nexus_crossings | Time for a big ol' Nexus Block party

Time for a big ol' Nexus Block party

On a sleepy summer morning a wonderful smell begins to waft throughout the Nexus. For those familiar with this place there can only be one explanation but for those new faces to the nexus this may be a strange thing: seeing so many people flocking toward the sweet and savory scents perfuming the Nexus.

There are a few tables set out this morning in the Plaza in front of a small cafe loaded with several carafes of coffee, a myriad of pastries from more than a few different worlds and cultures, and a large pan of eggs and sausage kept warm over a chafing dish. On either end of the table are disposable plates, cups, and cutlery as well as a few welcome pamphlets in a small container. Along the front of the tables is a hand made banner.

Meet and Greet

Manning the tables is Katsuya Suou, red apron on and a cup of coffee in hand. He looks far too cheerful for how early in the morning it is. It's always satisfying to put one of these on and see the throngs of different people stuck in line together to get their food and find a place to sit among the tables and couches nearby.

"Right then, is anyone hungry? I've got more than enough here for everyone so please mingle among yourselves or feel free to ask me anything you'd like."

((OOC: This thread is ALL ABOUT threadjacking and hopping. I encourage folks to tag on each other's comments and mingle rather than to reply only to me. This is a huge opportunity to have your characters interact with people they wouldn't have talked to before. Branch out! Meet new people! Scheme new schemes! Steal the last chocolate croissant!))

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Steve is careful not to approach from his blind spot, walking slowly toward one of the empty spaces at the table with a cup of coffee in his hand. The way he telegraphs his intentions, you could see them from space. Maybe he's excessively cautious, but he knows he wouldn't appreciate a lookalike sneaking up on him. And maybe he's feeling cagey about this encounter.

Still needs to be done. A casual public gathering is probably the best place to start.

"Hey," he greets quietly once he's in earshot and convinced he's caught the other's eye. "Got a minute? I thought I oughtta clear the air."

It's got to be every kind of disconcerting to watch yourself having conversations with people: catching someone's meal when they trip over him, offering polite greetings and reserved 'this is expected of me' smiles to folks who stop by and greet him. Only once did anyone approaching earn a real reaction out of Steve--a bout of real worry and concern.

He's by himself when this new face (oh the irony) approaches. Steve's gaze flits up from his own cup of coffee. Nat warned him about this, as did Adia, and Ghost. He hasn't had the chance yet though to ask Jim Kirk how he dealt with these kinds of things though, so Steve's flying solo here as he breaks his doppelganger's gaze to flit it down to the empty chair across from him and nods ever so slightly.

What do you say to yourself??? Steve's frowning more than he means to while he thinks way too hard about what he's supposed to say or do here.

"Was kind of hoping you'd show up. Shoulda thought about how I'd handle it more though." It's not like he hadn't but how does one prepare for something like this?

Disconcerting, yet familiar somehow. Steve has long been an avoider of parties, and since he's been on the run it's gotten a lot easier. Still, he remembers the days. It's not that he dislikes people or fun, but he's always been a little awkward. That, and lately he's waiting for Peggy to appear in blue and take his hand, champagne corks to pop violently, and then for the room to empty in the blink of an eye, leaving him alone.

You can't go home again, so they say.

He sits at the implied invitation, clasping both hands around his cup. And he smiles, although it's wary and strained. "Well, the PSA was...I don't wanna say a nice start, but definitely a useful heads-up."

And it's so tempting to make jokes about it, because they would be self-deprecating and that's his comfort zone, but, well, there's a second 'self' here, and he doesn't want to piss him off. "If there's a guidebook for this, I haven't seen it. We can wing it."

"I wanted to start by letting you know I'm not here to make trouble, and I'm not looking to be your evil twin or anything. I'm on the fence about whether we oughtta compare notes. If one of us knows something that might pop up in the other's future, that kind of thing. It might be safer not to know..."

There's a silent 'but' there. He knows he's not great at playing it safe. Seems likely other-Steve is the same.

"The...the PSA."

Steve's groan is quiet enough not to draw attention but every bit as mortified that someone who knows him actually saw that thing. Himself, even. So much for claiming the days of being a dancing monkey were behind him. "That wasn't my idea, by the way."

