should we; of science over consideration; personal desires over universal benefit. Thomas may be a better person to talk to than I am. He was victimized by humans but he was also victimized by other Antheans in terrifyingly similar ways. He has seen both of our species fall into the darkness."

Ziggy touched the book Isamu still had in his hands. "I forgive you for not understanding but I still need you to understand." That was the honest part, an apology of sorts. Ziggy could forgive, in this case for more reasons than one. His eyes turned down to the pages of the notebook and he shook his head. "How do you feel about this notebook?"
ziggyplayedguitar: (Self hug)

[personal profile] ziggyplayedguitar 2021-11-14 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Ziggy was patient, infinitely patient, as were most Antheans. Thomas had wondered during his interactions with humans if it was a weakness of his people. Ziggy had gone back and forth between the ideas himself.

"I believe you are a good enough person that if you truly understood enough of my perspective we would agree more than we are right now, more than we had before." It was an honest answer. He didn't need full agreement but he did believe that Isamu was a good person.

"You believe it is impossible to understand but I think you can. We are coming into conflict, maybe, because I have more faith in your abilities in this moment than you do?" It's a gentle question, and sort of a statement. Ziggy isn't really sure which it is. "I have not said you are broken. Those are your beliefs even when I have spoken about you contrary to the point you still seem to believe. Why do you insist I think you are broken?"

That question came of curiosity, worry, confusion. While the worry might be hidden to Isamu the confusion is clear on his expression. He let out a long breath and considered.

"Whether or not you want to read it is not the point." Ziggy finally offers. "Whether or not you care about where it came from is?" He's speaking slowly, thinking his way through the emotions he has. "More importantly, perhaps, you need to consider why you continue to assume I think you are broken and remain upset with you even after I have said you are not broken and that I have forgiven you for our misunderstandings."

Ziggy looked at the other paper where it was sitting on the counter and smiled faintly. "I think it is a good gesture that you have removed the data, meaningful to me, but I would like you to understand why it is important and meaningful to me. You may stand here and believe I see a horrible person but you are the twin of someone I love. In my culture you are my family, as much my brother as my own twin. It takes humans a long time to adjust to our culture, I know this. You say you want to know us, Antheans, and I would teach you. However, right now, it resonates like you want to know WHAT we are and not WHO we are. That does make my species uncomfortable, makes some humans uncomfortable too... for someone to see a WHAT instead of a WHO."
ziggyplayedguitar: (Crawl)

[personal profile] ziggyplayedguitar 2021-11-14 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
"You know Mick puts her to sleep too by being too much of a dad." Ziggy tried to smile but just shook his head and motioned at the rest of the building with his hand, venting the frustrated feeling with the gesture. "No! It relies on me and every other person risking with me to save this planet. They're all your species. They aren't empaths, they aren't Antheans. They just know the cost of this world for themselves, for the people they love. Some of them may even be more broken than you imagine yourself to be."

Ziggy huffed out a breath at this display and Minoru would certainly feel the frustration building in the Anthean. "Did you just suggest Minoru is broken too because I've forgiven him for more than I've ever had to do with you. Minoru and I have had arguments that make our little disagreement look like a happy tea party."

Ziggy stopped and all of his presence went silent. "Isamu, I don't know what is going on in your head but... until you stop convincing yourself about me thinking you are broken we will get nowhere. I've tried to tell you I don't think you're broken but you've ignored me thus far. I never said you were a threat to my mission either. I don't understand why you keep saying things to me that I've not said to you."

Ziggy sighed and shook his head. Glancing around the room before meeting Minoru's panicked gaze with one of his own; at a loss for what to do for the moment. Slowly, Ziggy brought his attention back to Isamu.

"Humans fear the unknown. Humanity is taught to think of the dark, the silence, or an unanswered question as a terror as real as a demon under the bed. Fear demands you pluck at it until you know so it isn't scary any longer." He pulled completely away from anything that related to specific people to try and dispel the tension that seemed to be growing.

He's giving time for that to sink in while looking for the right words. "It is uncomfortable, I imagine, not knowing every molecule in us. Humans fear not knowing as a species. We fear what you might do to us in order to no longer feel afraid, to not so gently yank us from the unknown box to the comfortably understood and digested box, metaphorically."
ziggyplayedguitar: (Mussy hair)

[personal profile] ziggyplayedguitar 2021-11-15 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
Ziggy sighed heavily and moved toward Isamu, glancing between the notebook and the person holding.

"The notebook doesn't have the answers you seek." He slid his hand over the notebook but didn't take it yet. "What and who are very important, Isamu, and the threat you mentioned isn't even one I had considered but you're right that it could."

He shakes his head and finally takes the notebook back. "I forgive you for all of this. I don't see someone broken or faulty, never have, even when I learned you couldn't feel me. I accepted that was who the twin of my partner was and I accept you even when we argue or disagree. In my culture, apologies and making right..." he paused to point at Isamu's paper. "... are more important and enduring than any argument."

He stepped in to offer another hug to Isamu, if he wanted it. "The other side of that is that you might have some answers if you asked the people instead of trying to devise experiments to figure it out alone." Ziggy tried to smile and wished Isamu could feel the forgiveness but knew he couldn't. "You're not alone here but, perhaps I should teach you some of our culture before you talk to the older Antheans?"

It's gentle, forgiveness, an offer to help, everything Ziggy can think of to tell Isamu it is ok. That this is ok. That they are ok as friends.