It feels important to point that out, even if it seems to be doing some genuine good around here. Steve doesn't have to like it. He sees that tempted look on your face, Rogers. Isn't really discouraging it either. Withe everything that's happened up till now Steve's a lot more somber than he used to be but he's not incapable of smiling or having fun.

"I doubt your history's the same as mine, pal." Steve gives a weak shrug and the barest hints of the beginning of a smile. "I was stuck here in the Nexus for years before...well. Before." Before they became something else, he means.

He smiles more genuinely this time, a blend of amusement and sympathy--and damn it's nice for the embarrassment to be secondhand for once. "Well, then, we can't be too divergent, personality-wise, because I can't think of much that would coax me into doing those again."

No bribe of any kind would, only someone appealing to his sense of personal responsibility. Sounds like that's what happened here, too.

"Yeah, I heard that. Before Project Rebirth." He looks the other Steve over thoughtfully, not too personal, but almost like he's watching his body language, or maybe checking for scars that may or may not be there. "But you went through with it anyway, I see. And...the war? Hydra?"

"Least it wasn't those movies again. A minute long loop is nothing by comparison."

The grumble comes around Steve's mug of coffee, which he retreats into for a good long sip while he tries to suss out this other man wearing his face without being too obvious he's doing it. Why should he bother to hide it though? Steve's sure the other one is doing the same right back. Right? It's a headache even trying to think about this for any length of time.

His double's question leaves Steve's hands curling into fists in his lap. His jaw clenching ever so slightly. How does he tell himself about what happened to Bucky? About everything that's happened as a result of his (he assumes) messed up timeline? After a long moment of silence Steve nods.

"..Not exactly the way it should have happened, but...yeah. I did eventually go back to my time and....and saw out the war. Can I ask what year it is where you're at now? Because I'm not so sure--" Then again, Steve looks over the other man's clothes and hair. Either he's adapted to the Nexus pretty quickly, or he's also spent some time well OUT of their time. "I honestly don't know how similar our stories will be, or that you'll wanna hear mine."

Edited 2018-07-31 14:58 (UTC)

"Clearly our talents lie in theater, not the big screen," he says dryly.

This is actually less weird than he was afraid of, looking at this twin of him. If it were him before the serum, he thinks, that would be tragically disorienting. But some part of him refuses to fully claim the physical alterations wrought by Rebirth, so it's less like looking in a mirror than it is looking at someone who's...vaguely familiar, in a dreamlike way, but you can't quite place them.

"What the hell's 'should have'?" he shakes his head. "There's no such thing as fate. Just accidents we wish we could have prevented."

He takes a breath. "Well, if everything's completely different, it'll be irrelevant and we can forget about it. It's 2018 where I come from. Early on. Natasha and Sam are headed to Italy to meet up with me. Wanda is taking downtime. Tony is...no word from Tony. And Bucky is in Wakanda trying to recover."

Blue eyes go laser-focused, watching for a reaction, and not just because he's collecting information. He wants to make sure the mention of Bucky doesn't send this other guy into shock or anything; kindness is important, even if you're dealing with a duplicate of yourself.

Oh no.

How? How is all of that so similar? He's spending most of his time in the nexus these days and Steve's pretty sure Natasha is too. And yet...and yet. 2018, ahead of even his own schedule by the sounds of it. He had to bury Peggy Carter. He had to lose the Commandos.

And Bucky. How is Bucky still around in this time too? All this time Steve's been operating under the assumption that what happened to Bucky was somehow because of his time in the Nexus. Because of the dead eyed soldier he'd met when he first arrived with newspaper stuffed into his ill fitting shoes the day he first stumbled into the Nexus. He feels like there's not enough air in the room suddenly but it's hardly the first time information has come as a surprise to Steve Rogers so he forces himself to take a deep breath and hold it. Slowly let it go and nod.

He knows what you're talking about.

"Sounds about right." Nothing right about any of it, but it sounds accurate. That will have to do. "Kinda surprised how much of it lines up given how much time I spent in the Nexus."

Oh, geez. It's actually physically painful to see that look on his face. If he could take it back...except there's no point, is there. What happened, happened. To both of them, evidently. And it seems like they might be coping with it roughly the same way.

He looks into his coffee cup for a moment, swirling the dregs in the bottom, as if to give his alternate some space to catch his breath.

"Maybe I'm wrong about fate not being a thing, then. Maybe..." No, never mind. It's not good to think that way. If predestination exists, Steve Rogers was born to fight tooth and nail against the inevitable.

"Or maybe our worlds are just close parallels. Are you okay?" He looks up again, calm and resigned and just a little bit miserable. "Scratch that, if you're me you're gonna answer 'yes' no matter what. We're here, we've faced the same BS and there's a good chance we'll end up facing more of it. If you need backup, I'm there."

"I'm f--"

Oh, well then. Steve shuts his mouth when his counterpart speaks up again and somehow that is the bizarre last straw that has him barking out a laugh with no real humor behind it. If he didn't laugh he'd be working himself up into doing something far more ill advised. He turns a wry smile to his...older? Counterpart? It can't be by much, but here they are.

"I'd rather not chalk anything up to fate, just like you said. I've been spending this whole time thinking me being in the nexus screwed everything up but I guess the folks who saved my life are better at messing with time than I thought." Not that Steve knows Dr. Strange on a personal level yet, but well. The good doctor does know a thing or two about time and alternate universes. "I just got back to the Nexus recently. I'd been stuck here for years, like I said. Lotta folks claimed to know me, but they all knew..." He gestures to them both then. Captain America.

"I started to hate the idea of another me out there with some fancy altered body. Hated the fact that I was nothing but a perpetual disappointment. Couldn't do anything they would talk about--got into a lot of fights and trouble here trying to push myself too far. This place was attacked a while back. Not anyone from our worlds. I nearly died trying to buy folks who could fight these...I dunno what you'd call them. Super soldiers, probably." Snort. The irony isn't lost there. "They needed time to coordinate an attack. I gave them that, but it shoulda killed me. One of the folks who said he knew me took me back to his world and to be honest I don't know what all they did or how they sent me back. I wasn't conscious for most of it. By the time I woke up, it was like this...with Erskine dying. Just another face I didn't know telling me who he thought I was. It took sending Bucky to Wakanda for treatment before I made it back here, and it was like nothing had changed. I was only gone here for about six months."

Steve gives a shrug of his shoulders and finishes off his mug of coffee.

"Feeling's mutual, Steve. I know my way round the Nexus better than most anyone. I...don't think I'm quite at where you are, and it's probably safe I don't ask for updates on what you're doing. I don't want to second guess my own missions. I want to. I want to ask you about every detail of your life to know what's different but it just. Doesn't seem like it'll matter, in the end. You're you. I'm me. But I'll have your back."

Time and lengthy (rather stressful) heart-to-hearts with Sam have made this Steve pretty self-aware. He's ready to extend that to his alternate by assumption, although he should probably tread lightly. There may still be subtle differences between the way they look at things.

He quiets to listen to this alternate backstory and it strikes him at once how frustrating and disorienting it must have been. Maybe not more so than his own history, but equally at least, and in a different way.

"Honestly, I miss being the little guy," he says slowly. "I still do. I didn't see it then, but there's a grace to it, spending every day fighting your limits and winning, and then taking on bigger battles whenever you can. Everyone's impressed when they see a big guy lift a motorcycle. No one applauds for a kid with asthma and an aching back limping through the day, but it takes more effort."

"I wasn't looking to become someone different. I just wanted to contribute with what I had. Although, I don't regret being able to do what I can do now. I just wish it hadn't taken so much for the rest of the world to give me a goddamn chance."

"I hope you don't resent me, knowing I went into it voluntarily." He'd get it, though. "But, wait, does that mean you don't have any memory of basic training? Talking to Dr. Erskine? Colonel Phillips being a jerk?"

Because he has a story for you, if so.

"I miss it every day."

And why shouldn't he? What laid behind the door to the recruitment office that changed their lives for him wasn't a meeting with Erskine but the Nexus. He made a home for himself here. Used his skills as an artist to get by on his own without help from anyone. But he saw things here too. Things like The Asset. People from other worlds who all knew Captain America and who without fail were always let down when they met Steve.

It left him feeling alone. Like he didn't belong in his own world or the Nexus. It just made him all the more stubborn to get by. All the more determined to earn his own way. Only to lose it at the hands of an Augment looking to destroy the Nexus. He never chose to become Captain America.

But this Steve Rogers did.

"Someone who gave you a chance. I think...I understand. When I went in...the night I found the Nexus. That's what I was looking for. Someone who'd see me. Can't rightly fault a guy for choosing that."

He shakes his head. The only training Steve had were the missions he'd done in the Nexus with other military types. He'd had to pick everything else up as he went along.

"They knew me. The colonel. Peggy. But I didn't remember them. I had to get to know them after. All I wanted was to make sure what I thought would happen to Buck with me not around didn't happen. It didn't work out that way."

Edited 2018-08-02 22:28 (UTC)

There's a flicker on the older Steve's face, a brief but intense look of gratitude. He doesn't think anyone else has ever quite gotten it. Not even Peggy. Not even Bucky. They saw him, but not through his eyes.

"Yeah...everything got real complicated after that," he says, and sees no need to elaborate. They've had a similar enough time, even if all the details aren't quite the same. "When I met Dr. Erksine, he asked me was I signing up because I wanted to kill Nazis. I told him no, I just don't like bullies. Which wasn't a lie, but I probably should have mentioned that whole 'wanting to prove I don't have to be a burden' thing, too. I think he figured it out anyway."

"It's too bad you didn't get to know him. He wasn't perfect. I look back on the serum and the experiment and, god, what an awful, ethically questionable idea it was in the first place. But I still believe he was a man who wanted peace, and just hoped to put power in the right hands. And that's humbling, that he thought ours were the right ones. He asked me to promise to be 'not a perfect soldier, but a good man'. I think I've screwed that up off and on, but I still remember and I still try."

He really needs to tell him about the first time he saw Peggy, too, because the memory of her clocking Hodge is one of the best he's got. But Bucky is a more urgent topic. He always is, and he doesn't have to see the look in Steve's eyes or hear the tone in his voice to understand what he's thinking.

He reaches over and clasps his forearm (weird, that's what his own arm must feel like to other people). "He's getting better, in Wakanda. Shuri is pretty amazing, and it's peaceful where he's staying. Simple. He sounds more like himself every time I talk to him. Yours can have that, too, I'm sure of it."

He'll never be the same; Steve doesn't have to tell his alternate that, but Bucky can still be okay. "I know it's cold comfort, but it's something."

Steve gives a tiny snort and there is a kernel of humor to it once more.

"I'm pretty sure I said the exact same thing verbatim to Blaze the first time I met her and Ghost. They're--wow it's hard to explain but they're a couple of the best here in the Nexus. You really oughta meet them both. I'm pretty sure they'd like you."

Not a perfect soldier, but a good man. That explains a lot about the only memories of Erskine Steve does have. It's warming to think someone looked at the man he used to be and saw that in him.

"I haven't talked to him yet." The admission is a quiet one. One carefully devoid of emotion so as not to let the levies burst. "He needs to find himself on his own, and if I let myself talk to him I'd be over there before i knew it and--he doesn't need that. He doesn't need my memories of James Buchanen Barnes. He needs time to learn how to be himself again. And that comes with all the wounds and missing pieces."

"I met them," he smiles. "They were concerned I was you with amnesia at first, I think. It's nice to see you've got friends here--I mean, everyone I met who knows you spoke well of you."

And I'm riding on your coattails, is what he does not say. Because he's certainly not trying to do so. It's just inevitable that the people who knew this Steve first will compare the two of them.

He purses his lips at the admission, understanding the reasoning, but a few steps ahead in time. "You're not wrong," he says slowly. "But...you know he hates it when we try and sacrifice on his behalf. You're gonna get told off sooner or later. Besides, he needs space to find himself, but he needs to be reassured he's not tainted, too. Don't leave him alone so long he thinks he's not good enough for you now."

Yeah, he's been over that. It wasn't a fun argument.

"That's what the message Ghost sent me was about, then." It makes a lot more sense in retrospect that they had run into this Steve. He's glad too that they got along with him alright. They're a couple of real good allies and friends.

You're not wrong.

What a Tony thing to say. Especially when he's right. That digs a bit deeper than Steve would like, but this man has lived through the consequences of those choices already and--oh. Oh how the color drains slowly from Steve's face, only to be replaced by a cold shock.

"He couldn't--he's not." He could never be, even when he was at his most broken. Steve didn't give up on him then, he's sure as hell not about to start now. "He doesn't have to do a damn thing to be 'good enough' for either of us."

Edited 2018-08-06 22:08 (UTC)

That's probably where he picked up that speech habit, yes, although he's not thinking about it right now. Unlike Tony, though, Steve says 'you're not wrong' in a tone that doesn't imply he thinks the other person's a nimrod. But this Steve hasn't been in touch with Tony since the fight in that frozen bunker. It's just sometimes people leave a mark on you, even if you're not aware of it.

"You know that, and I know that," he tells his counterpart. "But Bucky might not. At least, mine didn't. He's still...struggling to internalize it, is how Sam puts it. The idea that he's a victim and not a monster."

"I mean, I can't say for sure your version feels the same as mine. Mine still can't get over how close he was to killing me on the helicarrier. He's a little leery of being touched, but he likes phone calls, and I've visited a couple times. Think about it. You might be able to head off the argument we had a few months ago."

It's been rough, not talking to Tony. Having to go through Natasha to get any kind of insight as to how the other is doing and if he's holding up alright. The worst part, Steve thinks, is how even though he regrets how things ended, he knows he would do it again. There's nothing that will stop him from reaching a hand out when Bucky Barnes needs it.

And it would be just like Buck to ignore all the progress he's made and assume he's no good. The very same stubbornness he used to get mad at Steve over all those years ago, and here they are with the situation reversed.

"He's a survivor." Steve doesn't want to treat Bucky like either of those things. Something broken. Something inhuman. He's Bucky, simple as that. Neither he nor Steve may be the same as before they were put away for an age but it doesn't much matter. "Phone calls...I can do phone. I think." Not being able to see Bucky will make it easier to not just drop everything and head to Wakanda the minute his friend's expression breaks.

"I don't want him to get any funny ideas."

This Steve has analyzed what happened, how things went wrong, over and over and over, and there's plenty he regrets, but very little he could have done differently. And that weighs on him, because he promised Tony the Avengers would face whatever came at them together, and broke that promise in spite of his best efforts. Maybe, sometimes, there is no clean win. Sometimes you tell the world 'no, you move', and it just doesn't obey.

But they're still standing. Still pushing.

"It's worth the pain," he tells his counterpart with a weak smile. "For both parties. But, uh...actually, you should probably keep in mind who you're talkin' to here. My judgment isn't exactly known as flawless these days."

Even if he does stand by his actions.

The warning jars Steve from his thoughts.

Startles a chuckle from him he didn't know he could even give anymore. Hey, who better to appreciate a guy's sense of humor and self depreciation than himself, right? This is undeniably weird but it's not as bad is it could have been. It helps that he's got a friend going through the same thing around here. At least the idea isn't mind breaking to him anymore.

"Well, I'm sure I'd get the same idea sooner or later. That might be how this works. I have a friend running around with a double too. I never thought to ask him about it before. Seemed rude. Now I'm wondering if I should have been taking notes."

It's kind of nice to hear himself laugh. Almost as nice as having a laugh himself, which is an event that's been few and far between lately.

This could be okay, having an unexpected twin. Chances are they'll feed heavily into one another's moods, and that could lead to trouble, but otherwise it's hard to argue with meeting someone who can very clearly empathize with all the crap you've been through.

"Maybe," he says. "I think I know who you mean, too. Met them both. They seem like good guys. I don't know, maybe how you get along with a double depends on what kind of personality you have to begin with. You and me, we're stubborn as hell and not exactly easygoing, but it sounds like we have the same values."

Someone with a superiority complex, someone who needs to be the best, might see an alternate as a rival to be put down and conquered. No chance of that coming into play with them. As long as they don't get on opposite sides of an issue worth fighting for, they should be fine.

"Oh, you've met Captain Kirk? Er, one of them anyway. Or both? Wow. I only know one of them real well at all."

Despite having some of the same friends getting the two captains together in the same place has been remarkably difficult somehow. Strange thing, that. But this Steve is making a whole lot of sense and that's what's important right now.

"Suppose that's true. And I don't know about you but I've seen enough weird in my life that this doesn't even rank in the top five."

"Well, I wouldn't say I know either of them well, given I just met 'em, but yeah. They both dropped by to talk to me when I first showed up."

His gaze goes distant for a moment, as if he's reflecting on said 'weird in my life' and considering where this one ranks in his own estimation. "...definitely in the top ten," he concludes. "But no, not the top five."

He takes a breath and gets a PINpoint gingerly out of his pocket. "I should probably...get moving. But let me give you my contact information, in case something comes up? I'm not real comfortable with this thing yet, but I'm pretty sure I can send a text without blowing myself up."

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Time for a big ol' Nexus Block party

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